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Theme Changer

 Topic: Dealing with Emotions

 (Read 4758 times)
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  • Dealing with Emotions
     OP - January 17, 2012, 07:00 PM
    Lately things have been kind of heavy. I feel a guilty because I'm finally at a point and place where people are now treating me with some semblance of respect, and that I have no right to be upset anymore, but maybe it's because of that fact that I finally have time to think about and deal with my problems, where before I was just trying to survive.

    I don't really talk to anyone in real life. I spend my free time on here, or watching sad movies. I don't really know what to do anymore. I'm just realizing more and more that I'm going to have to do some things, starting this year, that are going to be hard, and I'm probably going to lose some of the few people that I do have. And I'm just afraid of it all. I'm scared that I'm going to be an adult soon, that I'm going to have to take things into my own hands.

    And to put my own issues aside, a lot of the people I care very dearly about have been going through some hard things lately too. I really hate that there isn't anything I can do for them.

    For so long I thought I couldn't feel anything at all. I just felt numb. But over the past month or so I've just been feeling like everything from the past five years or so has jumped up on me. Everything feels. I've become this soggy lump on the couch, and I don't even know how to deal with it all. Maybe I just didn't care before. I don't know.

    I don't even feel like getting up in the morning. I don't want to go to school, I don't want to get dressed, I don't want to take a shower, I don't want to do anything. I'm sick of putting on this happy face and acting like there's nothing wrong. Really, all I want to do is lie under my blanket.

    Just...there's so much stuff, such a mess in my life, things I have to fix. And it's even worse that I don't really have people I can talk about it to. Sometimes I wonder if I can even fix things on my own. I just feel really alone.

    I'm not coming here for sympathy, and I don't want to be a downer. I just want to know if anyone out there knows how to deal with this stuff, if anyone has advice on how to get up in the morning without having that pit in your stomach saying, "Oh shit, we have to go out and pretend everything's fine again." Or something.
    Life is what happens to you while you're staring at your smartphone.

    Eternal Sunshine of the Religionless Mind
  • Re: Dealing with Emotions
     Reply #1 - January 17, 2012, 07:45 PM
    The transition from teen to adult is scary, especially when you realise all the responsibilities that lie ahead of you. Life used to be so structured where parents and teachers are always around to tell you what to do (even if you roll your eyes at it Grin) but the older you get, the more it becomes apparent that no one can or is going to always look out for you and increasingly important decisions boil down to you and you alone.

    Sounds like all the stresses of life, and your other personal problems have got you stuck in a rut. That's how things get when you're depressed. Not wanting to go out anywhere or do anything. I used to lie in my bed for days if I could get away from it.

    Do you know if you can get access to a counsellor to whom you can confide in and speak about your problems? There isn't always a solution to every problem, but some times just talking about it to someone professional can help, especially since friends or family can be biased or not always able to keep things confidential.

    Looking at the big picture can be overwhelming. There so much going on, so many things to fix etc. Maybe it might help to break things down into realistic goals and work on a little bit at a time. Small successes will eventually group into bigger ones.

    We all go through shit periods in our lives now and again, so don't feel alone. If it helps, you can always PM me to rant/vent/talk whatever  far away hug
  • Re: Dealing with Emotions
     Reply #2 - January 17, 2012, 08:03 PM
    Yeah, what wankie said, talk to someone. Getting this off your chest will help a lot. That might seem hard but internalizing everything and dealing with it alone will only make it worse. It's worth giving up a little of your privacy and sharing your inner thoughts with someone else in this case and it will help them give you better advice or support. Bouncing ideas off that person regarding other issues such as how to achieve your goals or tackle the future is worth it too. No one can fix things entirely on their own hugs

    Started from the bottom, now I'm here
    Started from the bottom, now my whole extended family's here

    JOIN THE CHAT
  • Re: Dealing with Emotions
     Reply #3 - January 17, 2012, 08:28 PM
    I don't know if what I am going to say is helpful or not, but I just wanted you to know that what you are going through is perfectly normal for this stage of your life, you are not the only one who goes through such turmoil and emotional roller coaster at this stage of your life.  Honest, I promise you... whatever background whatever race, we all go through this.  So be kind to yourself and give yourself a break.
    This too shall pass Smiley

     far away hug
    Teach us to care and not to care / Teach us to sit still.
    What do we live for; if it is not to make life less difficult to each other
    You are the music while the music lasts.
    T.S.Eliot
  • Re: Dealing with Emotions
     Reply #4 - January 17, 2012, 08:48 PM
    Thanks guys. I don't really have a way to get a counselor. It's just everything has been a nightmare since my mom kicked me out, and I guess I'm kind of overwhelmed.
    Life is what happens to you while you're staring at your smartphone.

    Eternal Sunshine of the Religionless Mind
  • Re: Dealing with Emotions
     Reply #5 - January 17, 2012, 09:50 PM
    when things get overwhelming for me.. there's a lil thing i do, that kind of helps me get myself back on track..
    say to yourself this.." if i didn't feel like this.. what would i be doing.. " i know it sounds silly, but its a way of looking at yourself from a different perspective (and sometimes that's all it takes ).. whatever the answer is to that question, is probably a good place to start..

    and of course.. you always have us.. if you need a place or to talk let me know..  far away hug
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NV9vdUjuWxc
  • Re: Dealing with Emotions
     Reply #6 - January 17, 2012, 09:57 PM
    Thank you nessrriin  far away hug
    Life is what happens to you while you're staring at your smartphone.

    Eternal Sunshine of the Religionless Mind
  • Re: Dealing with Emotions
     Reply #7 - January 17, 2012, 10:39 PM
    hello Andromeda Smiley

    what I say might seem completely irrelevant to your situation but will just put it out there Smiley I've been going through a rough patch for the past couple of months and I just can't see how it's gonna get better anytime soon...
    but what I try to do is when I feel really low is to either give myself a 'pity party' for time that I agree with myself beforehand. if I feel really low I just sleep it off and hope that when I wake up I will feel better. But yeah, pity party all the way Wink
    after a couple of hours i'm tired of myself crying and despairing so I try to do sth that just might change my situation or simply make me feel better. I also make plans, one step at a time that will get me where I want to be. just small things, small steps so that I can say to myself that at least I tried...

    I know we didn't speak on here before but if you wish you can pm anytime Smiley  far away hug

    @nessrriinn

    i'm gonna try out your method! seems cool and might give me some more perspective Smiley
    Quote from: zooby on December 26, 2011, 01:57 AM
    I think a lot of us were brought here by google. Verily google guides whom it wills!

  • Re: Dealing with Emotions
     Reply #8 - January 17, 2012, 11:42 PM
    Thanks Clarap. I'm AKA Solara, btw.  Smiley
    Life is what happens to you while you're staring at your smartphone.

    Eternal Sunshine of the Religionless Mind
  • Re: Dealing with Emotions
     Reply #9 - January 17, 2012, 11:46 PM
    ahhh I think I recall Smiley in any case, I do hope you feel better soon  far away hug
    Quote from: zooby on December 26, 2011, 01:57 AM
    I think a lot of us were brought here by google. Verily google guides whom it wills!

  • Re: Dealing with Emotions
     Reply #10 - January 18, 2012, 12:06 AM
    Hang in there, Andromeda. far away hug
    "Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so." -- Bertrand Russell

    Baloney Detection Kit
  • Re: Dealing with Emotions
     Reply #11 - January 18, 2012, 12:55 AM
    Andromeda
    I think wankie hit the nail on the head.  You are exhibiting some signs of depression.
    and theres no shame in that, but i am not a clinician or a doctor, and if there is any
    way you can see a doctor at least, to see about helping to even out the roller coaster
    for you. 

    Yep.. becoming an adult is very scary sometimes.  However, it is survivable  grin12
    The pay offs, are independence, freedom to do what you want, when you want, make
    your own choices, good or bad (we ALL make both), and the list goes on and on.

    You are at a tough age right now.  You want so much to be independent, but still
    trying to obtain skill sets that will help you for the rest of your life.  I know it seems
    eternal right now, but once you finish school, you will begin to understand how it feels
    to reap the benefits of your labors, when you get your certificate.  It DOES pay off
    no matter how small or big the obstacles you overcome. 

    I get swept away sometimes, and start freaking out when something crazy happens,
    but then I think to myself, "is this going to matter a year from now?"  We have our
    little coping things to help us along thru rough patches.

    We are here for you, sweetheart!

     far away hug
    When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.
    Helen Keller
  • Re: Dealing with Emotions
     Reply #12 - January 18, 2012, 01:21 AM
     far away hug far away hug far away hug
  • Re: Dealing with Emotions
     Reply #13 - January 18, 2012, 01:52 AM
    Quote from: Jinn and Tonic on January 18, 2012, 12:55 AM
    Andromeda
    I think wankie hit the nail on the head.  You are exhibiting some signs of depression.
    and theres no shame in that, but i am not a clinician or a doctor, and if there is any
    way you can see a doctor at least, to see about helping to even out the roller coaster
    for you. 

    Yep.. becoming an adult is very scary sometimes.  However, it is survivable  grin12
    The pay offs, are independence, freedom to do what you want, when you want, make
    your own choices, good or bad (we ALL make both), and the list goes on and on.

    You are at a tough age right now.  You want so much to be independent, but still
    trying to obtain skill sets that will help you for the rest of your life.  I know it seems
    eternal right now, but once you finish school, you will begin to understand how it feels
    to reap the benefits of your labors, when you get your certificate.  It DOES pay off
    no matter how small or big the obstacles you overcome. 

    I get swept away sometimes, and start freaking out when something crazy happens,
    but then I think to myself, "is this going to matter a year from now?"  We have our
    little coping things to help us along thru rough patches.

    We are here for you, sweetheart!

     far away hug


    It's not just about getting older, there's other things too.
    Life is what happens to you while you're staring at your smartphone.

    Eternal Sunshine of the Religionless Mind
  • Re: Dealing with Emotions
     Reply #14 - January 21, 2012, 07:54 AM


    I get the feelin like u r  are haunted by a spectre and prehaps


     u should think what should ya do to make things right
    Im mean..christ tain't there a way?
     
    or... is that what fears you most?
  • Re: Dealing with Emotions
     Reply #15 - January 21, 2012, 08:02 AM
    Umm....what?  wacko
    Life is what happens to you while you're staring at your smartphone.

    Eternal Sunshine of the Religionless Mind
  • Re: Dealing with Emotions
     Reply #16 - January 21, 2012, 08:14 AM
    we can be haunted by things that we know inside needs to be fixed. sometimes the ghosts live deep in ourselves but we dont recognize them. aye, we just bury them deep and try to pretend theys no there but they live in there and eat away at ya till nothing is left f you let them there not
     knowing it come from within can be the scariest of all. What Im saying; lass, look to find your fix  deep within yourself and then act on it outward. Be courageous beyond your known sense and cause chain reactions that tear down the wall of gloom
  • Re: Dealing with Emotions
     Reply #17 - January 21, 2012, 08:16 AM
    Well...thanks, I guess.

    Welcome to the forum. Why don't you introduce yourself in the Introductions area?
    Life is what happens to you while you're staring at your smartphone.

    Eternal Sunshine of the Religionless Mind
  • Re: Dealing with Emotions
     Reply #18 - January 21, 2012, 08:26 AM
    well, Im just an ole bluster and often have nothing much to say. especially with the young here. I just come to read sometimes to see the state of tomorrow as your group and a few others I visit can be like reading next years newspapers. I see a vision of the future. sometimes it enlightes me, sometimes it brings me sadness.
     thats all.
  • Re: Dealing with Emotions
     Reply #19 - January 21, 2012, 08:36 AM
    I see. Well, good day, I'm off to bed.
    Life is what happens to you while you're staring at your smartphone.

    Eternal Sunshine of the Religionless Mind
  • Re: Dealing with Emotions
     Reply #20 - January 21, 2012, 09:28 AM
    "Permit nothing to cleave to you that is not your own; nothing to grow to you that may give you agony when it is torn away."

    "Get rid of the judgement, get rid of the 'I am hurt,' you are rid of the hurt itself."

    Man is not disturbed by things,but by views he takes of them

    When you wake up in the morning, tell yourself: The people I deal with today will be meddling, ungrateful, arrogant, dishonest, jealous, and surly. They are like this because they can't tell good from evil. But I have seen the beauty of good, and the ugliness of evil, and have recognized that the wrongdoer has a nature related to my own—not of the same blood or birth, but the same mind, and possessing a share of the divine

    I hope you may find this interesting


    "I'm standing here like an asshole holding my Charles Dickens"

    "No theory,No ready made system,no book that has ever been written to save the world. i cleave to no system.."-Bakunin
  • Re: Dealing with Emotions
     Reply #21 - January 21, 2012, 11:07 AM
    Hey Andromeda, I think with everything you had to go through this year, and your past as a child, you are bound to get to a stage right now whereyou FEEL everything, especially if you had to repress it all as you were dealing with it.  To be honest you repression of the things you are facing is visible in your posts since you don't talk about your feelings much in regards to being kicked out, the sadness, the other things your mum made you feel when she rejected you like that.

    So I'm with Clarap, let yourself FEEL now.  You're down, roll with it, you'd be surprised at how often you can roll right on to a better feeling in the morning, and A morning that comes.

    Sadness doesn't last forever, and although you are extremely afraid of the choices you have to make soon and the road you have to step out on to, you will make it to the other side and as long as you allow yourslf to feel as it happens, you can manage. You're strong, you're just feeling the effects of the shit you had to cope with so young.

    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Dealing with Emotions
     Reply #22 - January 21, 2012, 03:38 PM
    What clarap and berbs said about allowing yourself to FEEL +1000000000


    far away hug
    When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.
    Helen Keller
  • Re: Dealing with Emotions
     Reply #23 - January 21, 2012, 03:45 PM
    .
  • Re: Dealing with Emotions
     Reply #24 - January 21, 2012, 06:21 PM
    zaiba.. you will miss out on a helluva lot of awesome life
    by doing that.  Yes, feelings can hurt like hell, but there
    are times when you allow yourself to fee that make life
    worth living! 

    That goes for you too, Andromeda
    When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.
    Helen Keller
  • Re: Dealing with Emotions
     Reply #25 - January 21, 2012, 06:52 PM
    .
  • Re: Dealing with Emotions
     Reply #26 - January 21, 2012, 06:58 PM
     far away hug
    Life is what happens to you while you're staring at your smartphone.

    Eternal Sunshine of the Religionless Mind
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