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Theme Changer

 Poll

  • Question: answer poll
  • I often find myself attracted to/crushing on people
  • not often but yea, sometimes I do
  • No, very rarely if ever do I feel attracted to someone
  • No, and if I do its only because they were attracted to me first

 Topic: Do you find yourself attracted to people? (relationship/sex/lust etc)

 (Read 7165 times)
  • 12 Next page « Previous thread | Next thread »
  • Do you find yourself attracted to people? (relationship/sex/lust etc)
     OP - June 30, 2012, 09:43 AM
    I don't.  Very rarely if ever do I find myself attracted to someone unless they have shown serious signs of being attracted to me first.  Maybe once or twice in my life I have fancied someone who didn't fancy me, but it was a feeling soon squished until I chuckled at its memory.

    I mean my first crush was hilarious.  I didn't even know the guy, didn't even like the way he looked, wasn't even in to boys really (14) and it happened without me ever even thinking about this person.  I was walking in the school corrider, this guy walked past me and I felt dizzy, legs were shaking, heart was racing, etc etc.  I hadn't even noticed him, and then everytime I walked past him the same thing would happen.

    I quickly turned the other direction whenever I started to see him after.  I am sure it was some weird chemical reaction as I wasn't actually even interested in him, but my body would react differently than how my head thought.

    anyway I conquered that reaction and quickly didn't give a shit about the guy anymore.

    I generally do this if I have even the slightest inkling, leaning or anything when it comes to guys.  I just don't allow myself to feel attracted to people.

    when I have been with someone it is because they have put in an inordinate amount of time pursuing me and convincing me to feel attracted to them.  I hate this since that shit is hard to squish.  I actually resent the waste of my time to be honest.  attraction feels like a waste of time to me.

    I guess for me it's very simple, I don't feel attracted to people since I am pretty positive they won't feel the same in return, so it is a waste of time for me to even consider feeling it.  of course time and effort can alleviate this somewhat, but to the only end, which is a waste of time too.  It's all just such a waste of time.

    Although I am tired of living this way, in which life mirrors a dating site, you see me, you show attraction, and then I consider, rather than seeing for myself and choosing for myself, its a lame waiting game instead.  and yet I know this is unlikely to change about me since I have so many insecurities.  so yea, waste of time, waste of energy etc etc.

    My friends even comment on how little I ever say "oh wow, he's hot, I like him" in comparison to them.  They routinely pursue men who they just liked, for me, I wouldn't ever ever pursue someone since its a waste of time. Grin

    anyway where do you sit?  totally fucked up?  healthy balance?  looking for a robot since its easier?

    is anyone else finding they never take this choice into their own hands? 

    women especially, do you only choose out of a pool of people choosing you?
    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Do you find yourself attracted to people? (relationship/sex/lust etc)
     Reply #1 - June 30, 2012, 09:57 AM
    Where's the poll answer for "Only attracted to many tentacled sex robots"?  grin12
    Quote from: yeezevee on February 11, 2016, 02:05 PM
    how fuck works without shit??


    Let's Play Chess!

    harakaat, friend, RIP
  • Re: Do you find yourself attracted to people? (relationship/sex/lust etc)
     Reply #2 - June 30, 2012, 09:59 AM
    It's in that other thread, on that japanese forum about tentacle sex.

    Remember?  that place where we first met?  on that thread where you posted that video of you and that octopus?   lipsrsealed

    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Do you find yourself attracted to people? (relationship/sex/lust etc)
     Reply #3 - June 30, 2012, 10:07 AM
    In all seriousness, I think the mentality you've expressed in the OP, especially the quoted section, is leading you to think your way out of perfectly normal and useful feelings of attraction that could lead to positive relationships.

    Quote from: BerberElla on June 30, 2012, 09:43 AM
    I guess for me it's very simple, I don't feel attracted to people since I am pretty positive they won't feel the same in return, so it is a waste of time for me to even consider feeling it.  of course time and effort can alleviate this somewhat, but to the only end, which is a waste of time too.  It's all just such a waste of time.

    Quote from: yeezevee on February 11, 2016, 02:05 PM
    how fuck works without shit??


    Let's Play Chess!

    harakaat, friend, RIP
  • Re: Do you find yourself attracted to people? (relationship/sex/lust etc)
     Reply #4 - June 30, 2012, 10:07 AM
     Cheesy

    Can't say I'm normally attracted to people. I have high standards in those regards. However, when fishing for potential mates, I just go with the flow. If they are easy to converse with, seem interesting, are academic, ambitious and I can readily flirt then I'll see how it goes from there.

    But that's just speculation. I'm in a long term relationship so I have no idea any more what I would be like any more. I think my OH had it easy though, he met me before I started to develop my current mindset. I think now I'd be a lot less tolerant of people and less willing to open up.
    ~My story~
    ~Collection of unethical hadiths/surahs~
  • Re: Do you find yourself attracted to people? (relationship/sex/lust etc)
     Reply #5 - June 30, 2012, 10:14 AM
    Regardless of the existence/absence of long-term relationships, how can you stop yourself from a feeling of attraction to someone? I mean, at least as far as an immediate, visceral feeling of attraction goes I'm pretty sure that kind of thing is subconsciously controlled and not something we can exert too much influence over, or maybe that's just me.  wacko
    Quote from: yeezevee on February 11, 2016, 02:05 PM
    how fuck works without shit??


    Let's Play Chess!

    harakaat, friend, RIP
  • Re: Do you find yourself attracted to people? (relationship/sex/lust etc)
     Reply #6 - June 30, 2012, 10:15 AM
    Quote from: asbie on June 30, 2012, 10:07 AM
    In all seriousness, I think the mentality you've expressed in the OP, especially the quoted section, is leading you to think your way out of perfectly normal and useful feelings of attraction that could lead to positive relationships.



    The thing is is I'm not feeling it at all, there is no chance to think myself out of a thought that isn't actually happening.

    I became this way as a teenager.  Now its just so much a part of me, I don't actually crush on anyone just like that.

    At least then i could say that I was thinking my way out of it and have something I could see to work on.  as it stands it would be like trying to make myself a different person just to feel it, I wouldn't even know how or indeed if I could change that.

    These thoughts are so much a part of me that I don't even see them when they are happening.  :/

    I'm hoping this turns out to be somewhat normal on the part of women who answer so that I don't feel as abnormal as my friends are all making me feel now that this has become their cause.  banghead

    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Do you find yourself attracted to people? (relationship/sex/lust etc)
     Reply #7 - June 30, 2012, 10:18 AM
    Quote from: PeruvianSkies on June 30, 2012, 10:07 AM
    Cheesy

    Can't say I'm normally attracted to people. I have high standards in those regards. However, when fishing for potential mates, I just go with the flow. If they are easy to converse with, seem interesting, are academic, ambitious and I can readily flirt then I'll see how it goes from there.

    But that's just speculation. I'm in a long term relationship so I have no idea any more what I would be like any more. I think my OH had it easy though, he met me before I started to develop my current mindset. I think now I'd be a lot less tolerant of people and less willing to open up.


    when you say see how it goes, do you mean see if they reciprocate?

    I'm guessing the easy flirtation is also a clue you use to see if they feel the same way, and THEN you see how it goes.

    What if there was no flirtation, have you ever just fancied someone and sought them out to see if there was ready flirtation or was your interest in them something that occured after testing this?
    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Do you find yourself attracted to people? (relationship/sex/lust etc)
     Reply #8 - June 30, 2012, 10:21 AM
    Quote from: asbie on June 30, 2012, 10:14 AM
    Regardless of the existence/absence of long-term relationships, how can you stop yourself from a feeling of attraction to someone? I mean, at least as far as an immediate, visceral feeling of attraction goes I'm pretty sure that kind of thing is subconsciously controlled and not something we can exert too much influence over, or maybe that's just me.  wacko


    Like I said, its not happening.

    Then again, I don't actually look at people much when I am out.  I don't check out guys.  My eyes don't really see.  Guess it would be hard to have any kind of response if you have managed to blot the world out.

    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Do you find yourself attracted to people? (relationship/sex/lust etc)
     Reply #9 - June 30, 2012, 10:32 AM
    Fair enough Berbs.  Smiley
    Quote from: yeezevee on February 11, 2016, 02:05 PM
    how fuck works without shit??


    Let's Play Chess!

    harakaat, friend, RIP
  • Re: Do you find yourself attracted to people? (relationship/sex/lust etc)
     Reply #10 - June 30, 2012, 10:35 AM
    I'm same as you Berbs in that I'd only ever be attracted to someone who found me attractive too, and as I've been married since I was 18 it's not something I would pursue anyway unless they were very special indeed and we'd developed a rapport as friends first.   yes

    The only time I recall being attracted to someone first and pursuing them they turned out to be gay and nothing came of it. I was mortified.  Grin
    "The greatest general is not the one who can take the most cities or spill the most blood. The greatest general is the one who can take Heaven and Earth without waging the battle." ~ Sun Tzu

  • Re: Do you find yourself attracted to people? (relationship/sex/lust etc)
     Reply #11 - June 30, 2012, 10:36 AM
    Personally, I never really think about my feelings of attraction towards someone. Sometimes it happens and it's fine. In any case I never act on this feeling irl (unless you count fantasizing and having a wank afterwards Cheesy), because I'm about as awkward as a square tire.
    Quote from: yeezevee on February 11, 2016, 02:05 PM
    how fuck works without shit??


    Let's Play Chess!

    harakaat, friend, RIP
  • Re: Do you find yourself attracted to people? (relationship/sex/lust etc)
     Reply #12 - June 30, 2012, 10:39 AM
    Quote from: Maya on June 30, 2012, 10:35 AM
    The only time I recall being attracted to someone first and pursuing them they turned out to be gay and nothing came of it. I was mortified.  Grin


    What, that you ended up turning them gay?  Cheesy
    Quote from: yeezevee on February 11, 2016, 02:05 PM
    how fuck works without shit??


    Let's Play Chess!

    harakaat, friend, RIP
  • Re: Do you find yourself attracted to people? (relationship/sex/lust etc)
     Reply #13 - June 30, 2012, 10:43 AM
    Quote from: asbie on June 30, 2012, 10:14 AM
    Regardless of the existence/absence of long-term relationships, how can you stop yourself from a feeling of attraction to someone? I mean, at least as far as an immediate, visceral feeling of attraction goes I'm pretty sure that kind of thing is subconsciously controlled and not something we can exert too much influence over, or maybe that's just me.  wacko

    I don't stop feelings of attraction. I'm just saying they rarely happen. Rarely happened before I got into a relationship. I don't normally feel attracted from just looks, I need to get to know a person which isn't something that comes easily for me.
    ~My story~
    ~Collection of unethical hadiths/surahs~
  • Re: Do you find yourself attracted to people? (relationship/sex/lust etc)
     Reply #14 - June 30, 2012, 10:45 AM
    Quote from: asbie on June 30, 2012, 10:39 AM
    What, that you ended up turning them gay?  Cheesy


     Cheesy   LOL,  that I'd made such a mistake and not realised it beforehand.  Cheesy
    "The greatest general is not the one who can take the most cities or spill the most blood. The greatest general is the one who can take Heaven and Earth without waging the battle." ~ Sun Tzu

  • Re: Do you find yourself attracted to people? (relationship/sex/lust etc)
     Reply #15 - June 30, 2012, 10:57 AM
    Quote from: BerberElla on June 30, 2012, 10:18 AM
    when you say see how it goes, do you mean see if they reciprocate?

    I'm guessing the easy flirtation is also a clue you use to see if they feel the same way, and THEN you see how it goes.



    Well usually when I flirt, it's because they've already made me feel at ease with them that I feel I can talk to them like that. But I also like flirt without even realising it (as has been pointed out by many friends) so it doesn't necessarily mean I'm interested. If I can talk to them easily enough, and I feel like I can 'connect' with them without it ever being awkward then I probably could try and take it a step further.

    I'm funny with people. With most people, I cannot ever talk to or connect with them at all. Some people, I can talk to easily enough but I can only stand to be around them for so long before I get tired of the socialising. With very few people do I feel like I can talk for hours, completely at ease. Moments of silence don't bother me, those happen and it's no big deal. I actually feel comfortable enough that I can trust them to show up if we arrange a date to meet up.

    That's how I make friends, and probably how I would do dating if I was ever in that situation again. I have very few friends though, so I can imagine meeting someone I like enough to date would be rather bloody difficult!

    Quote
    What if there was no flirtation, have you ever just fancied someone and sought them out to see if there was ready flirtation or was your interest in them something that occured after testing this?

    It's never happened so cant say.
    ~My story~
    ~Collection of unethical hadiths/surahs~
  • Re: Do you find yourself attracted to people? (relationship/sex/lust etc)
     Reply #16 - June 30, 2012, 10:59 AM
    Quote from: Maya on June 30, 2012, 10:45 AM
    Cheesy   LOL,  that I'd made such a mistake and not realised it beforehand.  Cheesy


    I like my theory more.

    It involves an epiphany about one's sexual orientation, which I think we can agree is a beautiful thing.  Afro
    Quote from: yeezevee on February 11, 2016, 02:05 PM
    how fuck works without shit??


    Let's Play Chess!

    harakaat, friend, RIP
  • Re: Do you find yourself attracted to people? (relationship/sex/lust etc)
     Reply #17 - June 30, 2012, 11:04 AM
    Quote from: BerberElla on June 30, 2012, 10:15 AM

    These thoughts are so much a part of me that I don't even see them when they are happening.  :/

    I'm hoping this turns out to be somewhat normal on the part of women who answer so that I don't feel as abnormal as my friends are all making me feel now that this has become their cause.  banghead

    I wouldn't call it abnormal. I think you'd be surprised at the amount of women like you. Society does suppress the views of anyone not considered as part of the 'norm'.
    ~My story~
    ~Collection of unethical hadiths/surahs~
  • Re: Do you find yourself attracted to people? (relationship/sex/lust etc)
     Reply #18 - June 30, 2012, 11:58 AM

    I sometimes worry about the indiscriminate, unrefined nature of my attraction-antenna
    "we can smell traitors and country haters"


    Quote from: arX on May 01, 2011, 03:33 AM
    God is Love.
    Love is Blind. Stevie Wonder is blind. Therefore, Stevie Wonder is God.

  • Re: Do you find yourself attracted to people? (relationship/sex/lust etc)
     Reply #19 - June 30, 2012, 01:28 PM
    I'm lustful towards bot, no option for that, so I'll choose rarely
  • Re: Do you find yourself attracted to people? (relationship/sex/lust etc)
     Reply #20 - June 30, 2012, 03:14 PM
    Usually, i show interest only if the girl shows interest in me IRL, there are ways i can tell if she is interested in me which gives me the cue to approach her since girls around here cant approach guys that they find attractive and i think it takes a strong courage for one to do so which it can be appealing to my psyche mostly because its rare. Although there are times that i pursue one that im attracted to without her showing an interest in me but most of the times i find it a waste of energy and time to do so which proves to be discouraging for me so its only once in a while that happens.

    Another thing is that i can easily lose my interest in a girl (even if she is physically attractive) if i cant find anything in common to share or something to talk about that would make us comfortable and secure enough with each other. I guess thats a mistake that a cousin of mine and other girl made when they thought their physical qualities is enough to make me lose myself and be hopelessly in love with them,not knowing that its only a temporary thing. I need something more that can stimulate my mind or maybe i have lost my ability to connect with one.
    "I'm standing here like an asshole holding my Charles Dickens"

    "No theory,No ready made system,no book that has ever been written to save the world. i cleave to no system.."-Bakunin
  • Re: Do you find yourself attracted to people? (relationship/sex/lust etc)
     Reply #21 - July 01, 2012, 05:24 AM
    Quote from: BerberElla on June 30, 2012, 10:21 AM
    Like I said, its not happening.

    Then again, I don't actually look at people much when I am out.  I don't check out guys.  My eyes don't really see.  Guess it would be hard to have any kind of response if you have managed to blot the world out.

    I have crushes all the time and I literally never check anybody out. If anything, I look at girls cuz we're prettier Tongue

    But my cousin has apparently never had a crush, and she's like 18 or something, so I guess it's possible for some people?? :S     
    Self ban for Ramadan (THAT RHYMES)

    Expect me to come back a Muslim. Cool Tongue j/k we'll see..
  • Re: Do you find yourself attracted to people? (relationship/sex/lust etc)
     Reply #22 - July 01, 2012, 05:30 AM
    .
    You need to read this book.
  • Re: Do you find yourself attracted to people? (relationship/sex/lust etc)
     Reply #23 - July 01, 2012, 06:14 AM
    ^ I'm not gay. Girls are just more interesting than guys. Guys all look the same, and most of them behave the same too. But when you see a girl you think, "Oh what nice shoes!" or "Oh her hair is nice! I wonder what shampoo she uses" or "Oh her face is so symmetrical!".

    And I KNOW!!! Sol and my cousin are both like, mind boggling. Tongue

    @thread,

    Actually Berbs, I think it's cool that you start liking someone AFTER they like you. Cuz in my case, whenever I've found out that someone likes me (through like friends or whatever), then I immediately stop talking to them and start hating them. :/ Cuz I feel awkward then and it's all their fault. Or cuz they have low standards, I guess Cheesy
    Self ban for Ramadan (THAT RHYMES)

    Expect me to come back a Muslim. Cool Tongue j/k we'll see..
  • Re: Do you find yourself attracted to people? (relationship/sex/lust etc)
     Reply #24 - July 01, 2012, 08:35 AM
    Quote from: Godot on July 01, 2012, 05:30 AM
    (Clicky for piccy!)


    Why you posting homophobic cartoons here? That shit's not on, man.
    Quote from: yeezevee on February 11, 2016, 02:05 PM
    how fuck works without shit??


    Let's Play Chess!

    harakaat, friend, RIP
  • Re: Do you find yourself attracted to people? (relationship/sex/lust etc)
     Reply #25 - July 01, 2012, 09:18 AM
    Never mind
    "I'm standing here like an asshole holding my Charles Dickens"

    "No theory,No ready made system,no book that has ever been written to save the world. i cleave to no system.."-Bakunin
  • Re: Do you find yourself attracted to people? (relationship/sex/lust etc)
     Reply #26 - July 01, 2012, 11:45 AM
    Quote from: chepea on July 01, 2012, 05:24 AM
    But my cousin has apparently never had a crush, and she's like 18 or something, so I guess it's possible for some people?? :S     

    I didn't have my first crush until I was 18! Unless crushing on Sharukh Khan counts, which I guess it doesn't...
    ~My story~
    ~Collection of unethical hadiths/surahs~
  • Re: Do you find yourself attracted to people? (relationship/sex/lust etc)
     Reply #27 - July 01, 2012, 02:47 PM
    Haiii, ShahRukh, I have a man crush on him.
    <mchawking>: there's a 9 inch one coming out next month and I wish I had money
  • Re: Do you find yourself attracted to people? (relationship/sex/lust etc)
     Reply #28 - July 01, 2012, 03:07 PM
    Very rarely I've only ever been seriously attracted to girl/women twice in my life. Once it was when I was about 13/14 I was seriously attracted to this woman (mid 20s) we used to play football in a courtyard near her house, and I hated football I'd only go just to check her out because at about 12pm she would come out and go into her husbands car he would take her to work or something or where ever she went.  

    She was really sexy (Desi too) and I used to really like watching her, I knew she was unattainable due to age gap, but that still didn't stop me from imagining some thing romantic might happen. LOL.

    The second time was the first time I really fell in love, i got this girls name tattooed on my arm, its still there. I was about 19 when this happened, I basically went pretty damn mental for her, she was a 3rd cousin and she was from Pakistan too, it was the first time I thought I can marry this girl. I remember once, I went to her house... Wait... I think I might have a full story about this, I think I've written about her somewhere in my dairy.

    Here it is: http://www.councilofexmuslims.com/index.php?PHPSESSID=c4f18d8f599b6193bb7aa20817aeaf41&topic=5148.msg354310#msg354310

    So now ya know why Tut never falls in love with women anymore: fuck 'em, I don't cuff 'em.  Cry
    Left the forum: http://www.councilofexmuslims.com/index.php?topic=22997
  • Re: Do you find yourself attracted to people? (relationship/sex/lust etc)
     Reply #29 - July 01, 2012, 03:15 PM
    .
    You need to read this book.
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