Hi there,
As silly as this is going to sound, this is a brave step that I've taken seeing that I'm Agnostic and this still feel partially sinful.
![Tongue](https://www.councilofexmuslims.com/Smileys/custom/tongue.gif)
Anyways, my name is Nisha, 24 and though I'm not from the UK, I have always found myself visiting this site and watching videos from cembadmin on youtube to sort out my thoughts on how I really feel about Islam. So here I am.
So here is my story. I was born into a Muslim family but never really been a practicing Muslim until 2007, when my family decided to call a Mullah to come over to our place regularly to teach us reciting the Quran and how to pray. So I had to go with the flow and pray. The thing is, I felt like I fully believed at that point of time. I was pretty much close to being a fanatic without the headscarf(I love my hair way too much...not anymore though). However, two years later, I started questioning if I really do believe in a God. But recently, my doubts got worst. I can't imagine a God putting us in hell for ETERNITY. Whenever I tried asking any believer to justify this, they will tell me along the lines of "Have you seen how big this universe is? Hence you're insignificant and God can do anything he wants to you" or "Allah knows best".
So that's about it for now. Can't wait to start sharing my thoughts on here soon. Really wish to clear some doubts, especially in terms of the contradictions in the Quran because seriously, why would God sound more like a bitter person that an All-Merciful Being?
Take care and bye!