What was the driving factor (if any) that pushed all of you away from the Masjid? Anyone care to start? As a women, I know for me it was the utter frustration at he LACK of accommodations made to women and children. Nothing made me more pissed than watching mothers with infant carriers and strollers having to fumble their way up a huge flight of stairs in order to get to the prayer space. Having to watch elderly women do the same thing was down right infuriating. And once they actually MADE it there, it was usually hot and overcrowded and positioned in a way where you had no chance to see the minbar and had to rely on the crappy audio system to work well enough to hear anything.
This is a spot-on description of my masjid in the states. Narrow, steep staircase, not much space or seating, completely closed off from the rest of the masjid with no view, not even a window, and a crappy audio system. Not to mention the washroom was small and cramped, not convenient at all for wudu, and almost always in disrepair.
One thing I hated was how the women's area was the dumping ground for children. We all became babysitters just by virtue of being there, and I couldn't stand the constant noise of the children. Many times, men would bring their young boys with them and if they got out of hand, they would just send them upstairs even if their mother wasn't there! And it was extremely annoying when the men would stand at the bottom of the stairs and shout up to their wives when they needed to talk.
At functions such as Eid or aqiqas, the men's accommodations always took priority over the women's. This included chairs, tables, dishes/silverware, even food. Several of the women would acknowledge that we always have to hope we get enough of the men's leftovers to feed everyone
Another thing, and probably the most pertinent to this thread, is that I never really felt like I belonged there as a Muslim, nor did I even feel welcome unless there was a gathering. The masjid was near my university and I lived out of town, and I decided once that I would like to pray fajr at the masjid on my way to class. There is a hadith that talks about the reward of praying fajr in congregation followed by remembering allah until the sun rises, and I felt with my busy student schedule it would give me much needed meditation time to feel closer to allah. So one morning I showed up for fajr only to find the door to the women's section locked, and I had to find someone to unlock it. Beyond that it was a nice enough morning. I technically prayed in congregation, but I was alone upstairs. Then I read Qur'an until I had to leave for my class. Felt good. Later that day I talked to my friend whose husband had been there for fajr, and he noticed my car in the parking lot. I learned I had been basically laughed at for being there. Silly woman, why would she want to be at the masjid for fajr? I didn't go back.
Praying in congregation for women is discouraged, apparently -- according to some schools of thought in Islam.
Yes, this is a widely held standard. While men get the most reward from praying in congregation at the masjid, it is the opposite for women. Women get the most reward from praying at home, where they "belong". There is a hadith about it that basically says, the closer to their private space the better: praying at home is better than in public, and praying in the bedroom is better than in the living room.
Topic: UnMosqued, The Movie.