Greetings from Turkey

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- maarri
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Greetings from Turkey
OP - April 08, 2013, 01:42 PM

Hello folks,

I grow up in a very conservative Sunni family. My faith crisis longed for years. I became an apostate than a muslim. Apostate again, muslim again... Apostate, muslim, apostate, muslim... It was like an on again, off again relationship. I tried so hard to recover my faith. I tried to embrace modern interpretations of Islam(Such as Neo-Mutazili which does not contain death penalty for apostasy, for blasphemy, stoning to death, creationism. You can do this only by denying many of the hadiths of course.) But it was pointless. I live with my family, i don't have economical
independency unfortunately. I'm afraid tell my parents that i'm agnostic. It's not because they're going to use violence, thank God they're not that crazy. But like i said before i'm not earning enough money to live on my own. They can disown me... On the other hand, they might never gonna talk to me again. I don't wanna leave them because of this stupid faith, and i don't wanna hurt them by telling their only son will be rotten in hell for eternity. I'm tired to be a munafiq.

Plus, i left Islam but i'm always pessimistic about life. I was pessimistic when i was a muslim too but at least i was praying and telling my problems to the imaginary dictator. I know i don't need religion to be happy but I don't know how to be happy without religion. Any advice?

By the way criticising Islam is still a big taboo in Turkey. It's not like other Islamic countries of course. But weird punishments are going on. Turkish composer Fazil Say charged for blasphemy for a ridicilous tweet. Turkish atheistic web sites are always banning by the government. May Allah protect us from sharia.

Sorry but I just saw you have Advice Corner in the forum. Moderator can move this thread to that section.
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Greetings from Turkey
Reply #1 - April 08, 2013, 01:55 PM

Hello Maari, and welcome.

Sorry to hear about your problems, but you're not alone
- Stardust
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Reply #2 - April 08, 2013, 02:13 PM

Hi. Sorry to hear about your situation. My experience of overcoming this depression related to leaving religion was by really *living* my life; engaging with the world more rather than being stuck in my own mind. I suppose it's a way of distracting yourself, but really it's engaging in the world more and less in your bubbled mind where you analyse things negatively endlessly.

"Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom." - Viktor E. Frankl

'Life is just the extreme expression of complex chemistry' - Neil deGrasse Tyson
- schizo
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Greetings from Turkey
Reply #3 - April 08, 2013, 02:20 PM

Quote from: maarri on April 08, 2013, 01:42 PM
Hello folks,

I grow up in a very conservative Sunni family. My faith crisis longed for years. I became an apostate than a muslim. Apostate again, muslim again... Apostate, muslim, apostate, muslim... It was like an on again, off again relationship. I tried so hard to recover my faith. I tried to embrace modern interpretations of Islam(Such as Neo-Mutazili which does not contain death penalty for apostasy, for blasphemy, stoning to death, creationism. You can do this only denying many of the hadiths of course.) But it was pointless. I live with my family, i don't have economical
independency unfortunately. I'm afraid tell my parents that i'm agnostic. It's not because they're going to use violence, thank God they're not that crazy. But like i said before i'm not earning enough money to live on my own. They can disown me... On the other hand, they might never gonna talk to me again. I don't wanna leave them because of this stupid faith, and i don't wanna hurt them by telling their only son will be rotten in hell for eternity. I'm tired to seen as a munafiq.

Plus, i left Islam but i'm always pessimistic about life. I was pessimistic when i was a muslim too but at least i was praying and telling my problems to the imaginary dictator. I know i don't need religion to be happy but I don't know how to be happy without religion. Any advice?

By the way criticising Islam is still a big taboo in Turkey. It's not like other Islamic countries of course. But weird punishments are going on. Turkish composer Fazil Say charged for blasphemy for a ridicilous tweet. Turkish atheistic web sites are always banning by the government. May Allah protect us from sharia.

Sorry but I just saw you have Advice Corner in the forum. Moderator can move this thread to that section.

What are your views on the Turkish centre for religious affairs? They seem to be more lenient compared to islamic institutions in other islamic countries.
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Reply #4 - April 08, 2013, 02:38 PM

Quote from: schizo
What are your views on the Turkish centre for religious affairs? They seem to be more lenient compared to islamic institutions in other islamic countries.

You mean the community of Fethullah Gulen? Well their belief is not diverged from mainstream Sunni position. They're not reformist i mean. They support sharia in the end but they're not interested in just establishing sharia and caliphate immediately. (Taqiyya is on board of course) They've got a lot of schools around the world, their main problem is converting people to Islam by just conveying the message. They're very effective in Turkey's justice system.(If you dare to criticise Islam or the community you have to deal with them). Fethullah Gulen once said "I hate the Usama Bin Laden" most. They condemn all the Islamic terrorist activities. They hate theory of evolution.

I wish we had a council of ex-muslims in Turkey. It's too hard to establish and sustain one.
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Reply #5 - April 08, 2013, 02:39 PM

Hos Geldin forumda kardes
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Reply #6 - April 08, 2013, 04:29 PM

Quote from: maarri on April 08, 2013, 02:38 PM
You mean the community of Fethullah Gulen? Well their belief is not diverged from mainstream Sunni position. They're not reformist i mean. They support sharia in the end but they're not interested in just establishing sharia and caliphate immediately. (Taqiyya is on board of course) They've got a lot of schools around the world, their main problem is converting people to Islam by just conveying the message. They're very effective in Turkey's justice system.(If you dare to criticise Islam or the community you have to deal with them). Fethullah Gulen once said "I hate the Usama Bin Laden" most. They condemn all the Islamic terrorist activities. They hate theory of evolution.

I wish we had a council of ex-muslims in Turkey. It's too hard to establish and sustain one.

Actually I was talking about the diyanet isleri baskanligi.
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Reply #7 - April 08, 2013, 04:36 PM

I remember reading an article on their website sanctioning against the death penalty for murtads. Or was it the ilahiyet fakultesi. i have no idea...
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Reply #8 - April 08, 2013, 05:40 PM

Quote from: schizo on April 08, 2013, 04:29 PM
Actually I was talking about the diyanet isleri baskanligi. I remember reading an article on their website sanctioning against the death penalty for murtads. Or was it the ilahiyet fakultesi. i have no idea...

Well people graduated from faculty of teology(ilahiyat fakültesi) are full of reformists. There are too many examples.(Yaşar Nuri Öztürk, Ali Rıza Demircan, Şahin Filiz, Abdülaziz Bayındır, Hayrettin Karaman etc) Condemning death penalty for apostasy is not surprising for them. Presidency of Religious Affairs(diyanet işleri başkanlığı) act like there are only hanafi muslims in Turkey. Thank God there is no death penalty for apostasy, but ironically there is a long page about punishment for apostasy through history of Islam on the web page of PRA. They wrote the hadiths and said nothing about it. It's ridiculous.
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Reply #9 - April 08, 2013, 07:38 PM

Care to link me? Should make for interesting reading. Thanks.
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Greetings from Turkey
Reply #10 - April 08, 2013, 08:55 PM

I will try giving you advice on how to stay happy, even though this matter is entirely subjective.

First and foremost, you just have to be grateful for the sort of position you are in. Think about it. A Muslim has to live through his/her entire life under the eyes of an imaginary dictator who cares about which hand you wipe your ass with, or which position you have sex with. You have to monitor each and every thought that enters your brain, and make sure that the thought does not provoke you to do something un-Islamic. Worst of all, in order to have pure taqwa and fear of Allah, you need to implant in your brain the horrible images of torture you may face in hell if you don't stick to your imaan. A religion fueled by anxiety and fear.

Now, look at yourself. You are now free to think. You are now free to make moral decisions based upon reason, rather than authoritative and unquestionable ideas. You are now free to live your life as you please, without the illusion of a God waiting to eternally torture you. Best of all, you are now free to do good deeds for the sake of doing good deeds. Not for an eternal reward.
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Reply #11 - April 08, 2013, 10:13 PM

Welcome at the forum.
Even though I normally don't post on this forum, I felt compelled to write a short message, as I can totally relate to your situation.
I myself am a Turk born and raised in Europe. In some sense our situation ("gurbetci" Turkish people who no longer believe) is even grimmer than yours. We, the European Turkish people, are generally more religious. In fact, I was very much surprised to see many people in Istanbul drinking and eating freely during the Ramadan period, which happened to be my first Ramadan I was in Turkey.
I am also from a pretty conservative part of Turkey, and I have no idea how I can carry this my lifelong. Therefore, I'd be more than happy to have a private conversation with you, please feel free to PM me.
----
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Anlasilan ayni durumdan muzdaribiz. Bana ozel mesaj atarsan rahatca konusuruz.
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Greetings from Turkey
Reply #12 - April 09, 2013, 12:13 AM

Hello =D

I don't know if I've already asked this, but did Turkey suddenly ban alcohol on its flights? It's just weird because Emirates serves it.

Quote
i don't need religion to be happy but I don't know how to be happy without religion. Any advice?

I feel empty without it and try to fill the space with other stuff. Some stuff that felt good included taking off my hijab and trying some non halal foods and drinks. It was liberating to try it with no guilt, but doesn't fill those gaps. Right now I'm seeing a counsellor. Do you have access to that? It really helps to have a person to talk to now and then.
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- maarri
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Greetings from Turkey
Reply #13 - April 09, 2013, 06:42 AM

Quote from: Jila
Hello =D

I don't know if I've already asked this, but did Turkey suddenly ban alcohol on its flights? It's just weird because Emirates serves it.

Quote
i don't need religion to be happy but I don't know how to be happy without religion. Any advice?

I feel empty without it and try to fill the space with other stuff. Some stuff that felt good included taking off my hijab and trying some non halal foods and drinks. It was liberating to try it with no guilt, but doesn't fill those gaps. Right now I'm seeing a counsellor. Do you have access to that? It really helps to have a person to talk to now and then.

I didnt fly in years so i have no idea about banning alcohol in flights. But i heard new Turkish airlines costumes will be like this.

Good bye to miniskirts I'm seeing a psychiatrist for a year. I can't say it helped me.
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Reply #14 - April 19, 2013, 03:52 AM

^ is that for real? Merhaba, I'm Turkish too but my parents are from the Balkans so I don't keep up with the news in Turkiye that much. I live in Amerika and like the feeling of being anonymous when I work in the city. I have that pessimism too with family and feel so angry at them for basically making me live a lie. They are still living in it. I feel so offended when the men and women tell me to cover my hair or I'll burn for instance.

Quote
We, the European Turkish people, are generally more religious.

esp. those relatives in Europe. The things they post on facebook. :

Quote
Well people graduated from faculty of teology(ilahiyat fakültesi) are full of reformists.

I like reading that, keep those reformists coming!

"In every religion there is love, yet love has no religion"

"The intellectual runs away, afraid of drowning; the whole business of love is to drown in the sea." - Rumi
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Reply #15 - April 19, 2013, 01:00 PM

The Turkish muslim contingent doesn't take the Ilahiyat Fakultesi seriously. I'm almost certain they're in the backpocket of the erdoğan and AKP government. Fuck them if that's the case, causing unnecessary harm in the long run by propagating hippielam. Waiting for OP to send me some articles pertaining to the topic as I am dreadfully out of touch with religious initiatives in Turkey.
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