Most people like sex, I like sex. It's not "news" to me, and that's not the problem. I was sexually frigid up until a couple of years ago when I "dealt" with it (on my own, in a "non-conventional" way..whatever), and luckily don't have that problem anymore. I've left the ideas about "purity" where they belong, in the trash bin. The thing is, muslims try to potray every other non-muslim male as unfaithful and disloyal. Which quite frankly frightens me since this is what I learnt from my mother that ALL men are. This unability to trust men have, I think, been the reason I've never been able to fall in love.
I don't even know what I want to discuss, but these things really bothers me especially since a lot of people have made me think that a person cannot love me or like me for who I am, rather men are just interested in one thing. I know that's probably not a normal thing to believe or think.
I war with myself over the same thing. 1 - because of a shitty uninvolved and physically abusive father, and husband, and 2 - because of bad experiences absent islam, and 3 - because most guys I know talk cheap about women they are dating. I had to outright ban my brother and tell him none of his friends could come into my house until they started referring to the women they are seeing respectfully.
Of course that's most, and whilst you could attribute my bro to the islamic background, none of his friends were or are, yet they speak just as disgustingly as he did.
I'm older now, so I am mostly invisible, which means I further get to listen into guys in uni, cafes, pubs, and clubs, being all macho as they receive a text from someone they are seeing, and talk trash about this 'sket' or that 'gash', that they are hooking up with tonight.
I also am watching my son's navigate the bullshit, and trying to retain their masculinity, by changing from the more open boys they once were.
Still though most is just most, it's not all. Not all men fall victim to the role they are expected to enact. Some men naturally don't feel at home in that false bravado, and imposed emotional solitude that masculinity tries to foist on to them.
That's why the war remains in my head. A war between what my emotional pain and life long experience has shown me, and what some male friends have shown me, is not the case.
Mostly though, it's the emotional side that wins out.
It's a depressing war.
Some guys who have been stung before, also struggle with as I have male friends questioning whether all women are callous cheaters.
It's not just Islam, girls with non Islamic backgrounds, and boys, the question doesn't discriminate because for many people experience begins to confirm stereotypes and solidifies them.
The trick is, so I hear anyway, to recognise that there is no, all men are this, or all women are that, because there is no black and white male or female, there are just people. Good ones, shit ones, in betweeners. No line clearly dividing the 2.
Making set lines means condemning people who don't fit a box, into deviants, and knowing that helps me deal with the warring question.
Topic: misconception about men