Wow. I am almost LITERALLY in the same place. I'm also 16 (almost 17), from northern England, and while I'm not sure if I can call myself an "ex-muslim" (though I'm slowly getting closer to maybe admitting this to myself at some point), I'm having a hard time with expressing this. Only one close friend of mine knows about this as he is also in the same boat. However, I was born and raised in a Muslim Pakistani household and while my parents are not strict on the religion, I could still never even go as far as hinting my discontent at the religion. 'God' know what would happen.
In fact, recently (around 15 minutes ago), I thought I'd confide in my brother by telling him I've been reading the english translation of the Quran, but once I told him that there are some things I don't agree on (I needed to get this off my chest), he said, "I don't want to say this, but you sounded like an Atheist. Don't only pick out the bad things and you want to make sure dad doesn't find out." While he wasn't harsh about it and we continued talking about whatever else afterwards, I'm glad I told him this even if it was a little bit because now I know for certain that I can't tell anyone this.
My parents aren't harsh. I'm mostly able to do as I please; cut my hair, dye it, I exclusively wear 'Western' clothes, listen to music, go out with friends or to the theatre etc. They do sometimes ask when I'm going to start praying or randomly suggest I do so, but that topic isn't brought up too much and I understand that they feel it is their duty to remind me, so this isn't too much of a problem either. There are things my father says that I don't agree with, some to do with religion and some with culture but after getting very angry, I calm down after a while and ignore it. I'm used to it. But other than that, I guess compared to most families around where I live, my family are
relatively easy-going.
Much like OP, I also went to a high school where Islam was pretty much the main religion, along with the city I live in. RE classes were always awkward for me even though I identified as a Muslim at that time. I think this is why I started questioning everything. Why did I feel so alienated with Islam each time we were taught about it?
I finished my first year in college just 2 months ago and college was a lot more open. It's very diverse so there are students with different beliefs and I am comfortable in sharing that I am not a religious person if the topic ever arose but I do still feel a huge sense of guilt and pain about thinking of leaving the religion 100%. I'll never tell any family member, specifically not my parents. I really don't want to cause my mother any pain which I know she'll feel if I ever came out. It's better just pretending, but pretending is becoming a bigger burden than when I actually believed in the religion. My best friend is a believer and I know if I ever told her, we'd perhaps remain as close as we are but I don't think I could bear her questions: "Are you sure?" "Why don't you believe?" "Allah said....", and I wouldn't be angry at her for saying whatever she'd say but I don't want to insult her or her religion by giving reasons on not believing it. While I'm not a big fan of Islam, or any other religion for that matter, the people I know are good people so I have nothing against them.
I don't know what decision OP will make/has made, but I know I will never come out and tell my parents this. I just can't help but feel very conflicted about all this, especially during Ramadan- a 'holy month'.
I'm kind of thinking I'm feeling this terrible because maybe, just maybe, there is a God and he is unhappy about this. But i need to remember that I was not at my happiest while believing and hopefully this confusion and guilt is attributed to betraying my parents and nothing to do with the religion itself.
I hope all turns out well for those also feeling this way.
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Topic: I am a 16 year old from England, and I am an Ex-muslim.