Islam empowered me! women/ slavery/ concubines
OP - July 24, 2014, 05:25 PM
Ramadan Kareem,
I would like to begin by thanking this site. I stumbled across this site on my own spiritual journey and this site has cemented my faith in Islam. I haven’t written on a forum in years...we’re talking at the very least a decade. I was intrigued to read stories and learn of why you had become an apostate.
I now want you to read why I submitted to Islam and through this discussion, the misconceptions shall be addressed. The order in which this discussion shall follow is:
- Who I am
- My rights as a Muslimah ( education, money, inheritance)
- Slavery/ concubines
- Deficient in intelligence
- Disclaimer
My parents are of Pakistani decent. I grew up in a home where the foundations of Islam were in place. My father is a comical genius and observes the 5 pillars of Islam. My mum strongly believes in Islam and has done her best to instil in us those virtues. We came in the order of 3 girls and 1 boy. There was no favouritism, instead my parents nurtured our individual personalities to be the best we could be. The professions in my family generally are humanitarian ones which mainly are teaching and medicine. We’re a close knit family. Never has ‘culture’ disseminated our ideologies or been at the forefront of life. In all honesty, I don’t even own a shawar kameez (asian clothes)... never been my thing. I have completed my post graduate education from University College London and have had publications. Whilst studying my undergraduate degree, I had a strong urge to learn Arabic to understand the Quran so I was fortunate to spend a year in Egypt learning Fusha Arabic. It has helped me understand the complexities of language. I still to this day have not found a book so beautiful in form and meaning. I have also been fortunate to travel to over 30 counties before I’m 30! That should be a thread in itself. I have always been in love with religion and submission to it has meant my life has gone from strength to strength alhamduillah. I excelled prior to marriage and I’m married to a man who I would do anything for. I love him where there is no limit and thank Allah swt everyday for giving me my soul mate. According to most people, we’re fortunate to live in the leafy suburbs, have good jobs, holiday twice a year, drive our dream car and be surrounded by love. These are blessings from Allah swt alhamduillah. God has given me a lot and I try to do the best I can to give back in all walks of life.
My way of life refutes this picture you have painted of Muslim women. This idea I am oppressed. I am empowered and try to live by the 5 pillars of Islam. My life is anything but how you have depicted the norm for Muslim women. This leads to my second point.
Women’s right
Prior to advent of Islam, it was the norm for families to bury their daughters as they saw them as a liability. Islam abhorred this practice and banned pagan Arabs from doing such an odious sin. Islam speaks of the blessings of raising daughters:
"Whoever has three daughters or sisters, or two daughters of two sisters, and lives along with them in a good manner, and has patience with them, and fears Allah with regard to them will enter Paradise." (Reported by Abu Dawud, Al-Tirmidhee and others)
And in another Hadith: "They will be a shield for him from the Fire." (Reported by Ahmad and Ibn Maajah)
And along with the Messenger’s(saw) honoring the daughters with his words, we find that he also gave us a living example in his own actions and behavior - for example,
"One day he (s.a.w) led his Companions in Prayer whilst carrying Umaamah bint Zaynab(ra) when he made rukoo’ he would put her down, then when he stood, he would pick her up." (Reported by Al-Bukhari and Muslim)
If you look at Islam you will see that Khadijah RA was a renowned business woman and Aisha RA is accountable for more hadiths on Islam than anyone else, a leading scholar for Muslims. She was more learned than most renowned scholars of today. These strong role models only affirm what the Quran says that education is compulsory on all mankind, yes that includes female. I’m sorry culture has dictated to you otherwise. I am educated and in a profession where I am blessed to continuously be learning. My academic pursuits have been encouraged by all the Muslims around me.
Money – Islam gives me the right to keep my own money. Anything I earn is mine. I am not expected to give my money to my husband. He is not accountable for what I do with it. I can choose to spend on the house, others, myself, zakaat, bills, holidays etc it’s my prerogative as it was Khadija’s. Islam is prescriptive and has made expectations clear. I embrace it. I have the ‘choice’ to do what I want with my money.
Oh no bring out the sexist card now. Let’s look at logic here. I am a strong woman, inshAllah at points in my life I will become a mother where my priority will be my child. I might not be fortunate to live in a place where there is extended maternity leave or I may want to spend an extended amount of time with my child...who knows. During that time, I will be dependent on my husband financially. I do not want to claim state benefits or go on welfare. I will expect him to have sole responsibility of the maintenance of myself and my child during those testing times.
It is when a baby arrives that even atheists whether you like it or not revert to traditional gender norms. Man being the provider and protector whereas a woman prepares for delivery, has a child, primarily nurtures and breast feeds the child. Yes, even Kim Kardashian took extended leave from the spotlight to be a mum o_O. I am a professional and it is only through work where I appreciated the freedom Islam had given me with regard to money. I work because I want to not because I have to. My money is mine to do what I want with it. I am surrounded by women who avoid getting pregnant or have aborted the child primarily due to finances. As a colleague said to me, ‘I can’t afford to get pregnant as how will my partner manage the mortgage repayments without my salary...and even child care after that.’ My response was simple, ‘you should have lived within his means from the get go’. I love knowing that if I get pregnant I will be looked after inshAllah.
I get to keep my money and as a ‘female’ get a share of the inheritance? Despite male relatives being accountable for the upkeep of women, I get wealth for myself too? I’ll still have a male relative who has been left inheritance using his share to provide for my clothes, food a roof over my head and I will get my own share of inheritance too. It doesn’t get fairer than that. The beauty of Islam, it gives everyone including extended family a percentage and claim to inheritance too = )
I do not fight gender norms. I might work out but heck I know I can be easily overpowered by a man. Look at stats of rape and abuse to women and you will find a common denominator the perpetrator is generally a man. I’m a strong female but not a stupid one. I need a man to protect me. When I’m out late, I feel safe knowing there is a man by my side. I also feel safe knowing my husband is there with me when we’re travelling to remote destinations. My father and brother are there for my sisters supporting and protecting them in certain situations. Heck I guess it would be okay if I paid a bodyguard to do it as oppose to having a loved one look after me? O_O
I would be considered liberated if I had it all on show for the world to ogle, use celebrities as a bench mark to compare me against. But no, I am oppressed because I choose to cover myself and only want my husband to appreciate my feminine physique as oppose to everyone with eyes? I’m being selfish denying men the right to see me in all my glory. How selfish of me! Women are liberated hey?
My life contradicts how you have claimed women’s rights are for Muslim. I have the right to education, career, financial stability, protection, inheritance, love and yet you claim my religion states I have none? Islam has empowered me and has given me opportunity after opportunity alhamduillah. I cannot thank my Lord enough for the blessings. For me, praying and abstaining from immoral unsafe acts is an extremely small token of appreciation that I can show my Lord. I wish I could do more and inshAllah I will.
You chose to separate yourselves from Islam. You will have to suffer the wrath of it. Your mouths may lie but your heart’s regret and fear speaks otherwise.
Slavery
Since time immemorial, slavery was an accepted practice; thus it was not Islam that started this practice, but rather Islam was the first system to inculcate the freedom of slaves and take steps to make them equal citizens of society. Slavery was abolished in modern society only a couple of centuries ago, and was openly practiced in almost all parts of the civilized world even until the early 1900s. But Islam made it a virtue to free slaves, and inculcate them into society as equal citizens, almost 1500 years ago.
The Quran promoted the freeing of a slave. War is not a bed of roses, it is a place where massacres happen. You only need to look at the current situation in Gaza and Israel to see the atrocities. We do not live in a utopian state where war does not happen. Consider all the main world wars in history led by respected countries. How are prisoners of war treated across the globe? Forget war, how are enemies of a civilisation treated? Guantanamo Bay is a prime example of how alleged enemies to a civilisation are treated. Unfortunately, war was a reality of the prophet’s time as it has been a reality from the start of time till recent times and will continue to be. Islam is a way of life and if peace treaties are violated and war is declared then yes Muslims are instructed to fight back.
Islam did keep prisoners of war as slaves. There weren’t any prisons in place and I for one credit the prophet pbuh for not creating his own Guantanamo Bay torturing ground. Instead they were taken as slaves and assimilated into families. Now let’s consider how Israel would treat Palestinian victims of war. The thought sends shudders through your body right? How were slaves from the colonised period treated? Now let’s examine Islam’s treatment of slaves:
Islam Your servants and your slaves are your brothers. Anyone who has slaves should give them from what he eats and wears. He should not charge them with work beyond their capabilities. If you must set them to hard work, in any case I advise you to help them.
Source: Bukhari, Iman, 22; Adab, 44; Muslim, Iman, 38–40; Abu Dawud, Adab, 124
• Jabir ibn 'Abdullah said, "The Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, advised that slaves should be well-treated. He said, 'Feed them from what you eat and clothe them from what you wear. Do not punish what Allah has created.' "
Source: Al-Adab al-Mufrad Al-Bukhari , Nr. 188.
• Sallam ibn 'Amr reported from one of the Companions of the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "Your slaves are your brothers, so treat him well. Ask for their help in what is too much for you and help them in what is too much for them."
Source: Al-Adab al-Mufrad Al-Bukhari , Nr. 190.
• Abu Hurayra reported that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "The slave has his food and clothing. Do not burden a slave with work which he is incapable of doing."
Oh wait, so the enemy of a civilisation is treated as a brother? Furthermore, slaves had their own rights. The overall goal of Islam was to abolish slavery that had become an ingrained part of the Arabs way of life prior to Islam. Islam’s instructions to mankind was to abolish slavery by emancipating them as the Quran states,
Righteousness is not turning your faces towards the east or the west. Righteous are those who believe in God, the Last Day, the angels, the scripture, and the prophets; and they give the money, cheerfully, to the relatives, the orphans, the needy, the traveller, the beggars, and to free the slaves... [2:177]
The charities are to go to the poor, and the needy, and those who work to collect them, and those whose hearts have been united, and to free the slaves, and those in debt, and in the cause of God, and the traveller. A duty from God, and God is Knowledgeable, Wise. [9:60]
Concubines:
Genghis Khan is a prime example of a man who had no regard for prisoners of war where he promoted the massacre and rampant raping of millions.
Let’s explore how females are treated during war scenarios. They’re gang raped by soldiers, often their loved ones including children are killed in front of them, they’re left with their protectors dead. They are left homeless, open to attack by others and forced into a life of poverty, prostitution, crime to survive or to aid the survival of their children.
It is a fact that women from war were taken as concubines. The men could not gang/ rape them and/or abandon them. Female prisoners of war were brought back to the state, they had a waiting period, then distributed among households. Only one male, their owner could have sex with them. The concubines were made members of a home and treated like a wife. The children of the concubine had the same rights as a legitimate child. They were given the same provisions. Islam promoted the emancipation of slaves and /or the marriage to them.
A concubines sustainer would have to feed her, clothe her, provide housing for her and take care of the children. Islam did not advocate to gang rape them, leave them in dire poverty open to further attacks.
Yes, Allah swt recognised that the women probably would not want to have sex with their sustainer and hence the verse was revealed.
"And let those who do not find the means to marry keep chaste until Allah makes them free from want out of His grace. And (as for) those who ask for a writing from among those whom your right hands possess, give them the writing if you know any good in them, and give them of the wealth of Allah which He has given you; and do not compel your slave girls to prostitution, when they desire to keep chaste, in order to seek the frail good of this world's life; and whoever compels them, then surely after their compulsion Allah is Forgiving, Merciful. (The Noble Quran, 24:33)"
We clearly see that if the slave woman desires to keep chaste, then her Muslim master must not compel her into sex with himself. It might sound odd to us today, but pagans back then were used to having sex with and raping their slave girls.
Islam’s ultimate aim was to emancipate slaves. It also aimed to give them as much protection and rights as it could despite them being part of civilisation that were an enemy. I look at the asymmetry treatment of victims of war by other civilisations and am left open mouthed at the mercy shown in Islam. I mean look at the situation in Palestine right now? They’ve a blockade on them, the death toll is rising, border gates are closed to them, they are expected to die...children have been reported as being primarily killed in this war. Where is the justice? I see super powers backing Israel’s need to defend itself...ughh getting off plot now but if you make a like for like comparison at how the modern world deals with victims of war/ slavery during colonial times and how Islam instructed the treatment to be, you’d know Islam has been humane.
Regarding females being deficient in intelligence
NHS site is my source, a research conducted by University of Oxford and Cambridge researchers = all non Muslims.
Findings
“Men really do have bigger brains,” reports the Daily Mail, going on to report that new research reveals “male and female brains are wired differently” with particularly big differences in the areas that control language and emotion.
It is well established that males and females have different predispositions towards developing different mental health conditions. For example, conditions such as autism spectrum disorder and dyslexia are more common in men, while depression and anxiety are more common in women. New research has pooled the results of 126 studies examining the differences in brain size between men and women to see if structural differences are part of the explanation.
It found that on average men had larger overall brain volumes than women. They also found differences between men and women in the volume of many different regions. These included regions previously associated with different mental health conditions. For example, men tended to have larger volumes in brain regions associated with survival instincts, memory and learning, while women tended to have larger volumes in areas of the brain dealing with language and emotions.
copy and paste to find web link to it as it states I'm not allowed to post links.
Disclaimer
I advise people to read Dr Zakir Naik’s responses to science and Quran, it is in line with modern science. I read your views and voiced mine. I know that we will not be friends. You have declared yourself murtuds and I declare myself a Muslim. The Quran surahs that often are taken out of context that deal with fighting, you will see once you research context that they are fair and just. I hope I have got you pondering over Islam again. Do research extensively from reliable sources on areas that you have limited knowledge on.
I pray that Allah swt provides you all your wishes in this world and takes mercy on you in the afterlife.
Any believer who comes onto this site feels the darkness and decadence. It has definitely cemented my faith in Allah swt and increased my faith, for that thank you. I feel something I have never felt before- a strong yearning to leave. I will not be logging back to this site. I have made my points and have nothing further to say.
Peace to all
Asalamu alaykom.
Topic: Islam empowered me! women/ slavery/ concubines