panic attack in class

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- justperusing
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panic attack in class
OP - September 05, 2014, 11:52 PM

Hey I just had a panic attack in class as a result of my deconversion(in my case, Christianity). I know you guys are ex-Muslims rather than ex-Christians, but I have visited this site frequently and I think you guys would understand what I am going through.

I go to a Christian college because I was a Christian when I started college, but have been unable to transfer since becoming an atheist. I have had to go to mandatory chapels and take classes which have tried to show the "need" for God and Christianity. Needless to say, I have not been convinced by any of it.

The problem is, being in a completely Christian environment, I can not get religion and the ridiculous ideas of religion out of my head. I think a big part of the deconversion process is to slowly spend less time thinking about religious things(as opposed to thinking about it all the time to debunk it). In other words, I think to feel comfortable as an atheist you need to just "let it go" and not spend so much time convincing others that their religion is false or unwarranted.

I am in an environment where I am constantly having to hear religious things so I can't get it out of my mind. I spend a lot of time researching religion to show how false it is and to counteract the Christian apologetics that I have to endure. So I think about religion a lot and no matter how many things I research and intellectually know that Christianity, Islam, and other religions are overwhelmingly likely to be false, I always have a nagging thought in my mind of "what if I'm wrong?" In a way, the more I research and spend time debunking religion, the more it has a hold on me. I want to just move on to other things, but it is so difficult when I am surrounded by religious messages that I feel threatened by.

So back to my panic attack. This morning I had heard a lecture by my intro to Christian doctrine professor who was lecturing on how you need a God to provide a moral framework, so I had spent an hour or so in between classes thinking about why he was wrong and looking up videos on YT about it. Then I had choir class and I started thinking about it while I was singing and all of a sudden I started panicking! Not because I thought the professor had provided any sort of intellectual challenge, but just spending that much time thinking about religion and the consequences of me being wrong got me panicking! Also, I was thinking very existentialist thoughts which when I am emotionally vulnerable, completely freak me out!

Any advice guys? I think I really need to stop thinking about religion so much and get on a good exercise program to cut down my anxiety. I wish I had atheist friends IRL that I could turn to for support, but I feel so alone surrounded by Christians who would never understand me.

"I moreover believe that any religion that has anything in it that shocks the mind of a child, cannot be a true system."
-Thomas Paine
- Qtian
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Reply #1 - September 06, 2014, 12:14 AM

Honestly dude, just take a break from constantly studying religion and whatnot.

In the past I've burnt myself out several times in that manner... most notably during a pakistani "nikah" where we all had to pray whilst the imam recited some bullshit. Btw, I have anger issues so if I can manage to control my anxiety/rage I'm sure that you can.
I know that it's hard to adopt an apathetic approach when you have to operate under a daily framework which is antithetical to your views. Treat your time in this Christian environment as a learning experience- try to soak in their arguments so that you can better understand their cognition. You just have to grit your teeth and get through it. I do recommend that you find some hobbies, exercise is always a great one. Personally, I find my punch bag to be very therapeutic when I'm in need of a break.

There is plenty of brain taxing stuff which doesn't involve theology. Maybe try learning a new language or skill so that your thoughts aren't centered around one topic.

If you want to continue with studying religion, I recommend that you begin reading the Philosophy of religion. You may be surprised to know that some of the better critiques of arguments in favour of God actually come from Christians.
Here is one example: http://spot.colorado.edu/~morristo/wes2craig1.pdf

However, these are just things that work(ed) for me, they may or may not help you. To start with, I strongly suggest that you take a hiatus and dissociate from heavy contemplation about theism and find something else to do.
Also, taking a break from the internet in general (except for work related purposes) has always helped me.

My mind runs, I can never catch it even if I get a head start.
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Reply #2 - September 06, 2014, 12:30 AM

Thanks man. Yeah I've been trying to get myself to just calm down and stop being so obsessive so it is a nice boost to hear other people say as such. I just kinda need to break the cycle and get interested in other stuff.

I just wish I had someone to talk to around me that understood me. Everyone seems to be Christians who are quite solid in their faith, although I am sure there is someone else at my college who has just as many doubts as I do.

The panic attack was really embarrassing. I had to leave class without giving a reason other than "I'm not feeling well"

"I moreover believe that any religion that has anything in it that shocks the mind of a child, cannot be a true system."
-Thomas Paine
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Reply #3 - September 06, 2014, 12:34 AM

Quote from: justperusing on September 05, 2014, 11:52 PM
I think a big part of the deconversion process is to slowly spend less time thinking about religious things(as opposed to thinking about it all the time to debunk it).

This.

My mind runs, I can never catch it even if I get a head start.
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Reply #4 - September 06, 2014, 12:43 AM

No problem &

Quote from: justperusing on September 06, 2014, 12:30 AM
The panic attack was really embarrassing. I had to leave class without giving a reason other than "I'm not feeling well"

Not to worry, it will blow over.
Leaving the classroom due to not feeling well was not a lie.

My mind runs, I can never catch it even if I get a head start.
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Reply #5 - September 06, 2014, 02:11 AM

Thanks for the support! I don't know how I'd survive Christian college without online help from people like you. Christians think they're persecuted but its like the freakin lions den for an atheist at my college.

"I moreover believe that any religion that has anything in it that shocks the mind of a child, cannot be a true system."
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Reply #6 - September 06, 2014, 02:49 AM

How to lower your heart rate immediately, and halt the panic:

Take a short breath through your nose, with mouth closed.
Hold your breath to a count of four.
Exhale completely.
Hold the empty for a count of four.
Repeat, multiple times.

Limiting oxygen like this lowers your heart rate, which prevents your body from spiking your adrenaline up there and dumping those fight or flight chemicals on you.

Works like magic. The other good news is that you cannot have another for six to eight hours. Physically impossible.

Don't let Hitler have the street.
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Reply #7 - September 06, 2014, 03:19 AM

Appreciate the advice

"I moreover believe that any religion that has anything in it that shocks the mind of a child, cannot be a true system."
-Thomas Paine
- jrg
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Reply #8 - September 06, 2014, 11:14 AM

justperusing, I understand where you're coming from with the religion overload. Whilst I'm not in such an intense environment as you, the life I've built for myself over the past year means I'm surrounded by Muslims. It's difficult to switch off from Islam and Muslim thinking /mindset. But I know it's what I need to do. And sounds like you do too.

I don't have much to add to what Qtian said as he's summed up pretty well, what I was thinking whilst reading your post. I do find that listening to music helps to distract from the subconscious and habitual religious talk that goes on in my head. Also getting outside, walking, breathing fresh country (not polluted city) air helps. Even if it's a park or something in an otherwise urban area - getting away from buildings and traffic helps.

Hope you stick around. It's the variety of people on this forum that makes it such a great place to be. Have a parrot
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Reply #9 - September 06, 2014, 01:55 PM

I think you have a good idea of what you need to do. Avoid the topic of religion, don't debate or challenge others about it. Try getting into personally enriching activities like exercise. You'll feel more confident and hopefully this hold of religion on your life can start to fade.

Quote from: yeezevee on February 11, 2016, 02:05 PM
how fuck works without shit??

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harakaat, friend, RIP
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Reply #10 - September 06, 2014, 07:17 PM

Thanks guys although @jrg I have introduced myself and posted a few times already. But I can always add another parrot to the collection

"I moreover believe that any religion that has anything in it that shocks the mind of a child, cannot be a true system."
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Reply #11 - September 06, 2014, 07:29 PM

Not sure if Marlene Winnell might help once you have had nothing to do with religion for a while

http://journeyfree.org/rts/

When you are a Bear of Very Little Brain, and you Think of Things, you find sometimes that a Thing which seemed very Thingish inside you is quite different when it gets out into the open and has other people looking at it.

A.A. Milne,

"We cannot slaughter each other out of the human impasse"
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Reply #12 - September 06, 2014, 07:32 PM

Perhaps that's the second parrot I've given you then! Not been fully awake today... and you can never have too many parrots. As long as they don't start talking at once
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Reply #13 - November 08, 2014, 06:00 AM

I just got back from a choir concert that I was performing in on stage where I had a bad anxiety attack and had to leave the stage. I am setting up an appointment with a psychologist as soon as possible because this is still not going away. I have realized that I have hardcore rumination where you get caught in a pattern of thinking like a broken record. This is a symptom of a certain kind of ocd which is beginning to explain a lot about phases I have had in my life.

The problems I am dealing with will probably need to be handled by a professional, but any advice or words of support I would love to hear from you guys. I am just going through a rough time and I don't have a whole lot of friends at my school due to it being hard to maintain relationships while I'm dealing with this. I would be particularly interested in hearing from anyone who has similar obsessive thoughts that are hard to control.

"I moreover believe that any religion that has anything in it that shocks the mind of a child, cannot be a true system."
-Thomas Paine
- musivore
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Reply #14 - November 08, 2014, 01:02 PM

Really sorry to hear this. I think you're an ace, lovely and funny guy. If I was where you are now, I'd have been honoured to have been your friend. We'd laugh at the crazy Christians together, and work together at trying to corrupt one or two of the lovely Christian girls.

Hi
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Reply #15 - November 08, 2014, 01:29 PM

Quote from: justperusing on November 08, 2014, 06:00 AM
I just got back from a choir concert that I was performing in on stage where I had a bad anxiety attack and had to leave the stage. I am setting up an appointment with a psychologist as soon as possible because this is still not going away. I have realized that I have hardcore rumination where you get caught in a pattern of thinking like a broken record. This is a symptom of a certain kind of ocd which is beginning to explain a lot about phases I have had in my life.

The problems I am dealing with will probably need to be handled by a professional, but any advice or words of support I would love to hear from you guys. I am just going through a rough time and I don't have a whole lot of friends at my school due to it being hard to maintain relationships while I'm dealing with this. I would be particularly interested in hearing from anyone who has similar obsessive thoughts that are hard to control.

I have a lot of experience with panic attacks. Some obsessive thoughts, too, but not unreasonable ones. Often obsessive thought is a chemical issue in the brain that needs some correction through medication.
I hope you make an appointment sooner rather than later, it helps to see someone take you seriously when you describe the symptoms. The validation always mattered to me.
When dealing with panic attacks I first learned how to stop them physically by lowering my heart rate through breathing, and then I got on a beta blocker so my adrenaline could not kick in and give me the full attack. It helped a lot.
I am so sorry you are experiencing this. But I am glad you are open to getting professional help! You can always PM me if you need to talk.

Don't let Hitler have the street.
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Reply #16 - November 08, 2014, 08:04 PM

Quote from: musivore on November 08, 2014, 01:02 PM
Really sorry to hear this. I think you're an ace, lovely and funny guy. If I was where you are now, I'd have been honoured to have been your friend. We'd laugh at the crazy Christians together, and work together at trying to corrupt one or two of the lovely Christian girls.

Thanks buddy! We could go around macking on the girls and become known as the Heathen Heartbreakers.

And thanks three! I'd agree it probably is a chemical imbalance because the feelings and thoughts just come out of nowhere and it is hard to work myself out of it. The thing is, I no longer am even that worked up about religion or the original things that started me down this path. I think my adrenal system just got used to constantly being on high alert at all times that I am dealing with the ramifications now.

"I moreover believe that any religion that has anything in it that shocks the mind of a child, cannot be a true system."
-Thomas Paine
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Reply #17 - November 08, 2014, 08:11 PM

Although I said I'm mainly over with worrying about religion in the last post I think it definitely played into the panic attack I had last night. I was in a giant church forced to sing Christian songs about how great God is and stuff for like 30 minutes. Since my music scholarship is one of the main reasons I can afford being at college, I still am singing it up in the gospel choir which is required to keep the scholarship. You guys would probably get a kick out of seeing me gettin my gospel on knowing where I stand on Christianity

"I moreover believe that any religion that has anything in it that shocks the mind of a child, cannot be a true system."
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Reply #18 - December 08, 2014, 05:07 AM

Just an update for anyone who cares:

Got through a weekend of four choir performances in front of thousands of people (cumulatively) and managed to stick on stage throughout the whole show. Had a few anxious moments but I was so worried about getting through this weekend as my anxiety spikes big time when in front of a lot of people.

Feeling pretty good right now, just thought I'd share

"I moreover believe that any religion that has anything in it that shocks the mind of a child, cannot be a true system."
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Reply #19 - December 08, 2014, 01:09 PM

Hi justperusing,
Great to hear you're doing better! I didn't notice this thread before I joined. I'm an ex-Christian but didn't experience any anxiety moving on from Christianity. This is largely due to the fact that most of my friends and family aren't religious at all. However I recently had the exact same experience except mine was "what if Islam is true". I think this was due to the false dichotomy I created by absorbing so many anti-Islamic resources (many of which turned out to be exaggerated or false). Being stuck in a loop of thoughts and "what ifs" makes it impossible to apply any logic or reason. I'm still reading arguments from both sides and open to evidence but I'd consider myself an agnostic atheist. Academics perspectives on god really helps (especially philosophers IMO ) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s47ArcQL-XQ
Anyway good luck on your journey
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Reply #20 - December 09, 2014, 03:53 AM

Quote from: justperusing on December 08, 2014, 05:07 AM
Just an update for anyone who cares:

Got through a weekend of four choir performances in front of thousands of people (cumulatively) and managed to stick on stage throughout the whole show. Had a few anxious moments but I was so worried about getting through this weekend as my anxiety spikes big time when in front of a lot of people.

Feeling pretty good right now, just thought I'd share

Awesome! I bet knowing you are perfectly capable of this will be of a big help in the future. Your anxiety is NOT running your life, not at all. You are!

Don't let Hitler have the street.
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Reply #21 - December 09, 2014, 04:29 AM

Thanks for the kind words

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Reply #22 - December 09, 2014, 06:55 AM

Quote from: justperusing on December 08, 2014, 05:07 AM
Just an update for anyone who cares:

Got through a weekend of four choir performances in front of thousands of people (cumulatively) and managed to stick on stage throughout the whole show. Had a few anxious moments but I was so worried about getting through this weekend as my anxiety spikes big time when in front of a lot of people.

Feeling pretty good right now, just thought I'd share

That's great to hear! I'm really glad you're improving in that regard.

Quote from: yeezevee on February 11, 2016, 02:05 PM
how fuck works without shit??

Let's Play Chess!

harakaat, friend, RIP
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Reply #23 - December 09, 2014, 07:15 AM

What he said!
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