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Theme Changer

 Topic: The Off Topic Thread

 (Read 240601 times)
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  • Re: The Off Topic Thread
     Reply #1650 - February 23, 2009, 01:40 PM
    Just came across this-
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?gl=GB&hl=en-GB&v=NbwpgyRUv5g

    Cheesy That's so funny! Cheesy
    ~My story~
    ~Collection of unethical hadiths/surahs~
  • Re: The Off Topic Thread
     Reply #1651 - February 23, 2009, 02:14 PM
    I was not blessed with the ability to have blind faith. I cant beleive something just because someone says its true.
  • Re: The Off Topic Thread
     Reply #1652 - February 23, 2009, 02:26 PM
    That's just weird...
    ~My story~
    ~Collection of unethical hadiths/surahs~
  • Re: The Off Topic Thread
     Reply #1653 - February 23, 2009, 02:30 PM
    And this ?

    I was not blessed with the ability to have blind faith. I cant beleive something just because someone says its true.
  • Re: The Off Topic Thread
     Reply #1654 - February 23, 2009, 02:33 PM
    Cheesy I like that Tongue

    It reminds me of that woman who got a Chinese tattoo but learned that it meant something completely different to what she asked to be translated Cheesy
    ~My story~
    ~Collection of unethical hadiths/surahs~
  • Re: The Off Topic Thread
     Reply #1655 - February 23, 2009, 02:34 PM
    I LOL'D at this one

    I was not blessed with the ability to have blind faith. I cant beleive something just because someone says its true.
  • Re: The Off Topic Thread
     Reply #1656 - February 23, 2009, 02:37 PM

    Cheesy
    ~My story~
    ~Collection of unethical hadiths/surahs~
  • Re: The Off Topic Thread
     Reply #1657 - February 23, 2009, 02:37 PM
    Why men have two hands
    I was not blessed with the ability to have blind faith. I cant beleive something just because someone says its true.
  • Re: The Off Topic Thread
     Reply #1658 - February 23, 2009, 02:41 PM
    I was not blessed with the ability to have blind faith. I cant beleive something just because someone says its true.
  • Re: The Off Topic Thread
     Reply #1659 - February 23, 2009, 02:46 PM
    I was not blessed with the ability to have blind faith. I cant beleive something just because someone says its true.
  • Re: The Off Topic Thread
     Reply #1660 - February 23, 2009, 03:06 PM
    Existential angst - http://garfieldminusgarfield.net/ Tongue
    ~My story~
    ~Collection of unethical hadiths/surahs~
  • Re: The Off Topic Thread
     Reply #1661 - February 23, 2009, 03:14 PM
    Watch this http://s102.photobucket.com/albums/m100/Braindumped/?action=view&current=maurybabyjesus.flv
    I was not blessed with the ability to have blind faith. I cant beleive something just because someone says its true.
  • Re: The Off Topic Thread
     Reply #1662 - February 23, 2009, 03:20 PM
     Grin
    My Book     news002       
    My Blog  pccoffee
  • Re: The Off Topic Thread
     Reply #1663 - February 23, 2009, 03:23 PM
    http://media.photobucket.com/video/beauty/Howell_photo/beauty-brains.flv?o=
    I was not blessed with the ability to have blind faith. I cant beleive something just because someone says its true.
  • Re: The Off Topic Thread
     Reply #1664 - February 23, 2009, 03:27 PM
    http://thisiswhyyourefat.com/ Yummy (not)
    ~My story~
    ~Collection of unethical hadiths/surahs~
  • Re: The Off Topic Thread
     Reply #1665 - February 23, 2009, 03:39 PM
    Quote from: PeruvianSkies on February 23, 2009, 02:33 PM
    Cheesy I like that Tongue

    It reminds me of that woman who got a Chinese tattoo but learned that it meant something completely different to what she asked to be translated Cheesy

    I remember the case of the dyslexic tattooist who was asked by some girl to put her boyfriend's name on her arse. You'd think PAUL was easy, wouldn't you? Try PUAL.
    Not that she noticed it first, mind.
    Religion is ignorance giftwrapped in lyricism.
  • Re: The Off Topic Thread
     Reply #1666 - February 23, 2009, 03:41 PM
    Quote from: PeruvianSkies on February 23, 2009, 03:27 PM
    http://thisiswhyyourefat.com/ Yummy (not)


    I'm going to sound like a pig but that stuff looks amazing.

    I wish there were gourmet establishments for this kind of food. My favourite is the Gluttoner and I also like the look of that munchy box.

    And I have to settle with crappy donner meat and chips on my Saturday night.
    "I am ready to make my confession. I ask for no forgiveness father, for I have not sinned. I have only done what I needed to do to survive. I did not ask for the life that I was given, but it was given nonetheless-and with it, I did my best"
  • Re: The Off Topic Thread
     Reply #1667 - February 23, 2009, 03:42 PM
    Really? That site made me want to puke :\
    ~My story~
    ~Collection of unethical hadiths/surahs~
  • Re: The Off Topic Thread
     Reply #1668 - February 23, 2009, 03:45 PM
    Quote from: PeruvianSkies on February 23, 2009, 03:42 PM
    Really? That site made me want to puke :\


    I almost did
  • Re: The Off Topic Thread
     Reply #1669 - February 23, 2009, 03:47 PM
    Quote from: PeruvianSkies on February 23, 2009, 03:42 PM
    Really? That site made me want to puke :\


    I love fast foods of differant types and I love crappy American food.

    I probably like the look of that stuff because I have to eat the most disgusting shit some days, on account of not having a usable fecking kitchen.

    Oh well, such is life, dying early doesnt bother me much, I get to chill in heaven with Allah, Uzzat, Manat and Al-Lat. Oh, and Jesus, who Allah saved.
    "I am ready to make my confession. I ask for no forgiveness father, for I have not sinned. I have only done what I needed to do to survive. I did not ask for the life that I was given, but it was given nonetheless-and with it, I did my best"
  • Re: The Off Topic Thread
     Reply #1670 - February 23, 2009, 03:49 PM
    Quote from: FinallyFree on February 23, 2009, 03:47 PM
    Quote from: PeruvianSkies on February 23, 2009, 03:42 PM
    Really? That site made me want to puke :\


    I love fast foods of differant types and I love crappy American food.

    I probably like the look of that stuff because I have to eat the most disgusting shit some days, on account of not having a usable fecking kitchen.

    Oh well, such is life, dying early doesnt bother me much, I get to chill in heaven with Allah, Uzzat, Manat and Al-Lat. Oh, and Jesus, who Allah saved.

    :O You must repent you idolator and get back on the right path! Or Allah shall burn you in hell!

    On the bright side hell seems like a good place to have a barbecue. I'm sure that'll fit your junk food habits quite nicely Tongue
    ~My story~
    ~Collection of unethical hadiths/surahs~
  • Re: The Off Topic Thread
     Reply #1671 - February 23, 2009, 03:53 PM
    Quote from: PeruvianSkies on February 23, 2009, 03:49 PM
    Quote from: FinallyFree on February 23, 2009, 03:47 PM
    Quote from: PeruvianSkies on February 23, 2009, 03:42 PM
    Really? That site made me want to puke :\


    I love fast foods of differant types and I love crappy American food.

    I probably like the look of that stuff because I have to eat the most disgusting shit some days, on account of not having a usable fecking kitchen.

    Oh well, such is life, dying early doesnt bother me much, I get to chill in heaven with Allah, Uzzat, Manat and Al-Lat. Oh, and Jesus, who Allah saved.

    :O You must repent you idolator and get back on the right path! Or Allah shall burn you in hell!

    On the bright side hell seems like a good place to have a barbecue. I'm sure that'll fit your junk food habits quite nicely Tongue


    By my standards anything you can barbeque is not junk food.

    Anyway, it's not my fault someone forgot to put the extra verses in with the mention of Allah's wise and beautiful daughters, Allah has no son, but he's got three daughters.

    I don't think I'm going to hell either, it's my kind of place and it wouldn't be much of a punishment,  heaven on the other hand is a punishment and therefore the equally oppurtunity cruel God will put me in there just to torture me.

    "I am ready to make my confession. I ask for no forgiveness father, for I have not sinned. I have only done what I needed to do to survive. I did not ask for the life that I was given, but it was given nonetheless-and with it, I did my best"
  • Re: The Off Topic Thread
     Reply #1672 - February 23, 2009, 03:59 PM
    Cheesy Heaven sounds like a punishment to me too. I do not want to share my spouse with 72 other whores unless I get 72 male whores for myself Wink I don't want to be able to see through their bone marrow though, that's just gross!
    ~My story~
    ~Collection of unethical hadiths/surahs~
  • Re: The Off Topic Thread
     Reply #1673 - February 23, 2009, 04:04 PM
    Quote from: PeruvianSkies on February 23, 2009, 03:59 PM
    Cheesy Heaven sounds like a punishment to me too. I do not want to share my spouse with 72 other whores unless I get 72 male whores for myself Wink I don't want to be able to see through their bone marrow though, that's just gross!


    Same. There are more disgusting details about heaven but I would have to pull out some hadiths recorded in Al Tabarri and other mufasirs' works to justify that and I can't be arsed right now.

    The rivers of wine thing, disgusting. The rivers of milk thing, do they know how quickly milk goes off?

    Also, the thought of a threesome really disgusts me, but 72 ultra-white, 1 mile across, improportionally breasted and black eyed women, that makes even me throw up.

    I think we can all agree that the author of the Quran really messed up when he described heaven.
    "I am ready to make my confession. I ask for no forgiveness father, for I have not sinned. I have only done what I needed to do to survive. I did not ask for the life that I was given, but it was given nonetheless-and with it, I did my best"
  • Re: The Off Topic Thread
     Reply #1674 - February 23, 2009, 04:14 PM
    Quote from: FinallyFree on February 23, 2009, 04:04 PM
    Quote from: PeruvianSkies on February 23, 2009, 03:59 PM
    Cheesy Heaven sounds like a punishment to me too. I do not want to share my spouse with 72 other whores unless I get 72 male whores for myself Wink I don't want to be able to see through their bone marrow though, that's just gross!


    Same. There are more disgusting details about heaven but I would have to pull out some hadiths recorded in Al Tabarri and other mufasirs' works to justify that and I can't be arsed right now.

    The rivers of wine thing, disgusting. The rivers of milk thing, do they know how quickly milk goes off?

    Also, the thought of a threesome really disgusts me, but 72 ultra-white, 1 mile across, improportionally breasted and black eyed women, that makes even me throw up.

    I think we can all agree that the author of the Quran really messed up when he described heaven.

    1 mile across?! They would have to be quite obese in order to cover up the distance of 72 miles!

    What does Al-Tabari say? I'm not bothered about the actual hadith but just want to hear what he said.
    ~My story~
    ~Collection of unethical hadiths/surahs~
  • Re: The Off Topic Thread
     Reply #1675 - February 23, 2009, 04:23 PM
    I'm getting quite addicted to the Jesus and Mo comics, I think 'spoing' is my new favourite word to use in the face of religious irony Tongue

    ~My story~
    ~Collection of unethical hadiths/surahs~
  • Re: The Off Topic Thread
     Reply #1676 - February 23, 2009, 04:25 PM
    I was not blessed with the ability to have blind faith. I cant beleive something just because someone says its true.
  • Re: The Off Topic Thread
     Reply #1677 - February 23, 2009, 04:25 PM
    I was not blessed with the ability to have blind faith. I cant beleive something just because someone says its true.
  • Re: The Off Topic Thread
     Reply #1678 - February 23, 2009, 04:31 PM
    Norway's currently number 3 on the peace index. Loved those two though, will have to go check those up.
    ~My story~
    ~Collection of unethical hadiths/surahs~
  • Re: The Off Topic Thread
     Reply #1679 - February 23, 2009, 04:42 PM
    I had to read arabic (yuk) thanks to you. But I did it because I like your comments and your stories are cool.  Wink

    My mistake Peruvian Skies, I said it was found in the tafsir, but it was in Musnad Ahmad. The tafsir contains other juicy bits like when you have sex with houris god will make them virgins again and you can have sex with about 100 a day (thanks to super human strength).

    But here is the hadith:

    1) Musnad Ahmed Hadith #10511:
    "The Messenger of Allah may Allah bless him said that the lowest status of the person in Paradise has seven degrees and he is in the sixth one and above him is the seventh, and he has 300 servants, and every day 300 golden food trays served for him, in each tray a food color other than the other one and its delicious from its beginning till its end , and he says O Lord, if you authorize me to feed and give drinks to the people of Paradise it will not reduce from my food anything, and he has of the wives 72 Hours(Virgins) other than his earthy wives, and each Hour(Virgin) has a seat (place) of one earth mile."

    مسند أحمد
    قال رسول الله ‏ ‏صلى الله عليه وسلم ‏ ‏إن أدنى أهل الجنة منزلة إن له لسبع درجات وهو على السادسة وفوقه السابعة وإن له لثلاث مائة خادم ‏ ‏ويغدى عليه ويراح كل يوم ثلاث مائة صحفة ‏ ‏ولا أعلمه إلا قال ‏ ‏من ذهب في كل صحفة لون ليس في الأخرى وإنه ليلذ أوله كما يلذ آخره وإنه ليقول يا رب لو أذنت لي لأطعمت أهل الجنة وسقيتهم لم ينقص مما عندي شيء وإن له من الحور العين لاثنين وسبعين زوجة سوى أزواجه من الدنيا وإن الواحدة منهن ليأخذ مقعدها قدر ميل من الأرض ‏


    Musnad Ahmad is quite well recognised but not all Muslims recognise his collection. Anyway you get the picture....
    "I am ready to make my confession. I ask for no forgiveness father, for I have not sinned. I have only done what I needed to do to survive. I did not ask for the life that I was given, but it was given nonetheless-and with it, I did my best"
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