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Theme Changer

 Topic: I was reminded of my colour today

 (Read 5231 times)
  • 12 Next page « Previous thread | Next thread »
  • I was reminded of my colour today
     OP - October 03, 2014, 10:56 PM
    Before I start, I just want to say that I am not in denial about my origin. My parents are from Pakistan, and I have nothing against accepting that. If I'm honest, Pakistan has not given me too many reasons for me to be proud of it, but I think that is irrelevant to what I'm about to say.

    I forget what colour I am for long periods of time, sometimes for months. I honestly don't think it is important, and I see myself as I see others; I seem to look beyond skin and into the person. Fair enough, colour may register on a subconscious level, but it is completely irrelevant to the judgements I make about someone, the interactions I have with them, and the bonds that I form with them. And just as Martin Luther King dreamt would happen, I believe that there are many many people out there that look at people as I do. Which is why it pisses me off when I get rudely awoken from my idealistic cocoon by some idiot who wants to remind me that I'm not from these parts...Fuck off dude. I live here. I was born here. I know nothing else. I want to know nowhere else. I am an integral icing on England's beautiful landscape. Please keep your opinions to yourself in future?

    Hi
  • I was reminded of my colour today
     Reply #1 - October 03, 2014, 11:04 PM
     far away hug Musivore.

    You are a lovely person as far as I have seen.

  • I was reminded of my colour today
     Reply #2 - October 03, 2014, 11:06 PM
    I accept mine and everyone's skin colour. I accept people having different origins and nationalities.
    So where's the problem?
    Dumb people exist everywhere. Just ignore them  Smiley
  • I was reminded of my colour today
     Reply #3 - October 03, 2014, 11:06 PM
    Awww, thanks Lily. It was worth creating this thread just for that  Smiley  Smiley
    Hi
  • I was reminded of my colour today
     Reply #4 - October 03, 2014, 11:09 PM
    Quote from: INcePtion on October 03, 2014, 11:06 PM
    I accept mine and everyone's skin colour. I accept people having different origins and nationalities.
    So where's the problem?
    Dumb people exist everywhere. Just ignore them  Smiley

    I see what you are saying. I suppose I just look at life in a different way. It was a genuine shock to me for a second, to be reminded that I was different to this guy somehow.
    Hi
  • I was reminded of my colour today
     Reply #5 - October 04, 2014, 12:20 AM
    Yup, some people are fuckwits. If you can't shoot 'em, just point and laugh.
    Devious, treacherous, murderous, neanderthal, sub-human of the West. bunny
  • I was reminded of my colour today
     Reply #6 - October 04, 2014, 12:25 AM
    Going to elaborate on the story?
    `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
     `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad.  You're mad.'
     `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
     `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
  • I was reminded of my colour today
     Reply #7 - October 04, 2014, 12:30 AM
    Quote from: musivore on October 03, 2014, 10:56 PM
    Before I start, I just want to say that I am not in denial about my origin. My parents are from Pakistan, and I have nothing against accepting that. If I'm honest, Pakistan has not given me too many reasons for me to be proud of it, but I think that is irrelevant to what I'm about to say.

    I forget what colour I am for long periods of time, sometimes for months. I honestly don't think it is important, and I see myself as I see others; I seem to look beyond skin and into the person. Fair enough, colour may register on a subconscious level, but it is completely irrelevant to the judgements I make about someone, the interactions I have with them, and the bonds that I form with them. And just as Martin Luther King dreamt would happen, I believe that there are many many people out there that look at people as I do. Which is why it pisses me off when I get rudely awoken from my idealistic cocoon by some idiot who wants to remind me that I'm not from these parts...Fuck off dude. I live here. I was born here. I know nothing else. I want to know nowhere else. I am an integral icing on England's beautiful landscape. Please keep your opinions to yourself in future?




    What did this person say to you?
    "Befriend them not, Oh murtads, and give them neither parrot nor bunny."  - happymurtad's advice on trolls.
  • I was reminded of my colour today
     Reply #8 - October 04, 2014, 12:33 AM
    Quote from: musivore on October 03, 2014, 11:09 PM
    I see what you are saying. I suppose I just look at life in a different way. It was a genuine shock to me for a second, to be reminded that I was different to this guy somehow.

     

    I can only imagine it would be one thing to have someone ask about your background if you know them well and are friends with them, but it sounds like this was more or less from a stranger? That shouldn't at all be the first thing they notice about you, and, if something like your skin color for some reason makes someone imagine you must be a foreigner, it's not only silly, but it's totally disrespectful to mention it.

    I'm sorry to hear about it, musivore. far away hug As was already said, you're a lovely person, and ignore those sorts of people. There's a lot of them in the world, but I like to think they're becoming more and more rare.  
  • I was reminded of my colour today
     Reply #9 - October 04, 2014, 12:52 AM
    Aww thanks lovely lua  far away hug

    Cheetah and Quod:
    I was wearing my England football shirt. I walked past a group of guys and one asked me in passing why I was wearing it when I wasnt English....I've come back to my parent's segregated Northern mill town for Eid today, so this is not completely out of place here.

    Actually, it was just a bad day today in this sense. My son started school last month. Today, he asked me why I was brown. It was the first time I think he realised he looked different from everyone else. He went on to say that he is a Pakistani (we've never had this conversation, and I regret i didn't get in there first) and he wishes he wasn't brown. It was heartbreaking when he continued by saying that Amy at school would have liked him more if he had yellow skin like her (she is blond). Him and Amy had been really close, but she seems to have chucked him recently. Amy seems lovely, so I don't think all of this got into his head from her btw..

     Anyways, bad day all round. But both me and my four year old need to get with the program I suppose?
    Hi
  • I was reminded of my colour today
     Reply #10 - October 04, 2014, 12:55 AM
    Quote
    ...one asked me in passing why I was wearing it when I wasnt English...

    Obvious answer: because it pisses off wankers like you.
    Devious, treacherous, murderous, neanderthal, sub-human of the West. bunny
  • I was reminded of my colour today
     Reply #11 - October 04, 2014, 12:57 AM
    Lol.

     Was too gobsmacked to be clever. I thought of a million responses and reactions when I got home. Only managed a shake of the head at the time.
    Hi
  • I was reminded of my colour today
     Reply #12 - October 04, 2014, 12:59 AM
    Trivial as that comment about your football shirt is, on its face, there is a sting to comments like that.  Being casually insulted because of your race has a sting to it that being deliberately insulted for personal reasons doesn't.  You can get angry about personal, deliberate insults, but what was said to you there is something more insidious.  

    Your son wishing he wasn't brown is heartbreaking.  Don't take this the wrong way, but you said in your first post that "Pakistan has not given me too many reasons to be proud of it."  Do you think if you could honestly tell your son some reasons that you were proud of Pakistan, (and there are reasons to be proud of it),  that he might be able to better withstand the pressure of being different?
    "Befriend them not, Oh murtads, and give them neither parrot nor bunny."  - happymurtad's advice on trolls.
  • I was reminded of my colour today
     Reply #13 - October 04, 2014, 01:00 AM
    I've always considered English to be people from England. I have a friend who's Scottish of Pakistani descent, the fact he's brown doesn't stop me from viewing him as a red faced drunk born of incest screaming about a monster in the local loch like all the rest of them.
    `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
     `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad.  You're mad.'
     `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
     `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
  • I was reminded of my colour today
     Reply #14 - October 04, 2014, 01:06 AM
    Quod the Egalitarian Afro
    Devious, treacherous, murderous, neanderthal, sub-human of the West. bunny
  • I was reminded of my colour today
     Reply #15 - October 04, 2014, 01:09 AM
    Quote from: musivore on October 04, 2014, 12:52 AM
    my parent's segregated Northern mill town

    This is the root of the problem, sadly.
  • I was reminded of my colour today
     Reply #16 - October 04, 2014, 01:11 AM
    Lol quod. Plus lol on the weekend thread (can't be asked to go back there)

    Thanks Cheetah. I have been working overtime today to explain things to him and to make him more proud of his skin colour. I think I got somewhere. I didn't focus too much on the Pakistani bit. I really should, you're right.

    Hi
  • I was reminded of my colour today
     Reply #17 - October 04, 2014, 01:13 AM
    Quote from: David on October 04, 2014, 01:09 AM
    This is the root of the problem, sadly.

    Yep. Made me so sad, I left.
    Hi
  • I was reminded of my colour today
     Reply #18 - October 04, 2014, 01:15 AM
     far away hug
    "Befriend them not, Oh murtads, and give them neither parrot nor bunny."  - happymurtad's advice on trolls.
  • I was reminded of my colour today
     Reply #19 - October 04, 2014, 01:18 AM
    Awww, thanks Cheetah.

    At this rate, I shall go out looking for abuse. I'm loving the sympathy.
    Hi
  • I was reminded of my colour today
     Reply #20 - October 04, 2014, 01:52 AM
    Quote from: musivore on October 04, 2014, 01:13 AM
    Yep. Made me so sad, I left.

    Don't blame you. I hate segregation. My instinct is always to get everyone round a big table and ply them with food and drink.
  • I was reminded of my colour today
     Reply #21 - October 04, 2014, 02:00 AM
     Afro
    `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
     `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad.  You're mad.'
     `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
     `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
  • I was reminded of my colour today
     Reply #22 - October 04, 2014, 02:23 AM
    My children started school in an area ninety-five percent brown, mostly Spanish speaking. They wanted to know why they did not understand what their friends were saying, in Spanish and would ask me to teach them. They were depressed about it and felt left behind. We moved to a mostly European descent area a few years ago in America. Still they assume every foreign word and song that they hear on media is Spanish, because they want to learn it so badly, even years later.
    I was the only English speaker that they ever knew. So moving here and finding out that other people spoke it outside of school, like me, was very disconcerting for them. I think they initially thought it was a classroom-only language, said after the Spanish portion of the lesson.
    I think whatever the majority is in their area, the children want to be a part of it at such a young age. Mine asked me to speak to them in only English when we came here, so we could blend in.
    Don't let Hitler have the street.
  • I was reminded of my colour today
     Reply #23 - October 04, 2014, 04:49 AM
    That sounds like some really shitty experiences for you and your son. Ignore those bastards man, you're way more than any of their opinions could ever be worth.  far away hug
    Quote from: yeezevee on February 11, 2016, 02:05 PM
    how fuck works without shit??


    Let's Play Chess!

    harakaat, friend, RIP
  • I was reminded of my colour today
     Reply #24 - October 04, 2014, 05:10 AM
    Huh! this is fun to know

    I am sure this century will eliminate all that religious racial cultural superiority  or inferiority shit..

    Do not let silence become your legacy.. Question everything   
    I renounced my faith to become a kafir, 
    the beloved betrayed me and turned in to  a Muslim     
  • I was reminded of my colour today
     Reply #25 - October 04, 2014, 06:07 AM
    This is how dense some people are, im white and when i used to wear hijab, i had a few people yell the n word at me wacko
  • I was reminded of my colour today
     Reply #26 - October 04, 2014, 11:51 AM
    Quote from: Cheetah on October 04, 2014, 12:59 AM
     
    Your son wishing he wasn't brown is heartbreaking.  Don't take this the wrong way, but you said in your first post that "Pakistan has not given me too many reasons to be proud of it."  Do you think if you could honestly tell your son some reasons that you were proud of Pakistan, (and there are reasons to be proud of it),  that he might be able to better withstand the pressure of being different?


    This, I don't know what its like to raise a child in a society where racism is common but he needs to be understand that people are going to be prejudiced for one reason or another and if that's who they are then they are not worth being a friend.You can educate him about where your parents come from,your ethnicity and its culture by picking the positive aspects that will make him be proud of being a Pakistani descent instead of feeling ashamed and getting sucked in to living up to the ideals of white culture.
    "I'm standing here like an asshole holding my Charles Dickens"

    "No theory,No ready made system,no book that has ever been written to save the world. i cleave to no system.."-Bakunin
  • I was reminded of my colour today
     Reply #27 - October 04, 2014, 12:15 PM
    Quote from: suki on October 04, 2014, 06:07 AM
    This is how dense some people are, im white and when i used to wear hijab, i had a few people yell the n word at me wacko



    That definitely never happened to me. I was occasionally asked if I was from around here by other white people, though, or sometimes just got, "Where are you from?" which is something I almost never hear without the hijab, and in the Muslim community, I was very often asked if I was from Bosnia.

    Anyway, Musivore, seconded to everyone's advice, and it's great to hear that you're already trying to build a positive self image. I don't know where you are, but round these parts, what kids see on TV or in movies or advertisements is really significant in how they'll see the world and themselves. Maybe if you could even show your son some movies or TV shows out of Pakistan where he can start to see protagonists who aren't routinely white? It may help reinforce pride and acceptance in how he looks, and hopefully begin to show him that the norm is relative.
  • I was reminded of my colour today
     Reply #28 - October 04, 2014, 12:17 PM
    ^Good idea
    "I'm standing here like an asshole holding my Charles Dickens"

    "No theory,No ready made system,no book that has ever been written to save the world. i cleave to no system.."-Bakunin
  • I was reminded of my colour today
     Reply #29 - October 04, 2014, 12:18 PM
    Also need to point out the good and bad in all cultures. He can then choose the best bits and scrap the bad and be happy with doing so even if not 'the norm'.
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