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 Topic: 27 year old virgin

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  • 27 year old virgin
     Reply #30 - December 01, 2014, 10:05 PM
    Quote from: thaman on December 01, 2014, 09:50 PM
    I disagree with that, chastity is actually very important. You may feel like you can fuck whatever and whoever you like but that's your choice. Some of us value a chaste woman, and I think a woman who goes around flirting with a bunch of guys will not be respected as much as they'll just see her as 'easy' and maybe a 'slut'.

    Virginity does have value, ask a man who he would rather marry, a woman that is a virgin or a woman that has slept with 50 men. you know what the answer is most likely to be, the one that is chaste !

     GoodVsBad


    ^ Very funny. You nearly had me biting there.
  • 27 year old virgin
     Reply #31 - December 01, 2014, 10:11 PM
    Quote from: TheDarkRebel on December 01, 2014, 10:03 PM
    Really ?

    Yes, really.
  • 27 year old virgin
     Reply #32 - December 02, 2014, 12:31 AM
    Anyways to OP,

    Try online dating.  It's an easy way to meet people if your just starting out at this dating thingy like me.

    I recommend OkCupid. 

    In my opinion a life without curiosity is not a life worth living
  • 27 year old virgin
     Reply #33 - December 02, 2014, 06:40 AM
    @thaman

    To a man who thinks I'm "easy" because I don't live by some shitty patriarchal chastity norms I say, fuck off. Why would I ever want to be with a man like that again? Lol, been there done that. 
    "The healthiest people I know are those who are the first to label themselves fucked up." - three
  • 27 year old virgin
     Reply #34 - December 02, 2014, 06:57 AM
    Well, if it upsets you that you're sexually inexperienced, then I suppose it's a bad thing. I'm 26 and a virgin, but I choose to be that way and will continue to, probably until I die, considering how repulsive I find the entire concept of sexuality. It makes me feel physically sick to even think about having sex.
    Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for I have a sonic screwdriver, a tricorder, and a Type 2 phaser.
  • 27 year old virgin
     Reply #35 - December 02, 2014, 08:30 AM
    Quote from: thaman on December 01, 2014, 09:50 PM
    I disagree with that, chastity is actually very important. You may feel like you can fuck whatever and whoever you like but that's your choice. Some of us value a chaste woman, and I think a woman who goes around flirting with a bunch of guys will not be respected as much as they'll just see her as 'easy' and maybe a 'slut'.

    Virginity does have value, ask a man who he would rather marry, a woman that is a virgin or a woman that has slept with 50 men. you know what the answer is most likely to be, the one that is chaste !

     GoodVsBad


    Hmm right. Because there is no middle ground. Either a woman is chaste and pure and holy, or she is a whore from hell who has slept with 50 men.

    Having sexual experience does not make a woman easy or a slut. They're only viewed as such by insecure dickheads Smiley
    He's no friend to the friendless
    And he's the mother of grief
    There's only sorrow for tomorrow
    Surely life is too brief
  • 27 year old virgin
     Reply #36 - December 02, 2014, 08:40 AM
    Most of the sahaba had slept with over 50 women, many of them "unwilling" so to speak, but they were chaste right? Grin
    "The healthiest people I know are those who are the first to label themselves fucked up." - three
  • 27 year old virgin
     Reply #37 - December 02, 2014, 09:44 AM
    Chastity is very important to you, Thaman, but thankfully not to every man—not because I’ve gone around sleeping with every man I find, but because I’d rather be alone than wind up with someone who thinks like you. Can you imagine if the love and respect someone affords you was contingent upon whether or not you’ve had sex? Or had sex what they consider to be too many times? You can keep that highly conditional and superficial love, Thaman. Just like you’ll pass on a flirtatious woman, I and other women with self-respect will likely pass on men who speak the way you do.

    When I was much younger, I had similar thoughts (along with equally petty and immature beliefs that a teenaged girl might have), and held on to my virginity for a long time. I did find men who “respected” me for it, who loved the innocence I projected in my look and behavior, and very recently I’ve been asked if I’ve ever had sex, as a 24-year-old married woman! Grin Let me tell you that these guys’ respect is lighter than air, like their love, and I should know. I’ve had no shortage of interested men even after I lost my virginity, and all the ones who were ever worth my time never even asked about my sexual history.

    Even my husband, a Saudi (and Saudi men tend to care whether or not their future wives are virgins), told me when I started dating him that my past is my past and it doesn’t matter—he just didn’t want to know the graphic details. It was maturity that I didn’t necessarily expect from a guy who has a 2 lb bag of gummy bears in his desk drawer, but there it is. Grin
  • 27 year old virgin
     Reply #38 - December 02, 2014, 12:18 PM
    Well put, lua Smiley

    Also I think the value placed on a tiny, fragile piece of flesh between a woman's leg is outrageous and hilarious. I laugh at men who link bleeding on your wedding with purity. Long before I lost my virginity, I was having both oral and manual sex (give and take) while still maintaining the image of being a "respectable" girl. If I had married a proper muslim then, I would have bled the first time we had sex and he would have been very happy. And he would have been an utter moron for it.
    He's no friend to the friendless
    And he's the mother of grief
    There's only sorrow for tomorrow
    Surely life is too brief
  • 27 year old virgin
     Reply #39 - December 02, 2014, 12:32 PM
    When you put the worth of a girl or a woman in the hands of men obsessed with her chastity you put the worth of a woman in the hands of people who view her as worthless, essentially, because of who she is.

    Sexuality is part of our human essence. Societies that understand that, and stay away from honour / shame ethic, are healthier and better societies, and women (and men) who appreciate and explore their sexuality without a feeling of imminent worthlessness and even violence for embracing their human nature and essence are happier. A society that progresses towards that is a more ethical and moral society and culture than one that demonises female sexuality and ennobles 'chastity' (which is the seed bed of honor and shame murders too)
    "we can smell traitors and country haters"


    Quote from: arX on May 01, 2011, 03:33 AM
    God is Love.
    Love is Blind. Stevie Wonder is blind. Therefore, Stevie Wonder is God.

  • 27 year old virgin
     Reply #40 - December 02, 2014, 02:38 PM
    Quote from: thaman on December 01, 2014, 09:50 PM
    I disagree with that, chastity is actually very important. You may feel like you can fuck whatever and whoever you like but that's your choice. Some of us value a chaste woman, and I think a woman who goes around flirting with a bunch of guys will not be respected as much as they'll just see her as 'easy' and maybe a 'slut'.

    Virginity does have value, ask a man who he would rather marry, a woman that is a virgin or a woman that has slept with 50 men. you know what the answer is most likely to be, the one that is chaste ! GoodVsBad

    thaman, you talk as if only woman's chastity is important for men. What about man's chastity? Or the concept of chastity only applies to women? You talk about woman sleeping with 50 men, but what about a man sleeping with 50 women?
    वासुदैव कुटुम्बकम्
    Entire World is One Family
    سارا سنسار ايک پريوار ہے
  • 27 year old virgin
     Reply #41 - December 02, 2014, 03:02 PM
    Quote from: in_november on November 30, 2014, 03:24 PM
    I might not get married to the one I lose my virginity to and I'm ok with that. I'm just hoping that it is a meaningful relationship that I can look back on without complete regret.


    Don't we all!!

    You can't plan or force these sorts of things and I'm afraid relationships - whether outside marriage or inside marriage are always a bumpy ride.

    My advice is just relax. Be yourself. Take things as they come. Don't expect choirs of angels singing "Hallelujah".

    In my own experience my "first time" was not much fun at all lol

    I was also married 4 times - one of them was a virgin, and I can tell you virginity is hugely overrated. Muslims perhaps more than any other group make it into some sort of holy prize, a sacred pleasure... but frankly my best sex was with those who had been around a bit lol

    Pardon my frankness.
  • 27 year old virgin
     Reply #42 - December 02, 2014, 03:04 PM
    Quote from: Ram on December 02, 2014, 02:38 PM
    thaman, you talk as if only woman's chastity is important for men. What about man's chastity? Or the concept of chastity only applies to women? You talk about woman sleeping with 50 men, but what about a man sleeping with 50 women?


    What Ram said^
  • 27 year old virgin
     Reply #43 - December 02, 2014, 03:52 PM
    Thanks, Naerys! And that is so true, you could have done everything under the sun besides that, and he'd be none the wiser. Cheesy

    Quote from: Ram on December 02, 2014, 02:38 PM
    thaman, you talk as if only woman's chastity is important for men. What about man's chastity? Or the concept of chastity only applies to women? You talk about woman sleeping with 50 men, but what about a man sleeping with 50 women?


    You know he's just going to say that yes, it's a two way street.  Roll Eyes

    Actually, if it weren't for the fact that this has historically been a problem thrust mostly upon women, I would find this equally as offensive when applied to men. Most of my friends are men, and many of them are amazing guys that I love and respect deeply. Would you, Thaman, want to tell me that they are less worthy partners or marriage candidates because they've had sex in the past before settling down? Or that they shouldn't be as respected or as loved as a virgin? Get the fuck outta here. Grin
  • 27 year old virgin
     Reply #44 - December 02, 2014, 04:08 PM
    ^ He he he. You said thrust. He he he.
    He's no friend to the friendless
    And he's the mother of grief
    There's only sorrow for tomorrow
    Surely life is too brief
  • 27 year old virgin
     Reply #45 - December 02, 2014, 04:12 PM
    Cheesy For real, though, I audibly giggled through the male reproductive lecture slides of my first human biology course.
  • 27 year old virgin
     Reply #46 - December 02, 2014, 04:36 PM
    Quote from: lua on December 02, 2014, 04:12 PM
    Cheesy For real, though, I audibly giggled through the male reproductive lecture slides of my first human biology course.


    Hehe! You'd be in trouble in one of my old lecturers lectures. Instead of saying reproduce he said shag, fornicate yada yada!

    "If climate change happens these species might not emerge together in the Spring because of different triggers to come out of hibernation. As X eats Y this means that X cannot shag and survive into the future because they can't get laid and so go they will go extinct.
  • 27 year old virgin
     Reply #47 - December 02, 2014, 07:28 PM
    Why does valuing your virginity have to relate to living off men's opinions?

    Caring about your virginity means you are playing into a patriarchal system :S  There are men that value their virginity too, I know several in their 20's that have no desire to sleep with someone that isn't their wife. I also know many that aren't virgins but have no desire to sleep with someone they aren't in a long term loving relationship with. 

    Its not even about virginity, some people put more value on sex, some people don't. Some people would not enjoy sex if it was not someone they were close or comfortable with, it would be just doing it for the sake of it and some people can see as no different from a hi five.

    If you know in yourself that you would regret just going out there and doing it for the sake of it, then don't. It doesn't have to be something to just get out the way. Do whatever you feel comfortable with. If that means to make it more meaningful relationship then do so or if you feel the desire to sleep with Joe Bloggs after a night out at a bar then  go for it. There isn't a right or wrong way. People will have their judgements, but your life is yours, your cooch is yours.


    "Make anyone believe their own knowledge and logic is insufficient and you'll have a puppet susceptible to manipulation."
  • 27 year old virgin
     Reply #48 - December 02, 2014, 11:19 PM
    Quote from: Cornflower on December 02, 2014, 06:40 AM
    @thaman

    To a man who thinks I'm "easy" because I don't live by some shitty patriarchal chastity norms I say, fuck off. Why would I ever want to be with a man like that again? Lol, been there done that. 


    did I touch a nerve, what happened to your marriage ?
  • 27 year old virgin
     Reply #49 - December 02, 2014, 11:24 PM
    Quote from: lua on December 02, 2014, 09:44 AM
    Chastity is very important to you, Thaman, but thankfully not to every man—not because I’ve gone around sleeping with every man I find, but because I’d rather be alone than wind up with someone who thinks like you. Can you imagine if the love and respect someone affords you was contingent upon whether or not you’ve had sex? Or had sex what they consider to be too many times? You can keep that highly conditional and superficial love, Thaman. Just like you’ll pass on a flirtatious woman, I and other women with self-respect will likely pass on men who speak the way you do.

    When I was much younger, I had similar thoughts (along with equally petty and immature beliefs that a teenaged girl might have), and held on to my virginity for a long time. I did find men who “respected” me for it, who loved the innocence I projected in my look and behavior, and very recently I’ve been asked if I’ve ever had sex, as a 24-year-old married woman! Grin Let me tell you that these guys’ respect is lighter than air, like their love, and I should know. I’ve had no shortage of interested men even after I lost my virginity, and all the ones who were ever worth my time never even asked about my sexual history.

    Even my husband, a Saudi (and Saudi men tend to care whether or not their future wives are virgins), told me when I started dating him that my past is my past and it doesn’t matter—he just didn’t want to know the graphic details. It was maturity that I didn’t necessarily expect from a guy who has a 2 lb bag of gummy bears in his desk drawer, but there it is. Grin



    Is chastity important to your husband, I don't think he would like you to sleep with other men, is that what you are saying ? I just didn't get your post.
  • 27 year old virgin
     Reply #50 - December 02, 2014, 11:26 PM
    Thaman, I'm sorry, but it's hard to break it down any further for you, so just don't sweat it.
  • 27 year old virgin
     Reply #51 - December 02, 2014, 11:27 PM
    Quote from: Ram on December 02, 2014, 02:38 PM
    thaman, you talk as if only woman's chastity is important for men. What about man's chastity? Or the concept of chastity only applies to women? You talk about woman sleeping with 50 men, but what about a man sleeping with 50 women?


    The post was about women as the thread was about women, I never said chastity isn't important for men too.
  • 27 year old virgin
     Reply #52 - December 02, 2014, 11:29 PM
    Quote from: lua on December 02, 2014, 11:26 PM
    Thaman, I'm sorry, but it's hard to break it down any further for you, so just don't sweat it.


    no probs and your hubby sounds like a sweet guy
  • 27 year old virgin
     Reply #53 - December 02, 2014, 11:30 PM
    He is! I lucked out.
  • 27 year old virgin
     Reply #54 - December 02, 2014, 11:31 PM
    Quote from: Abu Ali on December 02, 2014, 03:02 PM
    Don't we all!!

    You can't plan or force these sorts of things and I'm afraid relationships - whether outside marriage or inside marriage are always a bumpy ride.

    My advice is just relax. Be yourself. Take things as they come. Don't expect choirs of angels singing "Hallelujah".

    In my own experience my "first time" was not much fun at all lol

    I was also married 4 times - one of them was a virgin, and I can tell you virginity is hugely overrated. Muslims perhaps more than any other group make it into some sort of holy prize, a sacred pleasure... but frankly my best sex was with those who had been around a bit lol

    Pardon my frankness.



    sorry to be nosy and you don't have to answer if you don't want to, but what happened to your marriages ?
  • 27 year old virgin
     Reply #55 - December 02, 2014, 11:31 PM
    Quote from: lua on December 02, 2014, 11:30 PM
    He is! I lucked out.


    I was talking about the gummy bears Tongue
  • 27 year old virgin
     Reply #56 - December 02, 2014, 11:34 PM
    Grin Gotcha. I swear I've actually had to hide his gummy bears from him before, he eats so many of them.

    Anyway, you were awfully polite and humble when asking Abu Ali what happened to his marriages, why didn't you approach Cornflower with the same humility when you asked her the very same question?

    I think it's pretty clear anyway from what she's said on this thread that she was in a marriage with a man with views like yours who wound up not really respecting her as a human being.
  • 27 year old virgin
     Reply #57 - December 02, 2014, 11:36 PM
    Thaman, why the crap is it any of your business what happened to everyone else's marriages? Let me help you out here: It is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. Because it is other people's lives. It is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS what another person's sexual history is, either, especially if you're not in or going to be in a relationship with them. This obsession by uninvolved but religious parties with other people's sex lives really bothers me. Why does it matter to you if another person you don't even actually know in real life is sexually active or not?
    Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for I have a sonic screwdriver, a tricorder, and a Type 2 phaser.
  • 27 year old virgin
     Reply #58 - December 03, 2014, 12:13 AM
    Quote from: thaman on December 02, 2014, 11:31 PM
    sorry to be nosy and you don't have to answer if you don't want to, but what happened to your marriages ?


    I'm still wondering that myself!!  grin12
  • 27 year old virgin
     Reply #59 - December 03, 2014, 12:15 AM


    His wives couldn't handle his awesomeness    Smiley 

    In my opinion a life without curiosity is not a life worth living
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