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Theme Changer

 Topic: Important book published - Expelling Jinn from Your Home

 (Read 11159 times)
  • 12 3 Next page « Previous thread | Next thread »
  • Important book published - Expelling Jinn from Your Home
     OP - April 02, 2015, 10:34 PM

    Ladies and Gentlemen,
    Human intellect and resources have been exhausted to produce this masterpiece. An important book to advance civilisation by helping you expel evil Jinn from your home. These are invisible creatures made of smokeless fire. Don't ask me what that is...
     ghost
    I have not bought this book since I don't have any Jinn in my home. I saw the book in an Islamic bookshop in Leicester and decided to take a photo of it.

    "Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so." -- Bertrand Russell

    Baloney Detection Kit
  • Important book published - Expelling Jinn from Your Home
     Reply #1 - April 02, 2015, 10:40 PM

    You read my mind, I was just thinking how I'm supposed to get rid of this jinn that has been lurking in my home and constantly making my apartment messy.  whistling2 mysmilie_977  finmad

    You are the Universe, Expressing itself as a Human for a little while- Eckhart Tolle
  • Important book published - Expelling Jinn from Your Home
     Reply #2 - April 02, 2015, 10:53 PM

    I hate it when Jinn won't leave your home!
  • Important book published - Expelling Jinn from Your Home
     Reply #3 - April 02, 2015, 11:02 PM

    I'm not even sure how you're meant to open that door.

    Looking at it, my guess is that his solution is 'stop making Jinn traps' and should really be aimed at the building trade. Did I nail it?
  • Important book published - Expelling Jinn from Your Home
     Reply #4 - April 02, 2015, 11:11 PM

    Jinn live in Arabia. Over here you need to worry about imps, fairies and the like.

    `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
     `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad.  You're mad.'
     `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
     `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
  • Important book published - Expelling Jinn from Your Home
     Reply #5 - April 02, 2015, 11:16 PM

    There are quite a few Jinn here now. They came over in containers and on the back of lorries.
  • Important book published - Expelling Jinn from Your Home
     Reply #6 - April 02, 2015, 11:17 PM

    Quod: We should tell people that. They tried to perform an exorcism on my little brother in Denmark because he had problems with autism and they were pretty convinced it was a jinn that had taken over him  Roll Eyes If only someone had bothered telling them it was the fairies causing the problem.

    You are the Universe, Expressing itself as a Human for a little while- Eckhart Tolle
  • Important book published - Expelling Jinn from Your Home
     Reply #7 - April 02, 2015, 11:20 PM

    Actually I'm glad there is a DIY book on how to get rid of Jinn because now there is no need to hire an expensive sheikh to do it.

    Looks pretty easy really:

    https://youtu.be/L8bY7bd6SsY

  • Important book published - Expelling Jinn from Your Home
     Reply #8 - April 02, 2015, 11:25 PM

    They tried to perform an exorcism on my little brother in Denmark because he had problems with autism


    Sorry to hear thst Ishtar hugs  That really pisses me off. My ex did something similar to my eldest son (behind my back) because he was having problems. I was fucking furious. Fortunately she has seen sense now.
  • Important book published - Expelling Jinn from Your Home
     Reply #9 - April 02, 2015, 11:27 PM

    Actually I'm glad there is a DIY book on how to get rid of Jinn because now there is no need to hire an expensive sheikh to do it.

    Looks pretty easy really:

    https://youtu.be/L8bY7bd6SsY




    So all it takes is some nasal recitation of the Qur'an and some spitting *writes notes* Got it.  Afro

    You are the Universe, Expressing itself as a Human for a little while- Eckhart Tolle
  • Important book published - Expelling Jinn from Your Home
     Reply #10 - April 02, 2015, 11:30 PM

    Sorry to hear thst Ishtar hugs  That really pisses me off. My ex did something similar to my eldest son (behind my back) because he was having problems. I was fucking furious. Fortunately she has seen sense now.


    Thank you dear Hassan hugs I really hope it hasn't traumatized him somehow. I was not able to stop it as I was pretty young as well when it happened. It's messed up. It wasn't even my parents who did it, but family members.  wacko My mom would make him drink zam zam water, and my father would read him Qur'an every night before going to sleep lol

    You are the Universe, Expressing itself as a Human for a little while- Eckhart Tolle
  • Important book published - Expelling Jinn from Your Home
     Reply #11 - April 02, 2015, 11:35 PM

    Ah yes, good ol' Zam Zam, that'll cure what ails thee!
  • Important book published - Expelling Jinn from Your Home
     Reply #12 - April 02, 2015, 11:39 PM

    Ladies and Gentlemen,
    Human intellect and resources have been exhausted to produce this masterpiece. An important book to advance civilisation by helping you expel evil Jinn from your home. These are invisible creatures made of smokeless fire. Don't ask me what that is...
     ghost
    I have not bought this book since I don't have any Jinn in my home. I saw the book in an Islamic bookshop in Leicester and decided to take a photo of it.



    What if it is a kind genie, like the genie from Aladdin? To get rid of the good would encourage the bad, surely? A bit like gut flora and antibiotics, kills the good and bad messing the whole thing up with bad ending up dominant cause not shaded out by good causing IBS! Basically exorcism encourages the bad extreme to grow and dominate and cause irritation.
  • Important book published - Expelling Jinn from Your Home
     Reply #13 - April 02, 2015, 11:47 PM

    What do they look like and what are they made of exactly? I want details from theologians. We need to study their feeding, breeding, playing and resting habits. Scientifically. parrot

    "Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so." -- Bertrand Russell

    Baloney Detection Kit
  • Important book published - Expelling Jinn from Your Home
     Reply #14 - April 03, 2015, 03:06 AM

    As it happened I watched that Wes Craven movie "Wishmaster" last night. For my first and final wish, I'm going to wish that the casting-directors and Tammy Lauren be forced to watch their own rotten movie again.

    A shame, because the screenwriter had done his homework. But the lead actress  Over react
  • Important book published - Expelling Jinn from Your Home
     Reply #15 - April 03, 2015, 05:56 AM

    I'm glad there's a guide published for you to deal with djinns own your own, but I prefer to leave the job to the experts.


    "we stand firm calling to allah all the time,
    we let them know - bang! bang! - coz it's dawah time!"
  • Important book published - Expelling Jinn from Your Home
     Reply #16 - April 03, 2015, 07:15 AM

    What do they look like and what are they made of exactly? I want details from theologians. We need to study their feeding, breeding, playing and resting habits. Scientifically. parrot


    Precisely - a detailed ecological study , looking at co-evolution, clades, relationships with faeries, dog headed people etc.

    http://bestiary.ca

    Quote
    Introduction   
     Jump to Home page    Help    Jump to Contents page   Jump to the Index page    Search    Jump to prior page    Jump to Next page
     
    In the Middle Ages, animal stories were immensely popular throughout Europe, North Africa, and the Middle East. The people of the time were, of course, dependent on wild and domestic animals for their survival, and so had an obvious interest in the animals around them. But there is more to it than just a requirement for knowledge of the animals they knew and used; there is a distinctly spiritual and even mystical aspect to the animal lore of the Middle Ages.

    The medieval period was intensely religious. In western Europe, the religion was Christianity; in North Africa and the Middle East it was primarily Islam. The Jews and their religion were found almost everywhere, living among Christians and Muslims, sometimes tolerated, sometimes not. Despite the frequent violence between them, all three religions were closely related and shared many of the same spiritual and historical texts. In particular, all three considered all or most of the Hebrew Bible (called the Old Testament by Christians), which contains many references to animals, to be sacred.

    In the Christian west, it was commonly believed that the natural world, the so-called "book of nature", had been arranged as it was by God to provide a source of instruction to humanity. This idea was based, at least in part, on biblical verses such as this one from the book of Job: "But ask the animals, and they will teach you, or the birds of the air, and they will tell you; or speak to the earth, and it will teach you, or let the fish of the sea inform you. Which of all these does not know that the hand of the Lord has done this? In his hand is the life of every creature and the breath of all mankind." (Job 12:7-10).

    Animals were said to have the characteristics they do not merely by accident; God created them with those characteristics to serve as examples for proper conduct and to reinforce the teachings of the Bible. As the pelican revives her dead young after three days with her own blood, so Christ "revived" humanity with his blood after three days in the grave. The way the young of the hoopoe care for their elderly parents shows how human children should care for theirs. As doves are safe from their enemy the dragon as long as they stay in the shelter of the peridexion tree, so Christians will be safe from their enemy Satan as long as they stay in the shelter of the Church.

    As the eagle rejects any of its young that cannot stare unflinching into the sun, so God will reject sinners who cannot bear the divine light. All of Creation was said to reflect the Creator, and to learn about the Creator one could study the Creation.......


    When you are a Bear of Very Little Brain, and you Think of Things, you find sometimes that a Thing which seemed very Thingish inside you is quite different when it gets out into the open and has other people looking at it.


    A.A. Milne,

    "We cannot slaughter each other out of the human impasse"
  • Important book published - Expelling Jinn from Your Home
     Reply #17 - April 03, 2015, 08:25 AM

    Jinn live in Arabia. Over here you need to worry about imps, fairies and the like.


    That's were you're wrong! DIdn't you watch the UK Leaders Debate yesterday? I clearly heard Nigel Farage say:

    'So long as we're in Europe we can do nothing about these former Communist Djinns entering our country'.

    We need:


    No free mixing of the sexes is permitted on these forums or via PM or the various chat groups that are operating.

    Women must write modestly and all men must lower their case.

    http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthread.php?425649-Have-some-Hayaa-%28modesty-shame%29-people!
  • Important book published - Expelling Jinn from Your Home
     Reply #18 - April 03, 2015, 09:30 AM

    I think actually we should set up a proper website that is not actually a spoof but uses proper religious language and quotations but slowly leads people to think about what they are doing.

    For example, is it a jinn?  What country are you in?  Might it be like a cottingley fairie or a tolkienesque elf?

    is it good or bad or both?  Untrained, young?

    Might it be something else?  autism?

    It would have to be very carefully written, but I think we have the skills here.  The point is it must be accepted as authentically Islamic.

    (I would also suggest separately a Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Jinn - think of the homeless Jinn the op book is causing!)

    When you are a Bear of Very Little Brain, and you Think of Things, you find sometimes that a Thing which seemed very Thingish inside you is quite different when it gets out into the open and has other people looking at it.


    A.A. Milne,

    "We cannot slaughter each other out of the human impasse"
  • Important book published - Expelling Jinn from Your Home
     Reply #19 - April 03, 2015, 09:38 AM

    Maybe it does not need to be a separate website, just a posting on Ummah and simular sites?

    When you are a Bear of Very Little Brain, and you Think of Things, you find sometimes that a Thing which seemed very Thingish inside you is quite different when it gets out into the open and has other people looking at it.


    A.A. Milne,

    "We cannot slaughter each other out of the human impasse"
  • Important book published - Expelling Jinn from Your Home
     Reply #20 - April 03, 2015, 09:45 AM

    I hate it when Jinn won't leave your home!


    Just ask them nicely

    "I Knew who I was this morning, but I've changed a few times since then." Alice in wonderland

    "This is the only heaven we have how dare you make it a hell" Dr Marlene Winell
  • Important book published - Expelling Jinn from Your Home
     Reply #21 - April 03, 2015, 03:41 PM

    Get some tonic and the gin will not be a problem!
  • Important book published - Expelling Jinn from Your Home
     Reply #22 - April 03, 2015, 04:27 PM

    I've had a Catholic excorcism on my mums house when i was a teen, involved lots of chucking water at people.
  • Important book published - Expelling Jinn from Your Home
     Reply #23 - April 03, 2015, 05:23 PM

    Just ask them nicely


    I do but they just ignore me and become verbally abusive.

    You should hear the language they come out with.

    Ancient Aramaic I think.
  • Important book published - Expelling Jinn from Your Home
     Reply #24 - April 03, 2015, 05:27 PM

    I heard reading quraan works to drive the naughty jinns away Tongue

    "I Knew who I was this morning, but I've changed a few times since then." Alice in wonderland

    "This is the only heaven we have how dare you make it a hell" Dr Marlene Winell
  • Important book published - Expelling Jinn from Your Home
     Reply #25 - April 03, 2015, 05:28 PM

    Which reminds me that back in the 70s I was given an Arabic book on how to control the Jinn with loads of strange words in it. But I lost it :(
  • Important book published - Expelling Jinn from Your Home
     Reply #26 - April 03, 2015, 05:29 PM

    I've had a Catholic excorcism on my mums house when i was a teen, involved lots of chucking water at people.


    Ye water is common, I was given 'blessed water' to spray in all corners of my house by my ex inlaws as they thought a jinn was there.

    "I Knew who I was this morning, but I've changed a few times since then." Alice in wonderland

    "This is the only heaven we have how dare you make it a hell" Dr Marlene Winell
  • Important book published - Expelling Jinn from Your Home
     Reply #27 - April 03, 2015, 05:29 PM

    I was told so many scary Jinn stories I was terrified of them yet never ever witnessed anything myself

    "I Knew who I was this morning, but I've changed a few times since then." Alice in wonderland

    "This is the only heaven we have how dare you make it a hell" Dr Marlene Winell
  • Important book published - Expelling Jinn from Your Home
     Reply #28 - April 03, 2015, 05:31 PM

    I heard reading quraan works to drive the naughty jinns away Tongue


    That was in the old days.

    Now they're just like: "Muhammad just ripped off Galen" and "Haha the sun doesn't set in a muddy spring"

    I think they've been reading anti-Islam websites.
  • Important book published - Expelling Jinn from Your Home
     Reply #29 - April 03, 2015, 05:35 PM

     Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy Hasan   Afro

    Athiest Jinns hey.... they not scared of anyone now

    "I Knew who I was this morning, but I've changed a few times since then." Alice in wonderland

    "This is the only heaven we have how dare you make it a hell" Dr Marlene Winell
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