Dear readers, Here are my Sunday evening ramblings:
I believe it was the Ramadan of 2013 where I sort of stumbled upon the conclusion that I want to become a Kafir and it was the same era I embraced my fate to be burnt in the eternal hell fire, or "Janhannam" as it is referred to in the Holy, merciful and sweet Qur'an. So I feel like giving you an update 2 years down the line of me being a "Munafiq" (Hypocrite) and a "Kafir". Also, do take much of what I say with a pinch of salt, I can't help but satirically input mocking phrases to the religion that has stolen golden years of my younger days.
To begin with, Ramadan was a pain in the ass, despite the fact that I live alone and don't have the hiding-my-food issue. However, I just hate lying to my parents on every phone call or even to Muslim friends who ask "How's the fast going? Long days right?..." and I find myself lying, on a regular basis. I just don't like it. I don't like lying. I don't like being a hypocrite. But I have to.
More conclusions I came to:
-In the 2 years that I have been a Kafir, there have probably been millions of Muslims praying for the come-back of the Ummah....and in all that time, I think Allah has simply been too busy giving Aids to young African Children, because the Muslim world is going from bad to worse. Or maybe the signal up in the heavens is too weak? (Maybe use Fibre Optics for a faster connection to Allah? Maybe a 0800 Free call?) Anyway, why does Dua not work? Oh wait, if Allah doesn't answer in this life, he answers in the hereafter. Oh right, okay no problem, well Muslims will just have to put up with being in the bottom 10 for every corruption/inequality categorization ranks there are. No biggy (No Diggitty if you know Chet Faker
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-I've noticed that closet Muslims in the Arab world resort to dark humour and sarcasm to portray their "kufr" (disbelief). I think there is a reason why such strategy is chosen. It doesn't explicitly divulge your kufr, but in the same time, causes enough thought provocation to make you question. I think this is a good strategy for tackling Islam. Show them how ridiculously stupid and silly it is.
-It still makes me laugh how the "Kuffar" managed to land on the moon, discover the best technological and healthcare solutions, create the best welfare systems, create progressive societies towards equality and much more ALL THE WHILE Muslims STILL think that they are the underdogs that are not being given the chance, and that in reality "if Muslims actually hold fast to the true deen, we will see the ummah return". I find it strange too how Muslims emigrate to kafir lands, accept their gratitude and hospitality, yet deep inside their ape-brains, they believe they will be burnt up in the hottest ovens in Hell (Probably manufactured by a German company). It's such a cocky and polarised view where you think you're right, and the others are totally misled. Wake the fudge up. If your "Deen" was indeed a divine system sent down from the heavens, then 1,400 years is probably more than plenty for you to show us world domination and prosperity. But instead, the following words: Poverty, inequality, terrorism, hunger, genocide are synonymous with Muslim countries such as Pakistan, Afghanistan, Iran, Somalia, Sudan etc.
-I do feel sorry for Muslims, particularly the younger youthful ones. They are being held down by outdated laws. I do feel for them. I feel bad. I wish I could efficiently sway them away from it so that they can focus their energies on useful things on their lives.
-With certain crowds, the best think you can do - thought extremely difficult - is just avoid discussing Religion & Politics. Simple. Stay away from those two topics and no one will touch you. Or at least they won't have any firm ground on your satanic beliefs.
-I am still sexist and homophobic, despite leaving Islam and being brought up in England. All I'm saying is, that my backward way of seeing the world is not a result of my religion, but my North African cultural upbringing. Which brings me to an important point, the reason why Islam is doing badly, is that culture has mixed with it indiscriminately.
-For any Muslims reading this, let me tell you that in my 2 years of Kufr I've significantly received better grades for my undergraduate studies, I've began to understand that my time on this earth is finite and I should work very hard to ensure my economical prosperity to raise children and ultimately contribute something meaningful to the world before my inevitable departure. Do I drink Alcohol? Yes I do. But let me tell you, I go to the gym 5 days a week, eat extremely healthily, take care of my appearance and only drink on occasions or socially infrequently (4 or 5 times a month in fact) - otherwise, it's an added extra (this is just in case you think I left Islam for Alcohol haha). I'm generally a better person. I don't feel guilty. I don't feel the need to say "astaghfirullah" every second of the freaking day. That feeling of GUILT that sheikhs shove up your anal passage from age 1 goes and fades. It's not healthy. And I should not be apologizing to a mythical all powerful Allah for breaking rules that never existed.
I really could go on but let me end on this note to my fellow Ex Muslims on this board:
It gives me comfort and relaxation to read the similarity between my struggles and your struggles. You're not alone. Being an undercover, secret Jahannam Warrior is difficult. It is emotionally demanding. It is painful. But always remember, you're not alone. There are many just like you struggling.
And oh, in case Islam is true; Bring sun-cream with you, I heard Hell is hot
Topic: Updating you on my hypocrisy