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 Topic: Two topic, but related: homosexuality & marriage

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  • Two topic, but related: homosexuality & marriage
     OP - November 07, 2015, 12:23 PM
    Hi everyone,

    How many of you out there left religion because of your sexual orientation? And as a result would you ever get married now that same-sex marriage is legal (in most places anyway). What I mean to say is, how do you feel about marriage? And what are your thoughts on civil partnership?

    I'll explain: I was speaking to a friend who has no faith, she feels she would never marry because of the concept of marriage, all that it stands for in regards to religion. However a civil partnership is one which she would be happy to enter into.

    What are your thoughts on marriage? I guess this would extent to everyone, not just same-sex partnerships.
  • Two topic, but related: homosexuality & marriage
     Reply #1 - November 07, 2015, 07:03 PM
    I feel so deeply damaged by misogyny that I don´t think I have any right to enter into another relationship. It would not be fair to the other party.
    I left religion primarily because of my gender. Perhaps if I were male I would never have realized how skewed it was in my favor, nor minded.
    Don't let Hitler have the street.
  • Two topic, but related: homosexuality & marriage
     Reply #2 - November 08, 2015, 07:08 AM
    Quote from: NAartist on November 07, 2015, 12:23 PM


    How many of you out there left religion because of your sexual orientation? And as a result would you ever get married now that same-sex marriage is legal (in most places anyway). What I mean to say is, how do you feel about marriage? And what are your thoughts on civil partnership?


    Hetro male here. I never left due to any issue regarding sexual orientation regarding myself or others. I was the privileged gender anyways. Marriage to me is about love regardless of what people wish to attach to it; gender, roles, rituals, etc.  If marriage was not attached to a system of social benefits and legal codes I would never have one. Civil partnerships need to replace marriage in legal matters leaving marriage to be the cultural/religious views it always has been which is subjective.

    Quote
    I'll explain: I was speaking to a friend who has no faith, she feels she would never marry because of the concept of marriage, all that it stands for in regards to religion. However a civil partnership is one which she would be happy to enter into.


    Pretty much my view. Let people decide what it means to them leaving the state free from subjective views.
  • Two topic, but related: homosexuality & marriage
     Reply #3 - November 08, 2015, 04:40 PM
    Quote from: three on November 07, 2015, 07:03 PM
    I feel so deeply damaged by misogyny that I don´t think I have any right to enter into another relationship. It would not be fair to the other party.


     far away hug

    You are wonderful three. Any person who had the opportunity to enter into a relationship with you might only hope to be so lucky.
    Quote from: yeezevee on February 11, 2016, 02:05 PM
    how fuck works without shit??


    Let's Play Chess!

    harakaat, friend, RIP
  • Two topic, but related: homosexuality & marriage
     Reply #4 - November 09, 2015, 12:21 AM
    You are such a nice person, asbie. I truly hope that you get everything you ever wanted in life, I think you deserve it all.
    Don't let Hitler have the street.
  • Two topic, but related: homosexuality & marriage
     Reply #5 - November 09, 2015, 12:41 AM
     Embarrassed

    Thank you. You're too sweet.
    Quote from: yeezevee on February 11, 2016, 02:05 PM
    how fuck works without shit??


    Let's Play Chess!

    harakaat, friend, RIP
  • Two topic, but related: homosexuality & marriage
     Reply #6 - November 09, 2015, 03:34 PM
    Thanks guys for sharing Smiley

    Bogart, you're right, I agree with you on everything you said, thanks for sharing.

    Three, Asbie is right, I don't know you, but I'm sure you're a wonderful person, you just need to find the right person Smiley
  • Two topic, but related: homosexuality & marriage
     Reply #7 - November 11, 2015, 01:50 AM
    Y´all are sweet, but did you ever think that the whole ¨right person¨ thing is as mythical as the ¨Prince Charming¨ tale?  I am not so sure that couplehood is even desirable anymore. At least for myself.

    I think I have seen romantic expectations on view everywhere I look in Western culture, TV, all the ads, the movies, the dating scene and holidays that are so very visible. It was also half my religion, as if I could not please God were I not coupled up. Which I did, all my adult life. I sort of feel like I have been had, as if it were all a big marketing gimmick.

    One thing I noticed during years of watching Western and Eastern media is that the stories in the West ended with the main character/s coupled and the Eastern movies often ended with the heroine martyred in some way if not coupled, sacrificed to spinsterhood or widowhood or death- but that was okay because honor. Women didn´t have to be happy, just good, it seemed. Ewww. I don´t want either option. I want the happy ending. Right now I have it, if being happier than in the past is any indication.

    Being alone, not being single (which implies dating), is awesome. I can be happy like this for a very long time, I think.  I am nearly old enough to take Quran 24:60 and run with it, you know.

    I have made certain that my children know that I do not expect them to couple up, ever, unless they wish it. They get pressure from all other sides on the issue, and I want them to be happy and choose what is best, not what is expected.
    Don't let Hitler have the street.
  • Two topic, but related: homosexuality & marriage
     Reply #8 - November 11, 2015, 02:28 AM
    Meh, if I had my own way I would've done it by 18 or 19 at the latest. Not sure if parents should really have that much of an influence one way or another.
    Quote from: yeezevee on February 11, 2016, 02:05 PM
    how fuck works without shit??


    Let's Play Chess!

    harakaat, friend, RIP
  • Two topic, but related: homosexuality & marriage
     Reply #9 - November 11, 2015, 03:33 AM
    I know so many people who have been nagged or pressured or nearly forced into marriage by their parents, and then blame them forever for it. I wish I had NOT been married at eighteen, but I can only blame my parents in a round about way for that. 
    Don't let Hitler have the street.
  • Two topic, but related: homosexuality & marriage
     Reply #10 - November 11, 2015, 10:01 AM
    Being a lone parent IS awesome when the kids are young and you get to do so many fun, active things together, i did it all, and loved it so much, but when they get older and no longer want to spend the day with you, only with their mates, that's when the loneliness hits you like a ton of bricks lol.. I'm at that stage right now, don't know what to do with myself,  i'm so used to having fun with children and not so often with adults lol... the thought of having a partner to share my life with, meh.. i haven't the energy  : )

    I agree with the others, you are wonderful Three and deserve to be loved by someone special..
  • Two topic, but related: homosexuality & marriage
     Reply #11 - November 11, 2015, 11:10 AM
    Three, I didn't mean anything by what I said, if you're looking fine, if you're lucky you will find someone who shares your views, I'm not speaking from watching movies and the like, just from the people I've seen who are in good relationships. All in all, you are happy the way you are and that's great and what works for you. The only reason I mentioned 'the right person' was you said 'It would not be fair to the other party.' So I just meant you shouldn't count yourself out because of that.

    But you're happy the way you are and I wish you all the best Smiley
  • Two topic, but related: homosexuality & marriage
     Reply #12 - November 11, 2015, 01:29 PM
    Quote from: three on November 11, 2015, 01:50 AM
    Y´all are sweet, but did you ever think that the whole ¨right person¨ thing is as mythical as the ¨Prince Charming¨ tale?  I am not so sure that couplehood is even desirable anymore. At least for myself.

    I think I have seen romantic expectations on view everywhere I look in Western culture, TV, all the ads, the movies, the dating scene and holidays that are so very visible. It was also half my religion, as if I could not please God were I not coupled up. Which I did, all my adult life. I sort of feel like I have been had, as if it were all a big marketing gimmick.

    One thing I noticed during years of watching Western and Eastern media is that the stories in the West ended with the main character/s coupled and the Eastern movies often ended with the heroine martyred in some way if not coupled, sacrificed to spinsterhood or widowhood or death- but that was okay because honor. Women didn´t have to be happy, just good, it seemed. Ewww. I don´t want either option. I want the happy ending. Right now I have it, if being happier than in the past is any indication.

    Being alone, not being single (which implies dating), is awesome. I can be happy like this for a very long time, I think.  I am nearly old enough to take Quran 24:60 and run with it, you know.

    I have made certain that my children know that I do not expect them to couple up, ever, unless they wish it. They get pressure from all other sides on the issue, and I want them to be happy and choose what is best, not what is expected.


    Three, I can relate to that... so much :(

    However, I don't think that misogyny should prevent you from getting the life you deserve. Most non-religious non-traditional men I know respect women and treat women as equal. I mean, that's part of the reason why I married my husband, because he's not the type of man who expect women to do all household chores, sacrificing her dreams and ambitions to be a pseudo-maid.

    Good luck to you. Afro
  • Two topic, but related: homosexuality & marriage
     Reply #13 - November 12, 2015, 01:34 AM
    Dearest Helaine, I think you just described all my husbands - as they were all the ¨type of man who expect women to do all household chores, sacrificing her dreams and ambitions to be a pseudo-maid.¨

    So you get where I am coming from. If I had a man who had different expectations of me I would certainly view him with suspicion. Such would be alien to me.
    Don't let Hitler have the street.
  • Two topic, but related: homosexuality & marriage
     Reply #14 - November 12, 2015, 01:36 AM
    Quote from: suki on November 11, 2015, 10:01 AM
    Being a lone parent IS awesome when the kids are young and you get to do so many fun, active things together, i did it all, and loved it so much, but when they get older and no longer want to spend the day with you, only with their mates, that's when the loneliness hits you like a ton of bricks lol.. I'm at that stage right now, don't know what to do with myself,  i'm so used to having fun with children and not so often with adults lol... the thought of having a partner to share my life with, meh.. i haven't the energy  : )

    I agree with the others, you are wonderful Three and deserve to be loved by someone special..


    Ah Suki, this Saturday we go to the zoo. I will be sorry when they hit the friend years, but I am hoping to keep them around by cooking loads of food and being welcoming of their friends, who currently all come here.. doesn´t that work in the teen years? I will miss them so...
    Don't let Hitler have the street.
  • Two topic, but related: homosexuality & marriage
     Reply #15 - November 12, 2015, 01:38 AM
    Quote from: NAartist on November 11, 2015, 11:10 AM
    Three, I didn't mean anything by what I said, if you're looking fine, if you're lucky you will find someone who shares your views, I'm not speaking from watching movies and the like, just from the people I've seen who are in good relationships. All in all, you are happy the way you are and that's great and what works for you. The only reason I mentioned 'the right person' was you said 'It would not be fair to the other party.' So I just meant you shouldn't count yourself out because of that.

    But you're happy the way you are and I wish you all the best Smiley



    I just don´t know many people in good relationships, really. I appreciate the sentiments, though. I wasn´t offended.
    Don't let Hitler have the street.
  • Two topic, but related: homosexuality & marriage
     Reply #16 - November 12, 2015, 11:09 AM
    Quote from: three on November 12, 2015, 01:36 AM
    Ah Suki, this Saturday we go to the zoo. I will be sorry when they hit the friend years, but I am hoping to keep them around by cooking loads of food and being welcoming of their friends, who currently all come here.. doesn´t that work in the teen years? I will miss them so...


    Yes true it can carry on  : ) 

    x
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