How to deal with best friend who is still a muslim

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- Lemoncake
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How to deal with best friend who is still a muslim
OP - October 25, 2017, 05:13 PM

My best friend i know since childhood is still a muslim and he doesn't know that i left Islam.
He isn't really that fanatic, he is against ISIS and stuff and also parties and hangs around with girls a lot. He is pakistani and had more white girlfriends than the average non-muslim.
However during Ramadan he becomes very religious to that point i feel uncomfortable to be with him. He talks about Islam 24/7 and has a wide knowledge and watches a lot of videos of these ,,scholars'' and i have to fake being interested and amazed while listening to him. Outside of Ramadan he never prays and basically doesn't do anything for Islam except going to friday prayer. But he keeps telling him how he wants to become a better muslim (i often start changing topics and start talking about girls and alcohol lol)

I really wish he would leave this religion, too but i don't know how to start talking to him. He sometimes says stuff like ,,the kuffar will regret for disbeliving after they die'' and stuff like this and also doesn't show any empathy to european terrorist victims, but doesn't glorify it neither but at the same time he has lots of non-muslim friends and even works as a police office for a secular gouvernment.
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How to deal with best friend who is still a muslim
Reply #1 - October 25, 2017, 05:48 PM

That's not much different from most muslims. They tend to hold contradictory beliefs simultaneously, there is not much alternative when you are brainwashed.

He sounds like the average muslim male teen who will break as many rules as his conscience allows him to. But in his heart he is a muslim, when Ramadan comes his true nature starts to show. He'll grow up to become more religious, unless he manages to break the brainwashing, but that is a rarity.

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He sometimes says stuff like ,,the kuffar will regret for disbeliving after they die''

Personally, I don't believe he is a good person. Moderate muslims aren't this harsh. And having 'more white girlfriends than the average non-muslim' makes him sound like a player. He is pakistani too, they generally have little respect for women, especially white women.

Maybe I am being pessimistic, but I wouldn't reveal your lack of faith to this guy. It wont benefit you, and pakistani's can become weirdly extreme. Just be careful.

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How to deal with best friend who is still a muslim
Reply #2 - October 25, 2017, 06:33 PM

The fact that he doesn't sympathize with terror victims is a huge red flag. He sounds like a fundamentalist to me. I don't know if you can change him or if it's worth trying. I wouldn't keep being friends with this guy if I were you. Not unless you think you can rub off on him, which is doubtful.

My best friend identifies as a Muslim, but I think she's actually agnostic and doesn't want to let go of Islam. She's very gentle-natured and highly intelligent, and the way I try to "influence" her is subtle. I gently question why she believes the things she believes, beginning with a statement like, "I wonder..." because it's less confrontational than, "Why do you believe in Islam..." Instead I say things like, "I wonder if Heaven and Hell are literal or metaphorical places." Engaging her in open-ended dialogue and trying to push her mind beyond the boundaries of Islam without her realizing what I'm doing.

But yeah be careful with this guy, he sounds toxic and not a friend worth having.

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How to deal with best friend who is still a muslim
Reply #3 - October 25, 2017, 06:50 PM

Also, I suspect the reason he's against ISIS is just because they make Muslims look bad. Like I highly doubt he cares about the Shia Muslims being murdered by them, or anyone else who isn't a Muslim.

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How to deal with best friend who is still a muslim
Reply #4 - October 26, 2017, 12:42 AM

What scholars is he watching?
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