Hi everyone and this is my story
OP - May 22, 2019, 12:54 PM
I was very young when i left islam. I was around 13. I wasn't practicing one tho but i used to believe in the quran and such . I had read a book of Zakir naik " Quran and Bible in the light of modern science" where Zakir naik debated William Campbell and where he has shown that Quran is scientific miracle. I wasn't very convinced thought and quickly dismissed it all . I couldn't belive that God would sentence us to hell for eternity if we did not believe in him. Why i dismissed the entire religion like that, i have no idea. Maybe because i was still a little child who didn't think or use logic that much and thats probably i made such a huge leap without questioning myself ever.
Fast forward to when i was 17. I would frequently visit anti - muslim sites citing ridiculous hadith and such. But that day was different. That day i typed something about scientific miracles in the google just to see it all debunked, but thats where the domino effect started. I found countless of scientific miracles and i started to feel fear. I looked for the debunking for those and i found some good material.
And then i found numerical miracles. Miracle 19 (which later i found was debunked as Rashid Khaalifa lied) , the day appearing 365 times (later found that it is fake as well) and many others. Of course those could be explained somehow as being done by a mere human, but then...
THIS couldn't have been a coincidence nor the one i found about the Bee genetic code (16) being the same as the number of the Surah about bee and the same thing about Iron.
And then this about the moon landing , number of verses after 54:01 matches when 21 July 1969 is converted to Islamic calender. And also the verse is 54:1 the time 17:54:01 matches with the time the lunar module took off from the moon
And then that checksum (odd/even miracle)
There is one sentence i can use to describe how i felt then: I was mind raped I felt utter fear about the possibility of there being hell and me entering it since i had read all the description of hell fire in Islam. But still at that time, i felt like it was wrong for people to suffer for their beliefs. Some part of me was rebellious and wanted to actually commit suicide just to see for myself. But i didn't . I was crying for like 2-3 days and then i felt something inside me. I started to feel like being a muslim wont be bad for me, it would be a good thing (i didn't know about beard, how islam views adoption (i am adopted) FGM, using left hand and such..)
And then fast forward to like previous month. I decided that i just cant stand this BS anymore and started to search. I joined r/exmuslim where i would get support and post help on rebuttals to those numerical "miracles" and simillar stuff. I don't know Arabic so i can't know whether quran has scientific errors or not.
What gave me doubt in the quran is the claim of error in embriology, Global flood, and finally Evolution