I am finally leaving my house...

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- Marmalade-Lady
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I am finally leaving my house...
OP - November 06, 2008, 07:52 PM

Hi everyone

just a quick update. I am finally taking the plunge, and have found a place with a friend, a really nice two bedroom flat. She understands my predicament and supports me fully. I am already in it now, because I've paid part of the deposit,and am moving in soon in the next few days. By Monday most likely I will have to call my family, most likely my brother and tell him I;ve bought my own place with a friend.

I guess the ball needed a good pushing for me, before it started rolling, and it has now- full swing! The flat isn't even very far from mt family's house, but nevertheless, soon my my family will have to comprehend that this crap can;t go on...freedom, here I come!

Is there any advice anyone can give me on how they think the whole 'leaving' thing should be done? And things to watch out for etc?

Marmalade Lady
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Re: I am finally leaving my house...
Reply #1 - November 06, 2008, 08:49 PM

Congratulations Marmalade, and here begineth the fun side of life , party party party.

It's so positive to hear that you have pushed forward and taken the plunge, especially with how worried you have been about it all.

I'm honestly not sure what teh best way is to drop it to your parents, maybe take your friend with you when you tell them so you are not alone, just incase there is a slim chance they go mental?

Just be ready for the guilt trip, the recriminations, the threats, the emotional blackmail. It will only be hard on you if you let it get to you, don't let it get to you.

Be firm that you are moving out.

Good luck Marmalade.

Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
- awais
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Re: I am finally leaving my house...
Reply #2 - November 06, 2008, 08:52 PM

good luck. and i don't mean it sarcasticly.

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- Cheetah
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Re: I am finally leaving my house...
Reply #3 - November 06, 2008, 08:53 PM

Good luck, ML. Take somebody with you when you tell them, or tell them over the phone.

"Befriend them not, Oh murtads, and give them neither parrot nor bunny." - happymurtad's advice on trolls.
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Re: I am finally leaving my house...
Reply #4 - November 06, 2008, 09:37 PM

Congrats, Marmalade! Good luck, through and through.

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Re: I am finally leaving my house...
Reply #5 - November 06, 2008, 09:39 PM

Quote from: Zaephon on November 06, 2008, 09:37 PM
Congrats, Marmalade! Good luck, through and through.

Ditto, girlfriend.

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Re: I am finally leaving my house...
Reply #6 - November 06, 2008, 09:57 PM

Sounds awesome, Marmalade.
Just remember that whatever bullshit they throw at you it'll be better than being stuck in the same house.

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- sojournerlumus
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Re: I am finally leaving my house...
Reply #7 - November 06, 2008, 10:20 PM

Good luck. You can always leave a letter on your way out, somewhere they'll find it. If you phone them it may lead to tears, threats and a screaming fit from some one and words being uttered that can never be taken back.
If you do phone, make sure the number's not traceable.
If you leave and then write, they may get the law out looking for you in the interim.
I reckon leaving a letter on the way out should do the trick, and tell them you'll phone them in a day or two. It'll give them time to think about it and maybe calm down if you put it the right way in your letter.
Be vigilant if you go anywhere they might be expecting to find you at a given time.
Enjoy your freedom but don't lose your senses.

Religion is ignorance giftwrapped in lyricism.
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Re: I am finally leaving my house...
Reply #8 - November 07, 2008, 07:14 AM

Whatever sadness it is you're leaving behind, Marmalade, I wish you luck for a new future, too. Just wish I knew the back-story. Is there a link to your earlier posts on the subject? Very best wishes. Neil

We are not here to fight religion. We are here to make religion irrelevant. NM
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Re: I am finally leaving my house...
Reply #9 - November 07, 2008, 07:45 AM

Good Luck ML, hope you do not burn any bridges. I would try to make it as a natural happy act. No sneaking or 'dissapearing'. Just tell them you bought a house and are so happy about it and if/when they get upset then act shocked and very hurt, which you should be anyways.

"Ask the slave girl; she will tell you the truth.' So the Apostle called Burayra to ask her. Ali got up and gave her a violent beating first, saying, 'Tell the Apostle the truth.'"
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Re: I am finally leaving my house...
Reply #10 - November 07, 2008, 08:16 AM

Congrats. I hope things turn out good for you! It takes a while to pluck up the courage to do something like this, and I hope I will be in the same position as you soon

Best of luck and keep us posted!
- Marmalade-Lady
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Re: I am finally leaving my house...
Reply #11 - November 07, 2008, 09:40 PM

Hi all

thanks for the encouragment. Yep infact me and my friend got the keys today (Friday) and we spent some time there talking about what we want to do to decorate it etc, not that its not already a really nice place.

I started packing today in the morning, and took a suitcase, and a few other things to the flat. I will take the rest of the stuff tomorrow. I am not taking everything from my room though, just enough to the flat and a few other bits and bobs.
It is my firm belief I will come back to my family house soon with things a lot more clearer and settled, and I can take the rest of my stuff.

Me and my friend are moving in tomorow (saturday). Yepee! I'll just call them Saturday night and tell them I have a bought a place with a friend and I am living there now. Sounds strangely hilarious almost...but yes no doubt the usual shrieks and screams ('Hai Allah!'], me being a bad girl and being selfish and 'leaving' my family. I am not even leaving, I just want my own space can't they see that?

Part of me does feel guilty, in a sense of how selfish I am, and I have been going round behind their back. Me the secret back-stabber....but most of me just thinks, yepee, what do I have to feel guilty about...I am only gaining my freedom. This had to happen at some point and it has.

I'll let you know soon how it goes. I am so looking forward to doing my meditations and other spiritual practices, in my own large room, in a nice large flat, in a nice area, with a friend who is really into the same interests as me...phew! I am so looking forward to waking up Sunday morning in my own place!

The freedom just to be me..

Marmalade Lady
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Re: I am finally leaving my house...
Reply #12 - November 08, 2008, 03:39 PM

Hey, congrats! I was wondering how long have you been planning this? and how tricky was it etc, it seems you have a previous thread to this topic, could you please send me a link to it if there is one? thanks.

"Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom." - Viktor E. Frankl

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Re: I am finally leaving my house...
Reply #13 - November 08, 2008, 04:36 PM

Quote from: stardust on November 08, 2008, 03:39 PM
Hey, congrats! I was wondering how long have you been planning this? and how tricky was it etc, it seems you have a previous thread to this topic, could you please send me a link to it if there is one? thanks.

Hi Stardust, you can find marmalades previous threads, along with many other good topics at this link: Click here

The old posts were archived which is why you can't see them here, but you can over there.

Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
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Re: I am finally leaving my house...
Reply #14 - November 08, 2008, 05:45 PM

Good luck Marm and hope all goes well!

I just moved out of the house I've been sharing with my husband last week and I'll tell you it sure feels good!

The only advice I can give you regarding your family is to be firm and put your foot down when needed. Do not concede to any of their pleas or demands.

Hope it all goes well.

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Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day Give him a religion, and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish!
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