I hate myself
OP - November 14, 2008, 11:11 AM
my mum hates me, my dad hates me, my sisters hate me, my sister in law hates me, my brothers hate me, my brother in laws hate me, my wife hates me, my in laws hate me, my relatives hate me, my mates hate me, my mangers hate me, I'm useless. No one listens to me, I've told them I need to get out of here, they don't listen to me, I will kill myself I will do it, why don't they listen to me, I want to be left alone, I don't like it I can't do anything I need help. No one will listen to me, why are they doing this to me. I think something is wrong with me in my stomach I think I have something in it, I am bleeding from the inside, but I can't do anything I cant look after myself, all I know is wanting to be in peace.
I hate my brother in law, he thinks he is god or something I can't stand being around him he is always questioning what I am doing and makes shit up such a racist asshole, he will come and give me shit for having white friends, he says shit like he will beat them up, he tells my sister he wants to beat me up too, his younger then me, married to my younger sister but yet everyone allows all the shit he gives, he takes the piss out of my mum behind her back, calls her all sorts of things because she dresses like a westerner, he tries to preach to my mum about Islam and how a woman should not leave the house honestly he said this to my mum when my mum had to go to work, I was getting so pissed off. Yesterday he came into my room (without even knocking) and starts talking about of his ass and starts telling me how he beat up 3 white dudes, his always talkin bad about all the females in our family. He tries to indirectly threaten me, says shit like "there are pepole outside thats why I don't go outside they might beat me up" he thinks I don't go out cos am scared, sometimes I just don't go out I don't feel like going out. When I do go out he is swearing at me behind my back, and calls my in laws up (my father in law) and tells him EVERYTHING i do.
He said he wanted to go into where I work and tell the mangers to give me more shifts, he just wants me to work. He does not leave me alone, I can't even be alone for long as soon as he realizes I am home he will come down here, and start using my things, I want to play on the PS3 and he will be playing all day, and ask me to order food and stuff, he just takes control of everything, and spies my conversations on the phone, and this is how he treats my sister, I swear if he ever does anything to my sister I will beat his ass down. Fuck my dad he doesn't even give a shit same with my brother, no one fucking tries to stop him... I say we should ship his ass back to Pakistan see how he likes that.
Am just so depressed, I hate the way he talks aggressively and goes violent over nothing, he is trying to show me his hotheadedness, so I get scared or something. Its a fucking joke, the shit everyone lets him get away with.
He will say things like "I don't drink, I don't do drugs, and I don't gamble, who in this house can tell me I am wrong?" basically he is saying all this to me.
Topic: I hate myself