My parents often complain to me that marriages in the non-muslim world are more likely to break down or end up with infidelity. Hence they want me to marry a muslim and therefore have a 'secure' future. In order to do so, I must preserve my 'virginity'.
Obviously, the world outside Islam is freer and more advantageous for muslim women. But once they drop the shackles of religion, are they missing out on security and a devoted partner? I'm sure many western women convert to Islam for this so called security. Muslim men certainly trump the idea that their women are more 'respected', 'secure' and 'happy'. But I would personally prefer to be unhappy than be shacked to some man.
Islamic marriages last longer and seem more secure only because in many the women are subservient and see their place as taking authority from the man.
The wife in many cases would rather stay in the marriage, though she is suffering, rather than come out for then she will be viewed as dishonouring the family name.
She views it as her duty to keep the family together regardless of what she has to go through.
She sees her condition as the will of Allah thereby becoming ambivalent to her own happiness.
She sees that her only way to Jannat is through the footsteps of her husband. Muhammad says most women are in Hell because they are ungrateful to their husbands.
For these reasons, on the outside it may appear satistically that Islamic or arranged marriages last and are better than marriages of love. However happiness of the woman is not taken into consideration in such statistics.
I'd prefer a women have the option to have their divorce and live a happy life rather than remain subjugated and unhappy in a loveless marriage for the sake of religious and cultural honour.
The great Islamic scholar Al Ghazali puts marriage in its proper Islamic context as follows:
The woman is man's slave and her duty therefore is absolute obedience to the husband in all that he asks of her person. A woman, who at the moment of death enjoys the full approval of her husband, will find her place in Paradise. - Ihya' 'Uloum ed-Din by Ghazali.
I would marry the person you love and who loves you back and work hard at making it work.
Topic: 'Saving' women