hi...
OP - February 09, 2009, 06:00 AM
Hi,
I'm an apostate of Islam, i left islam whilst reading some materials at ffi.org. I used to call myself fundalmentalist years back before my apostasy. I used to practise islam, pray 5 times a day, fasting, and hoping that one day, when i die, i will go to heaven. I do this wholehartedly. Unfortunately, i cannot grasp the so-called beauty of islam, so i ask my dad how do i do it and my dad answered, "you can do it by learning arabic". So, from there on, i dreamed, wish and hope that one day, i might grasp the beauty of islam by learning arabic; but that dream never came true. however, Deep down i was courious as to "why do people left islam? "what is their reason?". I did not went on and do a research on these people as i thought that it is better for me to learn arabic first before doing a research on islam.
Never it occured in my mind that among all of the people, it is my cousin, that left islam. He started by asking questions about islam (can't remember what he ask, though.). His questions caused quite a stir among our famalies, and his friends. As a result, he got shun by his friends(kinda remaind me of 004.089: ...and choose no friend nor helper from among them ). Then, my turn came in, it all started from a couple of nightmare that i had that caused me to shout while i was asleep. My Dad was quick to gave me the anitdote, i.e. do the after-midnight prayer (tahajud) and read the quran before sleep. I did all that and nothing happends. But as i read the quran, i couldn't believe that there is such thing as God, angles and demon. As a result, my faith grows weaker and i began to force myslef to pray, fast and believe in Allah. I even told my dad the same thing and he encourage me to force myself to do so.
Then came the day, the day i will not forget, the day i became "these people". The day came when my curiousity overcome me. My curiousity got too strong that i just had to search about "these people". I went to yahoo! and typed ex-muslim, go to wikipedia and saw "faithfreedom". I clicked on that link and it somehow brings me a testimony about a girl, lived in Saudi, the way she describe the life there shooked me. Women couldn't drive, go to school and had to go through arrange marriage. I froze when i read that. When i'm done, i felt that as if it was the first time that i step my feet on the ground and the next day, i felt that the whole world was shaking. I got addicted to faithfreedom. Then i saw Ali Sina, he was debating and i had to check whether he was right or wrong. he was. I even tried to refute him, but it all ended when he replied "..stop lying to yourself...". I even went to the forum and sign in as 'sea', initially to defend islam, but when 'doubtless' replied my post, i immidiately confess my apostasy.
That is my story, however there is something i have to know, once there is girl that claimed she's sahara(she lived in Singapore, age around 20+). However there's someone told me that she's a gangster and she wanted to convert me be back to a muslim. I know that over here, BerberElla is Sahara(at ffi.org) and i wanted to know whether they are the same person. I hope she replies....
Topic: hi...