Being an ex muslim

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- Mixu Paatelainen
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Being an ex muslim
OP - April 14, 2009, 10:11 PM

How many people here still keep up a Muslim facade?

I do and its really irritating! I still go to mosque on Fridays and do the same actions that I used to but they just seem really bizarre and pointless now!

And I have to bite my tongue everytime there is a conversation about Islam!

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Re: Being an ex muslim
Reply #1 - April 14, 2009, 10:25 PM

Quote from: aliadiere on April 14, 2009, 10:11 PM
How many people here still keep up a Muslim facade?

I do and its really irritating! I still go to mosque on Fridays and do the same actions that I used to but they just seem really bizarre and pointless now!

And I have to bite my tongue everytime there is a conversation about Islam!

Thats very sad - are you in your early teens?

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- Mixu Paatelainen
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Re: Being an ex muslim
Reply #2 - April 14, 2009, 10:26 PM

Quote from: IsLame on April 14, 2009, 10:25 PM
Quote from: aliadiere on April 14, 2009, 10:11 PM
How many people here still keep up a Muslim facade?

I do and its really irritating! I still go to mosque on Fridays and do the same actions that I used to but they just seem really bizarre and pointless now!

And I have to bite my tongue everytime there is a conversation about Islam!

Thats very sad - are you in your early teens?

Haha! I'm 25. I don't think I could have made a decision like that in my early teens.

Religion - The hot potato that looked delicious but ended up burning your mouth!

Knock your head on the ground, don't be miserly in your prayers, listen to your Sidi Sheikh, Allahu Akbar! - Lounes Matoub
- AlmostAisha
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Re: Being an ex muslim
Reply #3 - April 14, 2009, 10:32 PM

Quote from: aliadiere on April 14, 2009, 10:11 PM
How many people here still keep up a Muslim facade?

I do and its really irritating! I still go to mosque on Fridays and do the same actions that I used to but they just seem really bizarre and pointless now!

And I have to bite my tongue everytime there is a conversation about Islam!

I can see that being terrible, having to lead the double-life. Why do you do it, for friends and family?

What do you intend to do when the time for marriage comes?

I understand the irritation at having to bite your tongue btw, it sucks.

"when you've got thousands of hadith/sunnah and a book like the Qur'an where abrogation is propagated by some; anyone with a grudge and some time on their hands can find something to confirm what ever they wish"- Kaiwai
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Re: Being an ex muslim
Reply #4 - April 14, 2009, 10:36 PM

Quote from: AlmostAisha on April 14, 2009, 10:32 PM

I can see that being terrible, having to lead the double-life. Why do you do it, for friends and family?

What do you intend to do when the time for marriage comes?

I understand the irritation at having to bite your tongue btw, it sucks.

The thing is, you would think it would be terrible but it isn't really. I am westernised, but I am also very comfortable with my culture and I only really do it for family because I know it would horrify my mum and dad. If they weren't alive, I probably wouldn't give a shit.

Going to mosque doesn't bother me, its a few minutes out of my Friday and doesn't mean anything to me. The annoying thing is when the conversation turns to Islam and I can't say what I want to say!

Religion - The hot potato that looked delicious but ended up burning your mouth!

Knock your head on the ground, don't be miserly in your prayers, listen to your Sidi Sheikh, Allahu Akbar! - Lounes Matoub
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Re: Being an ex muslim
Reply #5 - April 14, 2009, 10:45 PM

Quote from: aliadiere on April 14, 2009, 10:36 PM
Quote from: AlmostAisha on April 14, 2009, 10:32 PM

I can see that being terrible, having to lead the double-life. Why do you do it, for friends and family?

What do you intend to do when the time for marriage comes?

I understand the irritation at having to bite your tongue btw, it sucks.

The thing is, you would think it would be terrible but it isn't really. I am westernised, but I am also very comfortable with my culture and I only really do it for family because I know it would horrify my mum and dad. If they weren't alive, I probably wouldn't give a shit.

Going to mosque doesn't bother me, its a few minutes out of my Friday and doesn't mean anything to me. The annoying thing is when the conversation turns to Islam and I can't say what I want to say!

Well, maybe just going to mosque on Friday isn't too bad- I went to church for many years as a teenager after knowing that I didn't believe in it, purely for my mom's sake. It all depends on the amount of control you allow Islam to play in your life. It would be worse I guess if you were following every proper rule, from prayer 5 times a day to eating halaal food, not befriending the opposite sex, and every other detail of your life. The only way a person can put up with so many restrictions is if they fully believe in their heart of hearts that it's the truth from God. Or if they're willing to sacrifice their happiness for their parents'.

If you've managed to find a middle ground tho, then that's good

"when you've got thousands of hadith/sunnah and a book like the Qur'an where abrogation is propagated by some; anyone with a grudge and some time on their hands can find something to confirm what ever they wish"- Kaiwai
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Re: Being an ex muslim
Reply #6 - April 14, 2009, 10:46 PM

Would you bring your children up Muslim, though?

"when you've got thousands of hadith/sunnah and a book like the Qur'an where abrogation is propagated by some; anyone with a grudge and some time on their hands can find something to confirm what ever they wish"- Kaiwai
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Re: Being an ex muslim
Reply #7 - April 14, 2009, 10:48 PM

Quote from: AlmostAisha on April 14, 2009, 10:46 PM
Would you bring your children up Muslim, though?

I couldn't do that. That would be totally and utterly hypocritical.

Religion - The hot potato that looked delicious but ended up burning your mouth!

Knock your head on the ground, don't be miserly in your prayers, listen to your Sidi Sheikh, Allahu Akbar! - Lounes Matoub
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Re: Being an ex muslim
Reply #8 - April 14, 2009, 11:16 PM

Quote from: aliadiere on April 14, 2009, 10:48 PM
Quote from: AlmostAisha on April 14, 2009, 10:46 PM
Would you bring your children up Muslim, though?

I couldn't do that. That would be totally and utterly hypocritical.

Well that's good... but then how would you justify that to your parents?
Sorry I don't mean to interrogate, I'm just curious about this difficult kind of situation...

I hope it all works out well

"when you've got thousands of hadith/sunnah and a book like the Qur'an where abrogation is propagated by some; anyone with a grudge and some time on their hands can find something to confirm what ever they wish"- Kaiwai
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Re: Being an ex muslim
Reply #9 - April 14, 2009, 11:24 PM

Quote from: AlmostAisha on April 14, 2009, 11:16 PM
Well that's good... but then how would you justify that to your parents?
Sorry I don't mean to interrogate, I'm just curious about this difficult kind of situation...

I hope it all works out well

I'm not planning on having kids for a while but i'll haev to see what happens when it comes to it! I don't know what I would do!

Religion - The hot potato that looked delicious but ended up burning your mouth!

Knock your head on the ground, don't be miserly in your prayers, listen to your Sidi Sheikh, Allahu Akbar! - Lounes Matoub
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Re: Being an ex muslim
Reply #10 - April 15, 2009, 06:15 AM

Quote from: aliadiere on April 14, 2009, 10:36 PM
I only really do it for family because I know it would horrify my mum and dad. If they weren't alive, I probably wouldn't give a shit.

Going to mosque doesn't bother me, its a few minutes out of my Friday and doesn't mean anything to me. The annoying thing is when the conversation turns to Islam and I can't say what I want to say!

Well, aliadiere, I guess its best to tell your mum & dad, even if it horrifies them. My mom isn't an apostate, she's a nominal Muslim & she too was scared that it would horrify her parents when she tols them she was seeing a non Muslim & was planning to marry him, but then people whom you love & respect shouldn't be kept in the dark forever either.

Your mum & dad are alive now, Inshallah they'll live for many, many years & you'll enjoy having their love, company & support in your life for many years.

But living a lie as big as this is like living with a noose around your neck. Try to bring up the subject slowly, carefully & go one step at a time. Most probably they'll be very disappointed & perhaps wonder what they did wrong, whether they should've brought you up more strictly, but its really disrespecting them to think that they'll not get over it.

The other option is pretending now, when you're married, when you have kids, as they grow up...a lifetime of pretense, deceit & hypocrisy.

But you'll probably always have to hold your tongue a bit with friends & family-even if you can diplomatically get your view across once in a while, because they're all going to still have their Islamic beliefs intact & unless you want to be a pariah by holding views diametrically opposite to theirs & upsetting every conversation, you'll probably have to keep silent sometimes.

World renowned historian Will Durant"...the Islamic conquest of India is probably the bloodiest story in history. It is a discouraging tale, for its evident moral is that civilization is a precious good, whose delicate complex order and freedom can at any moment be overthrown..."
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Re: Being an ex muslim
Reply #11 - April 15, 2009, 11:17 AM

I have to pretend to be a muslim to most of my family, apart from my sister and a few other youngsters. I live away from home mostly so it's not a big problem for me atm. I will have to come out to my parents fully at some point though as I have my own marital partner in mind.

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