To intervene or not to intervene?

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To intervene or not to intervene?
OP - May 25, 2009, 12:28 PM

Had a nice chat with an old friend who's been a cop for about ten years. He said responding to Domestic calls were the worst because the women always turn on the cops when the man is cuffed, and the bite and scratch, causing wounds that always require medical attention for fear of infection.

That got me thinking about all the times, I or other guys have tried to intervene when a guy starts getting violent with his girl (this is mostly at bars and social functions) and in many, many cases, the girl turns on the person who tries to help.

So I guess the question is, do you think twice before intervening in such situations?

See related story below:

By O?Ryan Johnson
Sunday, May 24, 2009 - Updated 1m ago

An off-duty Boston police officer was viciously punished for her good deed when she responded to a beaten woman?s cries for help only to be attacked by the woman and her boyfriend, police said yesterday.

The officer was walking through the Back Bay about 11 p.m. Friday when she heard a woman calling for help, police said.

The officer followed the cries to a basement stairwell at the First Baptist Church near Commonwealth Avenue and Clarendon Street, where she saw the couple fighting, identified herself as a police officer and ordered them to stop.

Police said it was then the tables were turned on the officer. Both the man and woman attacked, biting and punching her before they fled into the night.

The dazed officer walked back to the street and dialed 911. Responding cops caught up to the alleged female attacker minutes later and a few blocks away.

Police identified her as Molly Jean Maynard, 29, of Brockton. She coughed up the name of her male companion and police spent the night searching for him. At about 6:45 a.m. yesterday, cops spotted the male suspect, Oscar Moore, 43, of Boston, on Newbury Street, where he was arrested, police said.

Both were charged with assault and battery on a police officer. They are expected to be arraigned Tuesday in Boston Municipal Court.

The officer was treated for facial injuries at Brigham & Women?s Hospital.

"By the One in Whose Hand my soul is, were you not to commit sins, Allah would replace you with a people who would commit sins and then seek forgiveness from Allah; and Allah would forgive them." [Saheeh Muslim]

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Re: To intervene or not to intervene?
Reply #1 - May 25, 2009, 04:01 PM

Intervene, always, at least I would. It's a shame that people open themselves up to attack in the simple act of helping another, but there are risks in everything.

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Re: To intervene or not to intervene?
Reply #2 - May 25, 2009, 04:47 PM

Quote
He said responding to Domestic calls were the worst because the women always turn on the cops when the man is cuffed

Always? The worst? So armed robbers and gang bangers are better to deal with than an unarmed woman and her fingernails?

I think your friend is guilty of hyperbole. However, if he really finds women that scary he should just wait outside the door till the husband has beaten her unconscious, and that way she won't be able to bite or scratch.

"Befriend them not, Oh murtads, and give them neither parrot nor bunny." - happymurtad's advice on trolls.
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Re: To intervene or not to intervene?
Reply #3 - May 25, 2009, 05:01 PM

Quote from: Cheetah on May 25, 2009, 04:47 PM
Quote
He said responding to Domestic calls were the worst because the women always turn on the cops when the man is cuffed

Always? The worst? So armed robbers and gang bangers are better to deal with than an unarmed woman and her fingernails?

I think your friend is guilty of hyperbole. However, if he really finds women that scary he should just wait outside the door till the husband has beaten her unconscious, and that way she won't be able to bite or scratch.

Good point, totally missed that angle. True because I don't ever remember attacking the police when they were called out to my domestics.

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Re: To intervene or not to intervene?
Reply #4 - May 25, 2009, 05:01 PM

Quote from: Cheetah on May 25, 2009, 04:47 PM
Quote
He said responding to Domestic calls were the worst because the women always turn on the cops when the man is cuffed

Always? The worst? So armed robbers and gang bangers are better to deal with than an unarmed woman and her fingernails?

I think your friend is guilty of hyperbole. However, if he really finds women that scary he should just wait outside the door till the husband has beaten her unconscious, and that way she won't be able to bite or scratch.

Hyperbole is of course a possibility, but I can promise you that Ive personally witnessed this strange phenomenon many times.

"By the One in Whose Hand my soul is, were you not to commit sins, Allah would replace you with a people who would commit sins and then seek forgiveness from Allah; and Allah would forgive them." [Saheeh Muslim]

"Wherever you are, death will find you, Even in the looming tower."
- Quran 4:78
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Re: To intervene or not to intervene?
Reply #5 - May 25, 2009, 05:04 PM

Quote from: Cheetah on May 25, 2009, 04:47 PM
Quote
He said responding to Domestic calls were the worst because the women always turn on the cops when the man is cuffed

Always? The worst? So armed robbers and gang bangers are better to deal with than an unarmed woman and her fingernails?

I think it probably has to do with the context ie. you may be on the receiving end of violence from the victim as well.

Its hard to cuff a guy when the girlfriend turns on you

"By the One in Whose Hand my soul is, were you not to commit sins, Allah would replace you with a people who would commit sins and then seek forgiveness from Allah; and Allah would forgive them." [Saheeh Muslim]

"Wherever you are, death will find you, Even in the looming tower."
- Quran 4:78
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Re: To intervene or not to intervene?
Reply #6 - May 25, 2009, 05:54 PM

Yes, I would always intervene if the husband was beating the shit out of his wife - no matter the consequences.

I have no experience of women reacting in this way. But I do have experience of men beating their wife. :(
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Re: To intervene or not to intervene?
Reply #7 - May 25, 2009, 05:56 PM

Stupid cop. by now they should learn how to approach the situation. I know when bouncing at a club, the worst fights are between gay men, the fruitier the more viscious. Then women fighting then men fighting.

When guys are fighting, they stop when one guy wins. When women fight, they get too emotional to stop. When gay guys fight, they get too emotional, yet they still fight with the strength of men. Each type of fight, you approach it differently and always always move in with numbers and overwhelming strength.

As a normal person, or even a bouncer, you should move in to help the woman. The cop has to deal with the added complication that he/she is a cop with the all the bad reputation cops usually have, for being crooks, bullies, tyrants, cons and hoodlum with badges.

"Ask the slave girl; she will tell you the truth.' So the Apostle called Burayra to ask her. Ali got up and gave her a violent beating first, saying, 'Tell the Apostle the truth.'"
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Re: To intervene or not to intervene?
Reply #8 - May 25, 2009, 06:25 PM

Quote from: Baal on May 25, 2009, 05:56 PM
Stupid cop. by now they should learn how to approach the situation. I know when bouncing at a club, the worst fights are between gay men, the fruitier the more viscious. Then women fighting then men fighting.

When guys are fighting, they stop when one guy wins. When women fight, they get too emotional to stop. When gay guys fight, they get too emotional, yet they still fight with the strength of men. Each type of fight, you approach it differently and always always move in with numbers and overwhelming strength.

As a normal person, or even a bouncer, you should move in to help the woman. The cop has to deal with the added complication that he/she is a cop with the all the bad reputation cops usually have, for being crooks, bullies, tyrants, cons and hoodlum with badges.

Have you ever broken up couples fighting?

"By the One in Whose Hand my soul is, were you not to commit sins, Allah would replace you with a people who would commit sins and then seek forgiveness from Allah; and Allah would forgive them." [Saheeh Muslim]

"Wherever you are, death will find you, Even in the looming tower."
- Quran 4:78
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Re: To intervene or not to intervene?
Reply #9 - May 25, 2009, 06:31 PM

Quote from: Arab-Wannabe on May 25, 2009, 06:25 PM
Have you ever broken up couples fighting?

Twice.

Once was a moroccan friend and his wife.

The other was my dad and mum. (I was 10 years old)
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Re: To intervene or not to intervene?
Reply #10 - May 25, 2009, 06:38 PM

Quote from: Hassan on May 25, 2009, 06:31 PM
Quote from: Arab-Wannabe on May 25, 2009, 06:25 PM
Have you ever broken up couples fighting?

Twice.

Once was a moroccan friend and his wife.

The other was my dad and mum. (I was 10 years old)

So Hassan could manage it as a 10 year old and AW's friend can't, even though he's a fully grown man and a cop. AW, maybe your friend is in the wrong job?

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Re: To intervene or not to intervene?
Reply #11 - May 25, 2009, 07:28 PM

Quote from: Cheetah on May 25, 2009, 06:38 PM
Quote from: Hassan on May 25, 2009, 06:31 PM
Quote from: Arab-Wannabe on May 25, 2009, 06:25 PM
Have you ever broken up couples fighting?

Twice.

Once was a moroccan friend and his wife.

The other was my dad and mum. (I was 10 years old)

So Hassan could manage it as a 10 year old and AW's friend can't, even though he's a fully grown man and a cop. AW, maybe your friend is in the wrong job?

Guess so, eh?

"By the One in Whose Hand my soul is, were you not to commit sins, Allah would replace you with a people who would commit sins and then seek forgiveness from Allah; and Allah would forgive them." [Saheeh Muslim]

"Wherever you are, death will find you, Even in the looming tower."
- Quran 4:78
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Re: To intervene or not to intervene?
Reply #12 - May 25, 2009, 07:30 PM

Quote from: Cheetah on May 25, 2009, 06:38 PM
Quote from: Hassan on May 25, 2009, 06:31 PM
Quote from: Arab-Wannabe on May 25, 2009, 06:25 PM
Have you ever broken up couples fighting?

Twice.

Once was a moroccan friend and his wife.

The other was my dad and mum. (I was 10 years old)

So Hassan could manage it as a 10 year old and AW's friend can't, even though he's a fully grown man and a cop. AW, maybe your friend is in the wrong job?

Id say the off-duty police officer is also in the wrong job, what a pussy!

Cheeta's so smart

"By the One in Whose Hand my soul is, were you not to commit sins, Allah would replace you with a people who would commit sins and then seek forgiveness from Allah; and Allah would forgive them." [Saheeh Muslim]

"Wherever you are, death will find you, Even in the looming tower."
- Quran 4:78
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Re: To intervene or not to intervene?
Reply #13 - May 25, 2009, 07:32 PM

Yeah, well, I don't want to be nasty about it, but maybe he'd be better suited to issuing parking tickets.

As for your OP question, yes I would intervene somehow, either turn a hose on them or something, or call the police (and hope your friend doesn't turn up ).

Quote
Id say the off-duty police officer is also in the wrong job, what a pussy!

Cheeta's so smart

That's not a fair comparison, because that's one incident - I don't hear that off duty cop complaining that she can't handle domestic violence in general.

Your friend, OTOH, says that they are "the worst" and the woman "always" turns on him. Bottom line - domestic violence is illegal, he's a cop so its his job to deal with it. If he can't stand the heat, etc.

"Befriend them not, Oh murtads, and give them neither parrot nor bunny." - happymurtad's advice on trolls.
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Re: To intervene or not to intervene?
Reply #14 - May 25, 2009, 07:37 PM

Quote from: Arab-Wannabe on May 25, 2009, 06:25 PM
Quote from: Baal on May 25, 2009, 05:56 PM
Stupid cop. by now they should learn how to approach the situation. I know when bouncing at a club, the worst fights are between gay men, the fruitier the more viscious. Then women fighting then men fighting.

When guys are fighting, they stop when one guy wins. When women fight, they get too emotional to stop. When gay guys fight, they get too emotional, yet they still fight with the strength of men. Each type of fight, you approach it differently and always always move in with numbers and overwhelming strength.

As a normal person, or even a bouncer, you should move in to help the woman. The cop has to deal with the added complication that he/she is a cop with the all the bad reputation cops usually have, for being crooks, bullies, tyrants, cons and hoodlum with badges.

Have you ever broken up couples fighting?

Never had to.

As a bouncer in a pub, i had to break strangers, and groups of strangers.
Personally, I beat up Four muggers once, and a dealer that tried to stiff me. That's about it.

"Ask the slave girl; she will tell you the truth.' So the Apostle called Burayra to ask her. Ali got up and gave her a violent beating first, saying, 'Tell the Apostle the truth.'"
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Re: To intervene or not to intervene?
Reply #15 - May 25, 2009, 07:39 PM

Quote from: Baal on May 25, 2009, 07:37 PM
Personally, I beat up Four muggers once, and a dealer that tried to stiff me. That's about it.

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