Being ex-Muslim 3 years on

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- cosmicdancer
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Re: Being ex-Muslim 3 years on
Reply #30 - July 08, 2009, 12:05 PM

Quote from: 20yearstoolong on July 08, 2009, 11:20 AM
The other problem I've encountered is that there isn't enough literature for ex-muslims to read which reflects their circumstances. There is plenty of material for atheists who come from a judeo/christian background but thats about it

Very true - hopefully we can start to correct that.

Oh and Welcome - and thanks for sharing
- Saif Rahman
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Re: Being ex-Muslim 3 years on
Reply #31 - July 08, 2009, 12:52 PM

Quote from: 20yearstoolong on July 08, 2009, 11:20 AM
My wife has asked me not to broadcast my atheism because of the shame that it might bring on the family etc etc. There are only a handful of people in my family that know as well as my non-muslim friends. My muslim friends don't know and I don't see the point in telling them anyway. I live in a northern city in england which has a very large muslim minority

I am based in Manchester, are you anywhere nearby? My story is similar to yours from say 12 years of age onwards and we are similar ages. The only difference being that I did not pick up religion again at 28 and I remain agnostic, but I am curious to know to why you did that when your teenage doubts had not been solved?

Also where does your wife stand with religion now? I started by telling close friends, now I tell anyone & everyone that will listen - I think their comes a time when you wonder why you have to be embarrassed for being you, particular when you have thought long & harder than most about it. By being open, we can all make others have an easier ride than we had and perhaps even help a few who are faces similar struggles along the way.

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Re: Being ex-Muslim 3 years on
Reply #32 - July 08, 2009, 01:06 PM

I live in Bradford which is a hotbed for zealots. Even if there are not any zealots just the thought of someone being an open atheist who has denounced Islam is enough to get the worst uneducated thug on the war path. Two of my best friends are devout practising muslims who would probably find it shocking to say the least that I have apostated. Not to mention the whole can of worms that would open up which would include the following:-

1 - Saying things like my nikkah is no longer valid and looking down at my wife and kids for staying with me.

2 - Letting the rest of my friends know that I am an apostate and to shun me.

3 - My kids would most likely get teased at school for their father being a "kafir" I could take most things but this I can't.

4 - People not taking me seriously any longer because they would conclude that my atheism means that I'm no longer a moral person.

5 - Besides what benefit would it be to them even if I did tell them. They are the type of people who would condemn people who don't follow the same sect to hell fire nevermind an apostate.

It's really only on a need to know basis. If I can judge that the person thinks the same way or that their views are relaxed only then will I divulge.
- PeruvianSkies
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Re: Being ex-Muslim 3 years on
Reply #33 - July 08, 2009, 01:10 PM

Is there any chance you can move away?

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Re: Being ex-Muslim 3 years on
Reply #34 - July 08, 2009, 01:17 PM

I've thought about Canada a few times and possibly northern europe such as Norway or Denmark. They are a bit more tolerant over there I think.
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Re: Being ex-Muslim 3 years on
Reply #35 - July 08, 2009, 01:20 PM

Cool. England is generally quite tolerant too, it's just areas like Bradford that aren't. Can you not just move to another city for now?

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Re: Being ex-Muslim 3 years on
Reply #36 - July 08, 2009, 01:24 PM

I suppose I would have to wait until my daughter completes her GCSE's. I don't want to disrupt her education. So moving will have to wait.
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Re: Being ex-Muslim 3 years on
Reply #37 - July 08, 2009, 01:35 PM

Fair enough I guess. I wish you all the luck in the future

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Re: Being ex-Muslim 3 years on
Reply #38 - July 08, 2009, 01:36 PM

Quote from: 20yearstoolong on July 08, 2009, 01:06 PM
I live in Bradford which is a hotbed for zealots.

Well, Bradford is a different story.

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Re: Being ex-Muslim 3 years on
Reply #39 - August 09, 2009, 04:58 PM

I think wherever you go, you are bound to come across muslim families, and they always have certain assumptions. One of which is that you believe in god. It's just a given. One must also think about partner and kids. Your wife might not want to move to an area where there isnt a large muslim minority. If I were single, it would have been a different situation.
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Re: Being ex-Muslim 3 years on
Reply #40 - August 09, 2009, 05:24 PM

Quote from: 20yearstoolong on July 08, 2009, 01:24 PM
I suppose I would have to wait until my daughter completes her GCSE's. I don't want to disrupt her education. So moving will have to wait.

London is very tolerant.
The South does not have a large Muslim population but it is there and does have very good colleges and Universities for your daughter.

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- pakman
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Re: Being ex-Muslim 3 years on
Reply #41 - August 09, 2009, 05:28 PM

Thanks for sharing '20yearstoolong' I felt I could relate to much of your story. I am also surrounded by traditional idiots and it is suffocating. I would love to leave my town and start all over again but my kids keep me here. So sad. Would love to chat some more.

Take the Pakman challenge and convince me there is a God and Mo was not a murdering, power hungry sex maniac.
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Re: Being ex-Muslim 3 years on
Reply #42 - August 09, 2009, 05:56 PM

Quote from: pakman on August 09, 2009, 05:28 PM
Thanks for sharing '20yearstoolong' I felt I could relate to much of your story. I am also surrounded by traditional idiots and it is suffocating. I would love to leave my town and start all over again but my kids keep me here. So sad. Would love to chat some more.

You know I'm quite certain we are just the tip of the ice-berg. Sadly most Muslims who no-longer believe or have deep and serious doubts have no choice but to keep up the pretence of being a 'good Muslim' - even to themselves.
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Re: Being ex-Muslim 3 years on
Reply #43 - August 09, 2009, 08:08 PM

My advice; get out of Yorkshire/Lancashire!

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

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Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day Give him a religion, and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish!
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Re: Being ex-Muslim 3 years on
Reply #44 - August 09, 2009, 08:11 PM

Bradford is about the worst place to be for an ex-Muslim

Take the Pakman challenge and convince me there is a God and Mo was not a murdering, power hungry sex maniac.
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Re: Being ex-Muslim 3 years on
Reply #45 - August 09, 2009, 08:33 PM

I'm sure there are plenty like me in Bradford who simply keep quiet about it.
- kope
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Re: Being ex-Muslim 3 years on
Reply #46 - August 09, 2009, 08:37 PM

why cant you do that?

please read my blog, read how islam will win
the clash of civilization.

http://www.xanga.com/hfghj23458654fgha
- Saif Rahman
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Re: Being ex-Muslim 3 years on
Reply #47 - August 09, 2009, 08:40 PM

Quote from: Meredith on August 09, 2009, 05:24 PM
London is very tolerant.

I've lived there - have you ever been to Tower Hamlets?
Quote from: Nour on August 09, 2009, 08:08 PM
My advice; get out of Yorkshire/Lancashire!

Hey I live in Lancashire. Its just a matter of picking a decent suburb, you can get problems anywhere you go.

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- pakman
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Re: Being ex-Muslim 3 years on
Reply #48 - August 09, 2009, 08:45 PM

York is nice as in Harrogate, North Cheshire is not bad too.

Take the Pakman challenge and convince me there is a God and Mo was not a murdering, power hungry sex maniac.
- kope
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Re: Being ex-Muslim 3 years on
Reply #49 - August 09, 2009, 09:40 PM

i thing atheists should move to atheist's n korea nobody will bother you

please read my blog, read how islam will win
the clash of civilization.

http://www.xanga.com/hfghj23458654fgha
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Re: Being ex-Muslim 3 years on
Reply #50 - August 10, 2009, 06:05 AM

i thing not...

...
- HenriMonier
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Re: Being ex-Muslim 3 years on
Reply #51 - August 10, 2009, 06:15 AM

On that note Kope, where do you live? I hope it's not India, India is a hindu country!

Or Britain or anywhere in Europe or America or Oceania or Africa or most of Asia.....

(see where I'm going with this?).

"I am ready to make my confession. I ask for no forgiveness father, for I have not sinned. I have only done what I needed to do to survive. I did not ask for the life that I was given, but it was given nonetheless-and with it, I did my best"
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Re: Being ex-Muslim 3 years on
Reply #52 - August 10, 2009, 04:16 PM

Quote from: IsLame on August 09, 2009, 08:40 PM
I've lived there - have you ever been to Tower Hamlets?

Nope but that is within travelling distance of where i live.

Blind faith is an ironic gift to return to the Creator of human intelligence
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