Skip navigation
Sidebar -

Advanced search options →
↑ ↓
CEMB → Forum → Welcome to the forum → The Lounge → Got caught today!

Welcome

Welcome to CEMB forum.
Please login or register. Did you miss your activation email?

Donations

Help keep the Forum going!
Click on Kitty to donate:

Kitty is lost

Recent Posts

Lights on the way
by akay
Yesterday at 10:04 PM
Gaza assault
Yesterday at 10:04 AM
AMRIKAAA Land of Free .....
February 03, 2025, 09:25 AM
The origins of Judaism
by zeca
February 02, 2025, 04:29 PM
Qur'anic studies today
by zeca
February 01, 2025, 11:48 PM
New Britain
February 01, 2025, 11:27 PM
Random Islamic History Po...
by zeca
February 01, 2025, 07:29 PM
اضواء على الطريق ....... ...
by akay
February 01, 2025, 11:55 AM
Do humans have needed kno...
January 30, 2025, 10:33 AM
News From Syria
by zeca
December 28, 2024, 12:29 AM
Mo Salah
December 26, 2024, 05:30 AM
What music are you listen...
by zeca
December 25, 2024, 10:58 AM

Theme Changer

 Topic: Got caught today!

 (Read 4252 times)
  • 1« Previous thread | Next thread »
  • Got caught today!
     OP - October 09, 2009, 03:45 PM
    On my way back from work, I was walking through Birmingham City Centre and I walked past a shop called "Urban Pie". I thought that I might try that, so I walked in and ordered a Lamb and Rosemary Pie (which was beautiful might I add). Anyway, I was eating my pie and my cousin who works in a shop nearby saw me through the window and walked in. He saw what I was eating and said "What you eating that for?!!!"

    I think I blagged it, luckily. I said that I had heard so much about this place and I really wanted to try it and I gave in. Then I went on to say that everyone sins. I told him that not eating haram and not drinking are not the only 2 points of being a Muslim and there are much worse sins.

    So, somehow, I managed to give him an Islamic lecture while eating a haram lamb and rosemary pie!
    Religion - The hot potato that looked delicious but ended up burning your mouth!

    Knock your head on the ground, don't be miserly in your prayers, listen to your Sidi Sheikh, Allahu Akbar! - Lounes Matoub
  • Re: Got caught today!
     Reply #1 - October 09, 2009, 03:59 PM
     Cheesy

    All that trouble for something NOT containing pork in the first place
    Pakistan Zindabad? ya Pakistan sey Zinda bhaag?

    Long Live Pakistan? Or run with your lives from Pakistan?
  • Re: Got caught today!
     Reply #2 - October 09, 2009, 04:08 PM
    If I was going to get caught by anyone, I would prefer it to be him. He's a bit of a rebel himself anyway.
    Religion - The hot potato that looked delicious but ended up burning your mouth!

    Knock your head on the ground, don't be miserly in your prayers, listen to your Sidi Sheikh, Allahu Akbar! - Lounes Matoub
  • Re: Got caught today!
     Reply #3 - October 09, 2009, 04:21 PM
    Quote from: aliadiere on October 09, 2009, 03:45 PM
    On my way back from work, I was walking through Birmingham City Centre and I walked past a shop called "Urban Pie". I thought that I might try that, so I walked in and ordered a Lamb and Rosemary Pie (which was beautiful might I add). Anyway, I was eating my pie and my cousin who works in a shop nearby saw me through the window and walked in. He saw what I was eating and said "What you eating that for?!!!"

    I think I blagged it, luckily. I said that I had heard so much about this place and I really wanted to try it and I gave in. Then I went on to say that everyone sins. I told him that not eating haram and not drinking are not the only 2 points of being a Muslim and there are much worse sins.

    So, somehow, I managed to give him an Islamic lecture while eating a haram lamb and rosemary pie!


    I hate the way some Muslims seem to be self appointed squads of "Vice & Virtue".

    I remember a Moroccan brother I used to see sometimes in Food Giant in Cricklewood would check my shopping trolly and pull out something saying things like "This contains Haram E numbers brother!"

    I felt like pushing it in his face - but as a teacher at Islamia School I didn't want him to start making trouble for me.

    Just one of the reasons I had to get away from that place.

    Mind you I'd love to see him now and tell him where to shove his "E" numbers.
  • Re: Got caught today!
     Reply #4 - October 09, 2009, 04:28 PM
    Lol, I know what you mean. I hate going shopping with my oldest sister because she checks absolutely everything.

    To be fair my cousin isn't judgmental or anything like that. He thinks there are two pillars of Islam, not five. And they are "No Haram Meat" and "No Alcohol". He has a non-Muslim girlfriend and brings her home to his parents house, goes clubbing, doesn't pray, doesn't fast etc. But for some reason, he is very strict about halal meat and alcohol. It made me laugh once in Ramadhan when I saw him in the Halal Subway. I thought that was ironic seeing as he was not religious enough to fast but religious enough to go to the Halal Subway rather than any other one!
    Religion - The hot potato that looked delicious but ended up burning your mouth!

    Knock your head on the ground, don't be miserly in your prayers, listen to your Sidi Sheikh, Allahu Akbar! - Lounes Matoub
  • Re: Got caught today!
     Reply #5 - October 09, 2009, 04:33 PM
    I thought this was going to be a thread about masturbation.
    fuck you
  • Re: Got caught today!
     Reply #6 - October 09, 2009, 04:35 PM
    Haha! I can honestly say I have never been caught masturbating!
    Religion - The hot potato that looked delicious but ended up burning your mouth!

    Knock your head on the ground, don't be miserly in your prayers, listen to your Sidi Sheikh, Allahu Akbar! - Lounes Matoub
  • Re: Got caught today!
     Reply #7 - October 09, 2009, 04:36 PM
    Yet!
    "Befriend them not, Oh murtads, and give them neither parrot nor bunny."  - happymurtad's advice on trolls.
  • Re: Got caught today!
     Reply #8 - October 09, 2009, 05:27 PM
    Quote from: Hassan on October 09, 2009, 04:21 PM
    I hate the way some Muslims seem to be self appointed squads of "Vice & Virtue".

    I remember a Moroccan brother I used to see sometimes in Food Giant in Cricklewood would check my shopping trolly and pull out something saying things like "This contains Haram E numbers brother!"

    I felt like pushing it in his face - but as a teacher at Islamia School I didn't want him to start making trouble for me.

    Just one of the reasons I had to get away from that place.

    Mind you I'd love to see him now and tell him where to shove his "E" numbers.


    What a f'cking liberty! The guy went through your shopping trolley!. Akhi! you are way too modest. Muslim or not I would have run him over with the same trolley that he was snooping in!
  • Re: Got caught today!
     Reply #9 - October 09, 2009, 05:32 PM
    Quote from: Hassan on October 09, 2009, 04:21 PM
    I hate the way some Muslims seem to be self appointed squads of "Vice & Virtue".

    I remember a Moroccan brother I used to see sometimes in Food Giant in Cricklewood would check my shopping trolly and pull out something saying things like "This contains Haram E numbers brother!"

    I felt like pushing it in his face - but as a teacher at Islamia School I didn't want him to start making trouble for me.

    Just one of the reasons I had to get away from that place.

    Mind you I'd love to see him now and tell him where to shove his "E" numbers.


    Next time you run into him while  shopping make sure you by this:

    ...
  • Re: Got caught today!
     Reply #10 - October 09, 2009, 06:36 PM

    I find these stories, and these examples of petty moral policing, to be creepy, and a kind of psychosis.

    "we can smell traitors and country haters"


    Quote from: arX on May 01, 2011, 03:33 AM
    God is Love.
    Love is Blind. Stevie Wonder is blind. Therefore, Stevie Wonder is God.

  • Re: Got caught today!
     Reply #11 - October 09, 2009, 07:50 PM

    Delineating the kind of food that you can eat is the simplest and most basic way to to delineate you from other humans. Clean / Unclean. Muslim / Kaffir.

    Maybe it is only a psychosis in the most creepy type of people, but it is part of a generalised neurotic atmosphere many muslims experience living amongst non Muslims.

    "we can smell traitors and country haters"


    Quote from: arX on May 01, 2011, 03:33 AM
    God is Love.
    Love is Blind. Stevie Wonder is blind. Therefore, Stevie Wonder is God.

  • Re: Got caught today!
     Reply #12 - October 09, 2009, 07:55 PM
    What I don't understand though is people who do not give a shit about anything Islamic yet are very strict about Halal and Haram food. We all know that Muslims believe the difference between a Muslim and a Kafir is prayer. So by not praying, these people are on the line between Muslim and Kafir yet they care more about a relatively minor sin than praying. What is the reason for this? I'm sure this attitude is much more prevalent amongst South Asians than other Muslims.
    Religion - The hot potato that looked delicious but ended up burning your mouth!

    Knock your head on the ground, don't be miserly in your prayers, listen to your Sidi Sheikh, Allahu Akbar! - Lounes Matoub
  • Re: Got caught today!
     Reply #13 - October 09, 2009, 08:41 PM
    I find South Asians are much more militant about Halal food than others. The amount of times I've seen Pakistani piss heads enter a takeaway and ask if the meat is halal.
    Take the Pakman challenge and convince me there is a God and Mo was not a murdering, power hungry sex maniac.
  • Re: Got caught today!
     Reply #14 - October 09, 2009, 09:05 PM
    Quote from: pakman on October 09, 2009, 08:41 PM
    I find South Asians are much more militant about Halal food than others. The amount of times I've seen Pakistani piss heads enter a takeaway and ask if the meat is halal.


    Yeah, I never did get that. Muslims will drink and won't flinch, but won't eat pork etc. I think it might be the notion they have, that the pig is a dirty animal.
  • Re: Got caught today!
     Reply #15 - October 09, 2009, 09:26 PM
    Quote from: pakman on October 09, 2009, 08:41 PM
    I find South Asians are much more militant about Halal food than others. The amount of times I've seen Pakistani piss heads enter a takeaway and ask if the meat is halal.


    I remember some bruhaha last year about donner kebab meat being tested in a lab and it contained a percentage of PORK! lol

    Can't remember who the supplier of Donner Kebab was but apparently someone tested the meat and the results were not very halal. Dunno if anyone else here remembers it? It was in an asian based newspaper and plus txt messages were also being sent out to a lot of people.
    The last stand of frej
  • Re: Got caught today!
     Reply #16 - October 09, 2009, 09:29 PM
    Donner kebab contains PORK!?!?!?  Wala howla wala kuwat!!!  finmad
    .
  • Re: Got caught today!
     Reply #17 - October 09, 2009, 09:37 PM
    Not sure if its true or the pork got in their by mistake.  As far as I know donner kebab meat is produced by squishing together off-cuts in meat factories e.g. skin, meat (that no-one uses) , offal etc.
    My Book     news002       
    My Blog  pccoffee
  • Re: Got caught today!
     Reply #18 - October 09, 2009, 10:58 PM
    This has nothing to do with the flow of the thread, but I remembered a story my uncle told me about him being in a Chinese restaurant with business partners, and he trying to make a joke of the waitress. So he asked her, pointing to a pork-containing meal in the menu(can't remember what it was exactly), "Is this Halal?" she replied "Yes, yes of course!!!"  Cheesy
    "In every time and culture there are pressures to conform to the prevailing prejudices. But there are also, in every place and epoch, those who value the truth; who record the evidence faithfully. Future generations are in their debt." -Carl Sagan

  • Re: Got caught today!
     Reply #19 - October 10, 2009, 01:38 AM
    Quote from: Hassan on October 09, 2009, 04:21 PM
    I hate the way some Muslims seem to be self appointed squads of "Vice & Virtue".

    I remember a Moroccan brother I used to see sometimes in Food Giant in Cricklewood would check my shopping trolly and pull out something saying things like "This contains Haram E numbers brother!"

    I felt like pushing it in his face - but as a teacher at Islamia School I didn't want him to start making trouble for me.

    Just one of the reasons I had to get away from that place.

    Mind you I'd love to see him now and tell him where to shove his "E" numbers.


    Haram e-numbers LOOOOOOOOOOOL
  • Re: Got caught today!
     Reply #20 - October 10, 2009, 02:36 AM
    Quote from: pakman on October 09, 2009, 08:41 PM
    I find South Asians are much more militant about Halal food than others. The amount of times I've seen Pakistani piss heads enter a takeaway and ask if the meat is halal.


    I think it has to be related, somehow, to the general culture of food, particularly with meat, in the subcontinent, don't you?  I mean, you have Arabs who will go out and eat just about anything except a slice of ham, saying "Just say bismillah on it!", but then I have met Asians (very religious ones) who are even suspicious about the meat in Muslim countries.  I knew a guy who went behind the counter at the grocery store and quizzed them about the source of the meat (they don't, obviously, slaughter at the grocery store).  It was nerve wracking being around them.  The bottom line was that nothing was ever good enough, Islamic enough for them. 
    [this space for rent]
  • Re: Got caught today!
     Reply #21 - October 10, 2009, 02:44 AM
    Quote from: aliadiere on October 09, 2009, 07:55 PM
    I'm sure this attitude is much more prevalent amongst South Asians than other Muslims.


    Amongst South Asian Muslims, especially Pakistanis, the constant need to reiterate and delineate difference and borders and dietary codes may be rooted in the constant need to differentiate the self from Hindus. Hindus also have complex dietary codes and this could be a remnant from that.

    These are the things that make the difference to Pakistani Islamic identity. As such, the piety comes in the issue of diet. There is a more relaxed attitude amongst Arab origin Muslims because that neurosis of identity is not manifested in opposition to non Muslim Arabs -- and also in the context of a self-perpetuating separatism within British society, a delineation from white people in general now.

    One day I will write about this particular observation -- the specific dynamics of Pakistani Islam which shape British Islam.


    "we can smell traitors and country haters"


    Quote from: arX on May 01, 2011, 03:33 AM
    God is Love.
    Love is Blind. Stevie Wonder is blind. Therefore, Stevie Wonder is God.

  • Re: Got caught today!
     Reply #22 - October 10, 2009, 09:43 AM
    Quote from: billy on October 10, 2009, 02:44 AM
    One day I will write about this particular observation -- the specific dynamics of Pakistani Islam which shape British Islam.

    I'm interested, give us a synopsis
    My Book     news002       
    My Blog  pccoffee
  • Re: Got caught today!
     Reply #23 - October 10, 2009, 09:59 AM
    You're into psychology then Billy?
    "Modern man's great illusion has been to convince himself that of all that has gone before he represents the zenith of human accomplishment, but can't summon the mental powers to read anything more demanding than emoticons. Fascinating. "

    One very horny Turk I met on the net.
  • Re: Got caught today!
     Reply #24 - October 10, 2009, 10:36 AM
    Quote from: billy on October 10, 2009, 02:44 AM
    Amongst South Asian Muslims, especially Pakistanis, the constant need to reiterate and delineate difference and borders and dietary codes may be rooted in the constant need to differentiate the self from Hindus. Hindus also have complex dietary codes and this could be a remnant from that.

    These are the things that make the difference to Pakistani Islamic identity. As such, the piety comes in the issue of diet. There is a more relaxed attitude amongst Arab origin Muslims because that neurosis of identity is not manifested in opposition to non Muslim Arabs -- and also in the context of a self-perpetuating separatism within British society, a delineation from white people in general now.

    One day I will write about this particular observation -- the specific dynamics of Pakistani Islam which shape British Islam.





    I remember going into a halal butchers about five years ago and while I was there, there was somebody being served just before me. The gentleman looked middle-eastern in appearance and also had a fairly thick middle-eastern dialect. He was talking about how expensive the chicken drumsticks were in comparison to the ones sold at Morrisons. The chap behind the counter said that the ones at Morrisons were not halal, to which the middle-eastern chap said that they were. Being the "good muslim" that I was at that time, I decided to join the conversation and set the record straight. I told the guy that the meat at Morrisons isn't halal because of XY and Z. He said that is is halal because the meat is clean and that was his understanding of what the word halal meant. The conversation didn't really get anywhere in the end simply because we disagreed with each other. But I have come across this with many middle-eastern people in the city I live in. They will freely buy meat from supermarkets because of this understanding they carry about what the word halal means.
  • Re: Got caught today!
     Reply #25 - October 10, 2009, 10:59 AM
    Quote from: Omaar Khayaam on October 10, 2009, 10:36 AM
    I remember going into a halal butchers about five years ago and while I was there, there was somebody being served just before me. The gentleman looked middle-eastern in appearance and also had a fairly thick middle-eastern dialect. He was talking about how expensive the chicken drumsticks were in comparison to the ones sold at Morrisons. The chap behind the counter said that the ones at Morrisons were not halal, to which the middle-eastern chap said that they were. Being the "good muslim" that I was at that time, I decided to join the conversation and set the record straight. I told the guy that the meat at Morrisons isn't halal because of XY and Z. He said that is is halal because the meat is clean and that was his understanding of what the word halal meant. The conversation didn't really get anywhere in the end simply because we disagreed with each other. But I have come across this with many middle-eastern people in the city I live in. They will freely buy meat from supermarkets because of this understanding they carry about what the word halal means.


    Frankly, I find that the sanitary conditions in most halal meat shops is appalling compared to your basic British or American supermarket meat counter so I think that the Arab chap has a point there!

    Seriously, which is cleaner?  The meat which has been slaughtered and packaged in a hygienic manner conforming to state or national legislation or some piece of fly-ridden mystery meat, turning slightly green due to lack of refrigeration which has had the word 'bismallah' uttered over it?

    As for the E number thing, my sister in law used to lecture us about the haram of foods containing E numbers, my argument was that by the time the animal rennet which was used in the product had been through it's processing it had been altered so much so as not to even resemble what it originally was so I was not going to stoop to mindless label-reading everytime I wanted to buy a pack of Smarties at the supermarket and as far as I was concerned the halal and haram stricture applied only to MEAT, NOT other food products with trace amounts of animal rennet, or whatever.  Plus, would God really care whether we digested something with an E number or not? 
    Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

    The sleeper has awakened -  Dune

    Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day Give him a religion, and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish!
  • Re: Got caught today!
     Reply #26 - October 10, 2009, 01:01 PM
    Quote from: IsLame on October 10, 2009, 09:43 AM
    I'm interested, give us a synopsis


    I first saw this, or at least the idea began to become clear when I read a book by Malise Ruthven called "A Satanic Affair: Salman Rushdie and the Rage of Islam"

    Unfortunately I have misplaced the book and have not been able to get hold of another copy yet. Anyway, the seed was planted in my mind. The book was written in 1990, right in the heat of the moment of the fatwa. And he talked about the men who had organised the demonstrations in Bradford, and talked about how their Islam was shaped by the Islam of Pakistan, and had its own specific neurosis and anxieties which had been transposed to the UK in form and reaction. The 'fight' of Islam in the UK was actually rooted in the 'fight' of Islam in Pakistan, and was particularly emphatic in issues of identity and difference because part of the tenor of Pakistani society and culture is one that seeks to always emphasise difference from India and Indians -- this anxiety, defensiveness became transposed to Britain. It was not an Islam at peace with itself in the world. Markers of identity were important. It was hair-trigger and hyper-sensitive about slights and marginalisation. It reacted against the secular ethnic marker of being 'Asian' because that placed Pakistani Muslims together with Hindus and Sikhs. (This is a point touched upon by Kenan Malik in his essays too).

    When I thought about this, alot of things, and a lot of Islamic anxieties and attitudes in Britain, became clearer to me. Its not as reductive as this, but in the context of many other factors, the dynamics certainly become clearer.



    "we can smell traitors and country haters"


    Quote from: arX on May 01, 2011, 03:33 AM
    God is Love.
    Love is Blind. Stevie Wonder is blind. Therefore, Stevie Wonder is God.

  • Re: Got caught today!
     Reply #27 - October 10, 2009, 02:05 PM
    Yes, it my experience that is broadly correct.  In my experience of Pakistani muslim culture, America and the West is used as a scapegoat for all their own societal troubles and conflict.  

    Everyone does it, from politicians to the man on the street.  Its a method of justify what they see as a superior way of life bearing little fruit in the modern world.  There complexes and insecurities are manifest in the ridiculous conspiracy theories that abound.  

    This situation obviously is made worse when they emigrate to the lands of these transgressors.
    My Book     news002       
    My Blog  pccoffee
  • Re: Got caught today!
     Reply #28 - October 10, 2009, 04:46 PM
    Quote from: Rubina on October 09, 2009, 09:26 PM
    I remember some bruhaha last year about donner kebab meat being tested in a lab and it contained a percentage of PORK! lol

    Can't remember who the supplier of Donner Kebab was but apparently someone tested the meat and the results were not very halal. Dunno if anyone else here remembers it? It was in an asian based newspaper and plus txt messages were also being sent out to a lot of people.



    I remember that. What actually happened was they tested about 500 donner kebabs accross the country, to test for nutritional content. They found two which were advertised as halal but contained pork. Anyway, I went to stay at my uncle's in London and I bought a donner kebab and his housemate was like "brother, don't you know donner kebab is haram!" And then he showed me a text message that said "All Muslims be aware! Donner kebab contains pork!" I just looked at him as if he was a total idiot.

    Quote from: Manat on October 10, 2009, 02:36 AM
    I think it has to be related, somehow, to the general culture of food, particularly with meat, in the subcontinent, don't you?  I mean, you have Arabs who will go out and eat just about anything except a slice of ham, saying "Just say bismillah on it!", but then I have met Asians (very religious ones) who are even suspicious about the meat in Muslim countries.  I knew a guy who went behind the counter at the grocery store and quizzed them about the source of the meat (they don't, obviously, slaughter at the grocery store).  It was nerve wracking being around them.  The bottom line was that nothing was ever good enough, Islamic enough for them. 


    I remember when I was in Pakistan last year and I went to buy some chickens which were definitely not halal. The guy had a fag in his mouth while killing the chicken! How can you say the dua with a fag in your mouth?
    Religion - The hot potato that looked delicious but ended up burning your mouth!

    Knock your head on the ground, don't be miserly in your prayers, listen to your Sidi Sheikh, Allahu Akbar! - Lounes Matoub
  • Re: Got caught today!
     Reply #29 - October 10, 2009, 05:06 PM
    Halal Shmalal... I never cared bout halal meat even when I once considered myself a Muslim. I remember when I was in London a meat shop owner was exposed when he was buying meat from sainsbury's and sells it more expensive as halal meat to unsuspected Muslims. It was in 1995ish....
    ...
  • 1« Previous thread | Next thread »