As a quick aside , the name Paqui is quite common in Spain and I had a friend with the name. When she visited London we were in a supermarket and she was over in another aisle looking for the mustard , I found it in my aisle and so shouted over to her ' Paqui , over here! '. The supermarket was run by Bangladeshis and you could have heard a pin and jaws drop. I hadnt related the sound to Paki untill that point, and after that was conscious that it sounded like it and careful in my use of it in case it was misconstrued.
I agree with the poster who says that the problem isnt like the use of say 'Jock' for 'Scots' ( although I know many who hate the term ) or Taffy for Welsh (Ditto ) it is used by fuckwits who are actually refering to brown skin.
When younger we used to talk about getting sweets from the 'pakis' or getting a take away from the' Chinkies'. It was never used with malice but I stopped using them years ago simply because I felt personally uncomfortable with them and becuase it gave racists an excuse to use them maliciously.
However there is something about the furore surrounding the word nigger that I find uncomfortable. I dont mean in its use as a pejorative, of course it is unacceptable, but I hate the way it has been elivated to be an unforgivable taboo that it should be used in any context at all. When I hear grown-ups discussing it or reporting its use describing it as the N-word , I cringe.
I was once called Jock by a guy in a bar and asked him not to use it , to use my name. He asked why, I said I dislike it just as much as he would dislike being called nigger. He got all self-righteous and started a scene, people wondering what was wrong were told ' he called me a nigger' and I was asked , in no uncertain way, to leave. Fucking ridiculous.
If ever Jock or Paddy become 'the J word ' or the 'P-word' I would cringe just as much.
I know exactly what you mean. "The N word" really makes me cringe as well. I wouldn't call someone a nigger, because that is massively offensive, but I don't see what is wrong with saying "nigger" when you are talking about the word.
And by the way, remember the furore of Anton Du Beke calling Laila Rudeass a Paki? In some of the papers they did actually say "the P word"!!!!
Topic: for all you Pakistanis out there