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 Topic: Pointless or ridiculous suras and verses

 (Read 4428 times)
  • 1« Previous thread | Next thread »
  • Pointless or ridiculous suras and verses
     OP - December 08, 2009, 01:12 PM
    Has anyone read sura 66 (AT-TAHRIM (BANNING, PROHIBITION)? Its basically allah giving Mo license to fuck Mariya, even though Hafsa and Aisha are mad at him for it. One of them blabs it to the other and then Mo finds out and she confronts him about how he knows, and of course Allah told him. Or something like that. It reads like a shitty soap opera. Exactly what purpose does this serve for Muslims in general? why the hell does anyone need to know this? Is it to provide an example for others. They say you're supposed to keep your bedroom activities to yourself as it's a private matter, but for whatever reason we have to read about Mo`s sex life in the Quran.

    Theres also the verse about Mo being too shy to ask people to leave his house and needing Allah to do it for him. Shyness and Mo are not two words that go together.

    What other verses or suras are there like this?
    "We were married by a Reform rabbi in Long Island. A very Reform rabbi. A Nazi."-- Woody Allen
  • Re: Pointless or ridiculous suras and verses
     Reply #1 - December 08, 2009, 02:10 PM
    This isn't from the Qur'an but in the hadith/sunnah, Aisha notes that what ever Muhammad wants there is always a surah that arrives just in time to meet that - right down to the most minute detail.

    So even as a kid Aisha had a superb bullshit detector that most of the Muslims of the time didn't have.
    "It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up." - Muhammad Ali
  • Re: Pointless or ridiculous suras and verses
     Reply #2 - December 08, 2009, 03:32 PM
    33:50, where Muhammad gets his marriage/nikah/anything that moves licenses from. Also related to the Safiya incident.
    "Ask the slave girl; she will tell you the truth.' So the Apostle called Burayra to ask her. Ali got up and gave her a violent beating first, saying, 'Tell the Apostle the truth.'"
  • Re: Pointless or ridiculous suras and verses
     Reply #3 - December 08, 2009, 04:28 PM
    Quote from: kaiwai on December 08, 2009, 02:10 PM
    This isn't from the Qur'an but in the hadith/sunnah, Aisha notes that what ever Muhammad wants there is always a surah that arrives just in time to meet that - right down to the most minute detail.

    So even as a kid Aisha had a superb bullshit detector that most of the Muslims of the time didn't have.

    I'd like to know that hadith, it sounds superb.  Cheesy
    "In every time and culture there are pressures to conform to the prevailing prejudices. But there are also, in every place and epoch, those who value the truth; who record the evidence faithfully. Future generations are in their debt." -Carl Sagan

  • Re: Pointless or ridiculous suras and verses
     Reply #4 - December 08, 2009, 05:21 PM
    That Surah is strange because the first 5 verses of Surah 66 talk about Muhammad and the wives issue, and from the middle of nowhere, verse 6 talks about saving oneself and family from the hellfire whose fuel is from men and stone. Talk about a 180.
    "The more I study religions the more I am convinced that man never worshiped anything but himself."
    ~Sir Richard Francis Burton

    "I think religion is just like smoking: Both invented by people, addictive, harmful, and kills!"
    ~RIBS
  • Re: Pointless or ridiculous suras and verses
     Reply #5 - December 08, 2009, 05:35 PM
    Quote from: Cool Canadian on December 08, 2009, 05:21 PM
    That Surah is strange because the first 5 verses of Surah 66 talk about Muhammad and the wives issue, and from the middle of nowhere, verse 6 talks about saving oneself and family from the hellfire whose fuel is from men and stone. Talk about a 180.


    lol is that suprising though? The Quran does that all the time. I don't even know why there are chapters at all. Its just basically random verses and constant repetitions of praising allah and threatening hellfire with relevant real life shit sprinkled in between those turds.
    Quote from: thinkfree on September 28, 2010, 07:58 PM
    Iblis has mad debaterin' skillz. Best not step up unless you're prepared to recieve da pain.

  • Re: Pointless or ridiculous suras and verses
     Reply #6 - December 08, 2009, 05:39 PM
    Quote from: Kafirist on December 08, 2009, 05:35 PM
    lol is that suprising though? The Quran does that all the time. I don't even know why there are chapters at all. Its just basically random verses and constant repetitions of praising allah and threatening hellfire with relevant real life shit sprinkled in between those turds.


    Another thing that Muslims tell me is that Surah 66 is proof that Muhammad was a messenger of Allah. They say that because Muhammad wanted it to be a secret and the Qur'an is criticizing Muhammad. Muslims will say why would Muhammad criticize himself in the Qur'an if he was not a messenger.
    "The more I study religions the more I am convinced that man never worshiped anything but himself."
    ~Sir Richard Francis Burton

    "I think religion is just like smoking: Both invented by people, addictive, harmful, and kills!"
    ~RIBS
  • Re: Pointless or ridiculous suras and verses
     Reply #7 - December 08, 2009, 05:41 PM
    Also, an interesting note to take. Ever notice that whenever a revelation comes down to Muhammad when he wants it, the verse is so badly written, look at Surah 66, verses 1-5. But when you look at Surah 78, 75, 112 for example, they seem to be more well written. But 66, verses 1-5 are just poorly structured and the wording is poor.
    "The more I study religions the more I am convinced that man never worshiped anything but himself."
    ~Sir Richard Francis Burton

    "I think religion is just like smoking: Both invented by people, addictive, harmful, and kills!"
    ~RIBS
  • Re: Pointless or ridiculous suras and verses
     Reply #8 - December 08, 2009, 05:58 PM
    Would you be able to form an eloquent verse if you were just caught fucking your coptic slave woman, sweating profusely, short of breath with an angry musulman wife raging at you? Didn't think so.

    Ergo, Muhammad is the Prophet.
    Quote from: thinkfree on September 28, 2010, 07:58 PM
    Iblis has mad debaterin' skillz. Best not step up unless you're prepared to recieve da pain.

  • Re: Pointless or ridiculous suras and verses
     Reply #9 - December 08, 2009, 06:14 PM
    Quote from: kaiwai on December 08, 2009, 02:10 PM
    Aisha notes that what ever Muhammad wants there is always a surah that arrives just in time to meet that - right down to the most minute detail.

    Wikiiislam has a whole area devoted to Mo's Just-in-time revelations..

    http://www.wikiislam.com/wiki/Muhammad's_Just_In_Time_Revelations
    My Book     news002       
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  • Re: Pointless or ridiculous suras and verses
     Reply #10 - December 08, 2009, 06:14 PM
    Quote from: Kafirist on December 08, 2009, 05:58 PM
    Would you be able to form an eloquent verse if you were just caught fucking your coptic slave woman, sweating profusely, short of breath with an angry musulman wife raging at you? Didn't think so.

    Ergo, Muhammad is the Prophet.

     Cheesy
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  • Re: Pointless or ridiculous suras and verses
     Reply #11 - December 08, 2009, 08:44 PM
    Quote from: Infidel on December 08, 2009, 04:28 PM
    I'd like to know that hadith, it sounds superb.  Cheesy

    http://www.usc.edu/schools/college/crcc/engagement/resources/texts/muslim/hadith/bukhari/060.sbt.html#006.060.311

    Quote from: Aisha
    Volume 6, Book 60, Number 311:

        Narrated Aisha:

        I used to look down upon those ladies who had given themselves to Allah's Apostle and I used to say, "Can a lady give herself (to a man)?" But when Allah revealed: "You (O Muhammad) can postpone (the turn of) whom you will of them (your wives), and you may receive any of them whom you will; and there is no blame on you if you invite one whose turn you have set aside (temporarily).' (33.51) I said (to the Prophet), "I feel that your Lord hastens in fulfilling your wishes and desires."

    Devious, treacherous, murderous, neanderthal, sub-human of the West. bunny
  • Re: Pointless or ridiculous suras and verses
     Reply #12 - December 08, 2009, 11:21 PM
    Why couldnt Allah have given the prophet a revelation before something was going to happen? The answer's obvious, but still...convenience will rat you out.
    "We were married by a Reform rabbi in Long Island. A very Reform rabbi. A Nazi."-- Woody Allen
  • Re: Pointless or ridiculous suras and verses
     Reply #13 - December 09, 2009, 01:49 AM
    Allah was just answering Mohammed's prayers. Every time Mohammed got caught in the shit he'd start praying silently like crazy, and because he was mates with Allah the big dude would help a brother out. It's all perfectly legit.  grin12
    Devious, treacherous, murderous, neanderthal, sub-human of the West. bunny
  • Re: Pointless or ridiculous suras and verses
     Reply #14 - December 09, 2009, 07:50 AM
    How come Allah never helped me out like that? I used to pray for ages for a Playstation when I was a kid. And never got one. It took me 10 years, a job, and money saved up. But hey good things come to those who wait, seeing how instead of a puny Playstation 1 I got a PS3 Cheesy Thank you God.

    O My Servant. Verily Allah sees your face turned towards Him. Thy tears streaming down your face only increaseth you in iman. But thy have to wait. Be patient with beautiful patience. One day O my servant Verily I shall pass down a playstation from the heavens to thee. Verily it will not be pre-owned. Verily it shall come with a pack of games you will enjoy. Hell will be prepared for the ungrateful, flames engulfing the disbelievers; fuel made of rocks and discarded Atari Jaguar games. Verily the disbelievers shall have Nintendo 8 bit games. Which they have to blow on in eternal agony. Verily.
  • Re: Pointless or ridiculous suras and verses
     Reply #15 - December 09, 2009, 10:22 AM
    Quote from: BlackDog on December 09, 2009, 07:50 AM
    How come Allah never helped me out like that? I used to pray for ages for a Playstation when I was a kid. And never got one. It took me 10 years, a job, and money saved up. But hey good things come to those who wait, seeing how instead of a puny Playstation 1 I got a PS3 Cheesy Thank you God.


    Such remarks allways reminds of this quote by the comedian Emo Phillips:

    Quote
    "When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.... and I got it"

  • Re: Pointless or ridiculous suras and verses
     Reply #16 - December 09, 2009, 12:56 PM
    thanks - that ones going in the quotes thread  Afro
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  • Re: Pointless or ridiculous suras and verses
     Reply #17 - December 09, 2009, 06:10 PM
    Quote from: Cool Canadian on December 08, 2009, 05:39 PM
    Another thing that Muslims tell me is that Surah 66 is proof that Muhammad was a messenger of Allah. They say that because Muhammad wanted it to be a secret and the Qur'an is criticizing Muhammad. Muslims will say why would Muhammad criticize himself in the Qur'an if he was not a messenger.

    Or he could just be trying to make it look like that  Wink

    It is not the way you live your life that is important, it is how well you enjoy it that matters.
  • Re: Pointless or ridiculous suras and verses
     Reply #18 - December 09, 2009, 10:01 PM
    Nope it's much simpler. The people were asking him what the hell is going on, he came up with a verse from Allah, it was Quranaised thus making it official. I don't think he realized 1400 years later people would go "hm why the hell is this in the eternal book?"
  • Re: Pointless or ridiculous suras and verses
     Reply #19 - December 09, 2009, 10:04 PM
    haha, Mo is probably loling at us all from his coffin in Medina.
    Quote from: thinkfree on September 28, 2010, 07:58 PM
    Iblis has mad debaterin' skillz. Best not step up unless you're prepared to recieve da pain.

  • Re: Pointless or ridiculous suras and verses
     Reply #20 - December 10, 2009, 01:43 AM
    Quote from: ninurta on December 09, 2009, 06:10 PM
    Or he could just be trying to make it look like that  Wink




    The prophet got a ton of tail. Why wouldn't he want people to know about it?
    "We were married by a Reform rabbi in Long Island. A very Reform rabbi. A Nazi."-- Woody Allen
  • Re: Pointless or ridiculous suras and verses
     Reply #21 - December 12, 2009, 12:48 PM
    He does, hence he wrote about it Smiley
    It is not the way you live your life that is important, it is how well you enjoy it that matters.
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