Casual Sex. Not so bad for emotions, akshully.

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Casual Sex. Not so bad for emotions, akshully.
OP - December 11, 2009, 02:57 AM

http://www.nydailynews.com/lifestyle/health/2009/12/09/2009-12-09_casual_sex_hookups_arent_emotionally_damaging_study_finds.html

Quote
A surprising new study reveals that casual sex may not cause emotional or psychological damage.

Despite the pervasive belief that hooking up casually is detrimental to the well-being of young adults, researchers found that not to be the case in a recent study, reports the Minneapolis Star Tribune.

The study asked 1,311 Minnesota-based young adults, between the ages of 18 and 24, about their most recent sexual experiences, their self-esteem and their general well-being after the experience.

Only one-fifth of the subjects said their most recent experience was casual. And overall, their emotional status wasn?t any different from those who said their last sexual experience was with a committed partner.

?We were so surprised,? said Marla Eisenberg, who is an assistant professor at the university School of Public Health.

?The conventional wisdom is that casual sex, 'friends with benefits,' and hooking up is hurtful. That's what we've been teaching kids for decades,? she said, adding that abstinence-only sex education programs in particular enforce this notion.

However, researchers said that this doesn?t mean casual sex is for everyone - and Eisenberg is quick to warn of the physical consequences of casual sex. Rates of sexually transmitted diseases continue to increase and teen pregnancy rates in Minnesota in particular are also on the rise, according to the Star Tribune.

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Reply #1 - December 11, 2009, 03:11 AM

I never knew that people thought casual sex caused psychological damage. Sounded completely silly to me the moment I read that. I always figured the only reason for people to argue against casual sex was STD.

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Reply #2 - December 11, 2009, 07:58 AM

Maybe it's a woman's thing. Like it's in the women's magazines or some shit like that. You know, fragile lady thing. I don't read these magazines too much. I guess it ties in with the "slut" shaming culture. Women who have too much sex are bad girls and also emotionally damaged, that sort of thing.

But for sure, Muslims use that idea to say why Islam makes it haram to have non-marital sex and dillweeds like Hamza Yusuf will go on and on about how people in western society are emotionally damaged b/c of all the casual sex they have and shit like that. So anyone should use this article as a rebuttal the next time it comes up.

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Reply #3 - December 11, 2009, 10:27 AM

Cool. I've read in a magazine something along the lines of "replace lunch with daily sexcapades to lose weight". Speaking of casual sex, anyone else find it funny that when Muslims think of premarital sex, they automatically assume that person is going to get a disease... Or if they're a woman, they'll get pregnant and then become a single mother with a disease on top of that?

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Reply #4 - December 11, 2009, 11:42 AM

Quote from: Manat on December 11, 2009, 07:58 AM
But for sure, Muslims use that idea to say why Islam makes it haram to have non-marital sex and dillweeds like Hamza Yusuf will go on and on about how people in western society are emotionally damaged b/c of all the casual sex they have and shit like that.

From the article:

Quote
Only one-fifth of the subjects said their most recent experience was casual.

So, it's definitely the opposite actually: People in western society are emotionally damaged because of all the casual sex they don't have.

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Reply #5 - December 11, 2009, 01:34 PM

Quote from: ExKimDonesia on December 11, 2009, 10:27 AM
Cool. I've read in a magazine something along the lines of "replace lunch with daily sexcapades to lose weight". Speaking of casual sex, anyone else find it funny that when Muslims think of premarital sex, they automatically assume that person is going to get a disease... Or if they're a woman, they'll get pregnant and then become a single mother with a disease on top of that?

Well, I hope you've had lots and lots of casual sex to make up for the time being a Muslim

The problem with Muslims is that they don't see the relationship between cause, effect and personal choice.

Take homosexuality for example, they can't work around the idea that firstly people choose to have sex, secondly they can choose to use condoms, and thirdly the idea of enjoying sex doesn't make you uncivilised/animalistic. What the fuck is it with Muslims who think that being a sexually repressed dick makes oneself a person of higher moral standing? this asexual veneration, sexophobic crap from Islam makes my stomach churn more than the views Catholics hold (and they're pretty bad all the same as well!)

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Reply #6 - December 11, 2009, 01:38 PM

I think it was Ardal O'Hanlon who said "there are two different types of people. Those that have casual sex with many partners, and jealous people"

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Reply #7 - December 11, 2009, 01:41 PM

Quote from: aliadiere on December 11, 2009, 01:38 PM
I think it was Ardal O'Hanlon who said "there are two different types of people. Those that have casual sex with many partners, and jealous people"

Just to add to that, those who tend to boast about the number of partners tend to have the least number.

Btw, anyone interested in starting up a 'promotion of vice and prevention of virtue' group to spread debauchery and immorality to the Muslim sections of society?

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Reply #8 - December 11, 2009, 01:47 PM

And you know what else grinds my gears?! When people say "no sex please, we're British" and talk about British people being sexually repressed. If British people are sexually repressed, I don't know how I would describe Muslims, particularly those of the Subcontinental variety!

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Reply #9 - December 11, 2009, 01:51 PM

Quote from: aliadiere on December 11, 2009, 01:47 PM
And you know what else grinds my gears?! When people say "no sex please, we're British" and talk about British people being sexually repressed. If British people are sexually repressed, I don't know how I would describe Muslims, particularly those of the Subcontinental variety!

Too bad the sexual repression in the subcontinent hasn't resulted in less children being pumped out each year.

Do people from the Subcontinent realise there are other things in life besides having kids? or is being a baby factory the pinnacle achievement in their life?

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Reply #10 - December 11, 2009, 01:51 PM

I don't think it's specific to muslims. I know that amongst Indian/Pakistani in general it's frowned upon. Sikhs and Hindus also frown upon it. It probably has to do with pride and honour especially when it comes to sisters and daughters. I think it's seen as a sign of decadence more than anything else. The two questions that beg are firstly, why do Indo/Pak parents and brothers frown upon this, what is it that gives the act it's negative connotations amongst Indo/Pak families? On the other hand are Indo/Pak families correct to frown upon this, what's so great about casual sex anyway?

Lets's discuss this.
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Reply #11 - December 11, 2009, 01:53 PM

Quote from: Omaar Khayaam on December 11, 2009, 01:51 PM
I don't think it's specific to muslims. I know that amongst South Asians in general it's frowned upon. Sikhs and Hindus also frown upon it. It probably has to do with pride and honour especially when it comes to sisters and daughters. I think it's seen as a sign of decadence more than anything else. The two questions that beg are firstly, why do asian parents and brothers frown upon this, what is it that gives the act it's negative connotations amongst asian families? On the other hand are asian families correct to frown upon this, what's so great about casual sex anyway?

Lets's discuss this.

Please replace asian with Indian please; I know many Thai, Chinese, Malay etc who don't want to be thrown in the sexually repressed basket.

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Reply #12 - December 11, 2009, 02:28 PM

I don't think the human body is meant to be sexually repressed. But I'm not a doctor so vat da hell do I know.

Let's discuss what it does to people, if in fact it does anything at all.

I think some people are naturally attracted to animals, just the way their brains are wired. But I think being sexually repressed and not being able to have casual sex, and not allowed to masturbate, and not being able to get married (for various reasons) might mean you do sexy time with beast.

Some men are naturally attracted to other men, just the way their brains are wired. But I think being sexually repressed MIGHT in some cases make some men do sexy time with other men. I point to middle-eastern countries and maximum security prisons lol. Also its kinda funny when you here an Arab say I am not gay, I just other men in the but since they dont do the same to me then I am not gay. Very unsure about this.

It could also lead to a combination thereof; beast-men and man-beasts. OK that last one made me barf a little in my mouth.

Also, when the Catholic pederasty scandal came out I thought to myself being disallowed a marriage, sex, and masturbation MIGHT have led these men to these actions. Or they could have been latent paedophiles? But I'm not sure about this either.

Thoughts?
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Reply #13 - December 11, 2009, 02:50 PM

Quote from: BlackDog on December 11, 2009, 02:28 PM
I don't think the human body is meant to be sexually repressed. But I'm not a doctor so vat da hell do I know.

Let's discuss what it does to people, if in fact it does anything at all.

I think some people are naturally attracted to animals, just the way their brains are wired. But I think being sexually repressed and not being able to have casual sex, and not allowed to masturbate, and not being able to get married (for various reasons) might mean you do sexy time with beast.

Some men are naturally attracted to other men, just the way their brains are wired. But I think being sexually repressed MIGHT in some cases make some men do sexy time with other men. I point to middle-eastern countries and maximum security prisons lol. Also its kinda funny when you here an Arab say I am not gay, I just other men in the but since they dont do the same to me then I am not gay. Very unsure about this.

It could also lead to a combination thereof; beast-men and man-beasts. OK that last one made me barf a little in my mouth.

Also, when the Catholic pederasty scandal came out I thought to myself being disallowed a marriage, sex, and masturbation MIGHT have led these men to these actions. Or they could have been latent paedophiles? But I'm not sure about this either.

Thoughts?

You're saying what has already been known; Sigmund Freud noted that sexuality is like a force within humans that needs to be released in a healthy manner or otherwise it will manifest itself in behaviours that are destructive to the individual and those around them.

As for priests, as an priest said; there are three people who enter into the priest hood; those who can handle celibacy, those who are gay/bisexual and trying to escape having to address their sexuality, and then there are psychos.

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Reply #14 - December 11, 2009, 04:28 PM

Damn I'm good. OK not agreeing with everything Sigmund "Cocaine is a hell of a drug Rick James I want my quote back" Freud said but this tells me one thing; I needz to readz more psychoanalyziz. Excuse my silliness, but it's a Friday after all
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Reply #15 - December 11, 2009, 08:40 PM

Quote from: kaiwai on December 11, 2009, 01:53 PM
Please replace asian with Indian please; I know many Thai, Chinese, Malay etc who don't want to be thrown in the sexually repressed basket.

AFAIk, in the UK "Asian" means people from the Subcontinent. Let's just say Desi, so that people who are Bengali or Pakistani don't feel like they're all being lumped int with India. Although I haven't seen that attitude from the peeps here, I remember in Muslim circles, sometimes the Pakistanis would lord it over the Indians that they are from Pakistan but you, you are from INDIA and have definitely seen a lot of splits between masjids and stuff over this ("the Bengali masjid", "that's the Pakistani masjid", etc).

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Reply #16 - December 11, 2009, 08:48 PM

Yeah, no offence, but most Bengalis and Indian Muslims try to be nice and be a team player.. but Pakistani Musulmans have this arrogant attitude that the rest of us non-pakistanis are slightly hindu and hence unworthy of any respect. So the bengalis simply say fuck it and create their own parallel mosques.

And I'm referring to those really fundie Pakistanis, you guys and even more liberally minded Pakistanis are as much against that shit as as anyone else.

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Reply #17 - December 11, 2009, 08:57 PM

Quote from: BlackDog on December 11, 2009, 02:28 PM
I think some people are naturally attracted to animals, just the way their brains are wired.

I think that sexual repression, as well as abuse and other factors, can lead to paraphilias, but I do not think that there are people who are born attracted to donkeys the way a person is born attracted to opposite gender or same gender.

Quote
Also, when the Catholic pederasty scandal came out I thought to myself being disallowed a marriage, sex, and masturbation MIGHT have led these men to these actions. Or they could have been latent paedophiles? But I'm not sure about this either.

I think that barring men who are married from serving as priests meant that a lot of men who really aren't interested in marrying another adult entered vocation and some of them turned out to be paedophiles. Just as I am sure some of them are gay men who struggle with their own faith's teaching on gayness and see vocation as a "way out" of "sinning, and then I'm sure some are totally asexual and some are straight but think that their love for god will get them through it. For the most part, when priests and nuns engage in "sexual misconduct" it is with another adult, not a child. In other words, those people know that the way to relieve the repression they volunteered for is with another adult, not to go after a child.

I don't know why the abuse was much more rampant in Ireland than in the US, by which I mean all different areas of the church were involved (orphanages, women's homes, etc), males and females, whereas in the US, it was mostly priests and some nuns, but so far have not heard of abuse at, say, Catholic run hospitals or foster homes and the like. Did the political power that the Republic of Ireland handed the Church after independence create depravity and deviance in priests, brothers and nuns where it might not have existed had those people been married or the Church less all-powerful? I think in some years we will hear of similar scandals in South America as well.

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Reply #18 - December 11, 2009, 09:03 PM

I can bet if a proper study and expose was done on Madrassas in the Muslim world, especially south asia.. they'd find a network of pedophile mullahs far more nastier than the Catholic church. I know in bangladesh the mullahs are harcore sex perverts. Ugly fucker lording over innocent little boys - whats the surprise?

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Reply #19 - December 11, 2009, 09:06 PM

Our drive to reproduce is actually higher than our body's thrive to survive. Which means body in evolutionary terms is designed to keep our species alive away from extinction. Causing this drive to be repressed is a very bad thing. One day or another, one will crack and needs to fill this void.

so some people end up going crazy that they start to do terrible acts. Sex is actually very good for our body and even Islam says this. So we should learn to embrace casual sex as a positive effect rather than dismissing it as a evil action

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Reply #20 - December 11, 2009, 09:42 PM

Quote
I don't know why the abuse was much more rampant in Ireland than in the US, by which I mean all different areas of the church were involved (orphanages, women's homes, etc), males and females, whereas in the US, it was mostly priests and some nuns, but so far have not heard of abuse at, say, Catholic run hospitals or foster homes and the like. Did the political power that the Republic of Ireland handed the Church after independence create depravity and deviance in priests, brothers and nuns where it might not have existed had those people been married or the Church less all-powerful? I think in some years we will hear of similar scandals in South America as well.

I think its simply a product of greater opportunity. In the early days of independence Ireland was too poor to run a proper welfare state and health service so they abrogated many of their responsibilities to the Church. That left the civil authorities too dependent on the Church's good will to really challenge them.

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Reply #21 - December 11, 2009, 10:43 PM

Quote from: Manat on December 11, 2009, 08:40 PM
AFAIk, in the UK "Asian" means people from the Subcontinent. Let's just say Desi, so that people who are Bengali or Pakistani don't feel like they're all being lumped int with India. Although I haven't seen that attitude from the peeps here, I remember in Muslim circles, sometimes the Pakistanis would lord it over the Indians that they are from Pakistan but you, you are from INDIA and have definitely seen a lot of splits between masjids and stuff over this ("the Bengali masjid", "that's the Pakistani masjid", etc).

Probably explain why we don't get too many Pakistani's - they're all labelled Indians, even if they're from Pakistan

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Reply #22 - December 24, 2009, 10:22 AM

Quote from: _truth_ on December 11, 2009, 09:06 PM
Sex is actually very good for our body and even Islam says this.

you do realize this isn't proper evidence
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