My mum has gone to Tanzania for a few weeks and told my extended family about my current views. Their reaction was pity. It was so sickening, my cousin told me what happened as she is a fellow atheist. They thought my apostasy was caused by my abuse as a child by my father. Yes I admit I was abused by my father, but seriously it wasn't that bad and the constant drilling of Islam into me SHOULD have kept me from becoming an atheist regardless. My atheism was down to pure logic. God, if he existed, is a total cunt for all the suffering in the world. The whole test argument didn't wash with me no matter how they said it or how long their beard was. Logic changed me. I find it insulting for them to insinuate my permanent life choice is a result of abuse. I wish I could have been there to shut them up. I emailed them just now asking them a simple question.
as a mother, would you allow your 9 year old daughter (my sister) to go out, have a mutta and have sex. This is what Islam is all about, getting what you want providing its written in the book or big Mo did it. He was a paedophile and set a shining example to us all didn't he? Perfect human my arse.
I'm just so annoyed. My cousin defended me and they told her to shut up and blamed it on the British culture. To add to this, my mother is an abusive bitch. She likes to blame it on my father who occasionally gave me a clip round the ear as a child but she tortures me to this day, emotionally. The latest episode was only a month ago just after my 17th birthday.
I was out at my girlfriends one night celebrating her birthday in a REALLY bad storm. I didn't get any calls from my parents to come home because my phone had no signal because of the storm and because i had run out of battery AND because she lives in an area where signal is hit and miss. I didnt think for a second there would be a problem since i had been out to 3AM on certain days. My
mother made the executive decision to lock me out.
It was midnight, i had been ringing the disconnected bell for over an hour and it was the worst storm in 5 years. My jacket started letting water in and i was getting really cold real fast and i felt myself getting the first stages of hypothermia, so i thought it would be a good idea to try and sleep in the shed. I climbed over the fence but fell 10 ft onto my back, cracking a rib. I lay there screaming in agony for ages. I remember staring into the sky and crying. I had such an amazing time with my girlfriend and my parents managed to make me feel like topping myself. I was so cold i just couldn't think, so i got up and went to check a back door. At this point was feeling REALLY disorientated and delirious and I couldnt even talk. I put my hand through the cat flap and grabbed some back door keys that were on the floor and desprately opened the door only to be confronted by my mother and father screaming at me, telling me to piss off back outside. I felt so cold and I was so wet i just couldn't stand there. I stripped down to my boxers and literally hugged a radiator for 2 hours whilst my mother hurled insults at me. You disobedient bastard, you've been drinking (i didnt drink on that day incidently) you're a failure to the family etc etc etc All this time i couldnt talk or think. I crawled into bed. I had my laptop and phone taken the next day. I called up my uncle and showed my mum by bruises from falling and begged her to take me to the doctors. My uncle cried on the phone after hearing my story and told my mum what she had done was wrong. Suddenly she was apologetic. I wanted to punch her in the fucking face. I didn't, but I wanted to.
Ever since I have been so pissed off with her and have had thoughts of suicide, the ONE thing that has got me though it has been my girlfriend who has helped me through episodes like this for nearly 5 years.
Add onto this the arguments SHE starts with me, I just don't want to talk to her. One time when I was 14 she threw my ?500 guitar onto my desk and destroyed it :(. Things just get worse and worse, i do recognise that she is crazy and that its all to do with her upbringing but i'm just sick of everything.
She's perfectly nice when she wants to be, takes me out to meals and cooks and gives me a roof over my head, but then she does things like this and then has the audacity to blame my apostasy on abuse, which she did.
My apostasy was because of my intellect, my upbringing so far hasn't been the best, but my heretic family had me believing in this crap for years until I became a free thinker.
I feel like this has been a totally pointless rant, but it has helped to vent
I can't wait to move out in 11 months
Topic: So my whole extended family knows about my apostasy