Lets get religious.

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Topic: Lets get religious.

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- RIBS
- Ex-Muslim
- offline
Re: Lets get religious.
Reply #30 - April 08, 2010, 06:08 PM

It is a miracle!

Ass-ah Akbar Ass-ah Akbar

...
- Tommy
- Let me feel your butt
- Ex-Muslim
- The Ass Patter
- offline
Re: Lets get religious.
Reply #31 - April 08, 2010, 06:09 PM

WIN!

Call me TAP TAP! for I am THE ASS PATTER!
- Tommy
- Let me feel your butt
- Ex-Muslim
- The Ass Patter
- offline
Re: Lets get religious.
Reply #32 - April 08, 2010, 06:10 PM

This is how prayer would be performed:

Both Men and Women would gather around in a circle patting each other on the ass while dancing in circles. This shall be done 10 times a day.

Call me TAP TAP! for I am THE ASS PATTER!
- RIBS
- Ex-Muslim
- offline
Re: Lets get religious.
Reply #33 - April 08, 2010, 06:26 PM

would ~~farting~~ passing wind make us unpure for the circle dance?

...
- Tommy
- Let me feel your butt
- Ex-Muslim
- The Ass Patter
- offline
Re: Lets get religious.
Reply #34 - April 08, 2010, 06:27 PM

No, it would break your wudhu.

Call me TAP TAP! for I am THE ASS PATTER!
- RIBS
- Ex-Muslim
- offline
Re: Lets get religious.
Reply #35 - April 08, 2010, 06:35 PM

is there a wudho for AssPatters too?

...
- Tommy
- Let me feel your butt
- Ex-Muslim
- The Ass Patter
- offline
Re: Lets get religious.
Reply #36 - April 08, 2010, 06:46 PM

Yes. You must rinse your hands with olive oil

Call me TAP TAP! for I am THE ASS PATTER!
- Cool Canadian
- Ex-Muslim
- Don't mess with raccoon Mario
- offline
Re: Lets get religious.
Reply #37 - April 08, 2010, 06:50 PM

Quote from: The Ass Patter on April 08, 2010, 06:46 PM
Yes. You must rinse your hands with olive oil

What if we don't have olive oil? Can we use vegetable oil?

"The more I study religions the more I am convinced that man never worshiped anything but himself."
~Sir Richard Francis Burton

"I think religion is just like smoking: Both invented by people, addictive, harmful, and kills!"
~RIBS
- Tommy
- Let me feel your butt
- Ex-Muslim
- The Ass Patter
- offline
Re: Lets get religious.
Reply #38 - April 08, 2010, 06:51 PM

No vegetable oil is forbidden.

Call me TAP TAP! for I am THE ASS PATTER!
- Saif Rahman
- Ex-Muslim
- Je suis Haram
- offline
Re: Lets get religious.
Reply #39 - April 08, 2010, 06:52 PM

Oil of Ulay?

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- Tommy
- Let me feel your butt
- Ex-Muslim
- The Ass Patter
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Re: Lets get religious.
Reply #40 - April 08, 2010, 06:53 PM

Any oil except for Olive Oil is forbidden. Doing wudhu with anything other than Olive Oil is the highest crime--something which is punishable by repeated spanking.

Call me TAP TAP! for I am THE ASS PATTER!
- Saif Rahman
- Ex-Muslim
- Je suis Haram
- offline
Re: Lets get religious.
Reply #41 - April 08, 2010, 06:53 PM

I hear diesel is Makruh. Is that true Lord Ass Patter (may ass pats be upon you).

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- Tommy
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- The Ass Patter
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Re: Lets get religious.
Reply #42 - April 08, 2010, 06:54 PM

No diesel is forbidden. You see it's those Pastafarians that are trying to keep you astray from your real God; TAP TAP!

They are NOT to be trusted.

Call me TAP TAP! for I am THE ASS PATTER!
- Saif Rahman
- Ex-Muslim
- Je suis Haram
- offline
Re: Lets get religious.
Reply #43 - April 08, 2010, 07:34 PM

Can we wear latex gloves whilst patting?

My Book
My Blog
- Cool Canadian
- Ex-Muslim
- Don't mess with raccoon Mario
- offline
Re: Lets get religious.
Reply #44 - April 08, 2010, 08:15 PM

What is the punishment if one commits bidah in this religion?

"The more I study religions the more I am convinced that man never worshiped anything but himself."
~Sir Richard Francis Burton

"I think religion is just like smoking: Both invented by people, addictive, harmful, and kills!"
~RIBS
- Saif Rahman
- Ex-Muslim
- Je suis Haram
- offline
Re: Lets get religious.
Reply #45 - April 08, 2010, 08:45 PM

May we use the same hand that we wipe our behinds with to pat others with, Oh Touchy Feely One?

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- Tommy
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- Ex-Muslim
- The Ass Patter
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Re: Lets get religious.
Reply #46 - April 09, 2010, 12:48 AM

Quote from: IsLame on April 08, 2010, 07:34 PM
Can we wear latex gloves whilst patting?

Latex gloves are a product of Pastafarians; thus forbidden

Call me TAP TAP! for I am THE ASS PATTER!
- Tommy
- Let me feel your butt
- Ex-Muslim
- The Ass Patter
- offline
Re: Lets get religious.
Reply #47 - April 09, 2010, 12:48 AM

Quote from: Cool Canadian on April 08, 2010, 08:15 PM
What is the punishment if one commits bidah in this religion?

What is bidah again?

Call me TAP TAP! for I am THE ASS PATTER!
- Tommy
- Let me feel your butt
- Ex-Muslim
- The Ass Patter
- offline
Re: Lets get religious.
Reply #48 - April 09, 2010, 12:49 AM

Quote from: IsLame on April 08, 2010, 08:45 PM
May we use the same hand that we wipe our behinds with to pat others with, Oh Touchy Feely One?

Yes; this will earn you bonus points with I.

Call me TAP TAP! for I am THE ASS PATTER!
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