i grew up in a small town in an european country where religion is not really a part of society anymore. people used to be christians here but long time ago people stopped going to church, and today most people would find you very strange if you told them for example that you believed that Jesus was the son of god. one might say my country has gotten rid of religion, and the christian belivers today are mostly older folks, very very few in my generation are religious these days..
i was never in to religion growing up and neither was my family. i also think i might have cursed "god" more than a few times
for making my life suck so badly at least i thought.
but really religion was all imagination to me, like the tooth fairy or santa claus. anyway i got into a lot of trouble in my teenage life, getting involved with drugs and doing lots of bad stuff i guess. this was all cuz i wasnt feeling very well of course, my parents got divorced when i was a kid and things were always tough around me.
anyway i finished ground school but i didnt make it through college, i found studying was just not for me.. so there i was 20 years old without a job or an education and i was living in like four different places because of family difficulties. i ended up living with my mom whom i had a seriously disfunctional relationship with. as you can tell, there wasnt much stability in my life
.
as time went by i was becoming more and more displeased with the way things were in my society. i felt like people didnt care about anything any longer, and i felt like everything kept getting worse and worse. i started hanging out with muslims, they werent religious at all but their heritage was islam. i often discussed with them what a "fucked up" society we lived in which they agreed in. i guess this is when it all started.
i started studying islam and right before you know it i stopped eating pork and drinking alcohol. i started to look down on a lot of people and i felt this anger building up inside of me towards society. one day i decided to read a translation of the quran, and after finishing reading the whole thing trough i was hooked. i felt like it had all the answers. there was no going back now and i decided to say the shahada.
so there i am in the local mosque with a bunch of people. it was time. the imam asked me if i knew what i was doing and so on and i told him i was fully ready to become a muslim. then i had to pronounce the arabic confession which went fine because i had practised a lot. anyway i felt like it was the best thing i had done and all the muslims were like "mash allah mash allah"and hugging me and shit haha crazy.. i later changed my name, stopped shaving and all that other stuff.
my muslim friends who i knew outside the religion so to speak never wanted to join me to the mosque, so i always went by myself. i prayed the obligatory five times a day and even did night prayer and washed before everyone prayer. you had to wash in a certain way, pray in a certain way, and even stand in a certain way. i was turning in to a fuckin robot. i was convinced that the quran and muhammed was the best thing ever happened to humanity.
as i was visiting the mosque i met a lot of new people. i started talking to a guy that seemed very liberal and friendly, and he was one of the people promoting "the peaceful religion of islam". but then he introduced me to this other dude, and this was the beginning to the end. at first i was happy that he took the time to learning me about islam and muhammed and everything, but something just didnt feel right. he started telling me to read the hadith, and he turned out to be an anti-democratic salafi bin ladin loving nutjob. this is what inspired me to do some more research about what religion i had gotten myself in to. i started reading the hadith and i noticed what an evil cult islam really was. it promoted hate and fear, and death to those who insulted islam or the holy prophet. there was no room for individual rigths or freedom. i decided to re-read the quran, this time a lot more critically. my world was falling apart, i realised i had been brainwashed by the quran all along. insane. i had to get out. now!
i started searching the internet how one leaves islam. i got a lot of help from youtubers who themselves had left islam, and they told me all you really have to do was to stop beliving and stop praying and so on. i felt it was not enough, i wanted to do something more. they told me to be careful and that people even had been killed for apostasy. i felt pure panic and fear rushing through my body. nobody had told me about this shit before saying my shahada!! but then that panic turned into anger. what kind of sick religion does that to people?! this was against everything i stood for and i decided not give in to fear, letting the evil win. there was no way in hell i was going to be a muslim anymore. so i stopped praying, i started drinking again and started doing all that haram stuff
and it felt better than ever before.
but technically i felt like i was still a muslim because of the shahada and all, so i still felt something had to be done. i decided to revert to christianity, even though religion was now destroyed for me for all future i felt this act would completely wipe islam out of my system! after visiting a priest i felt that now i could go on with my life and i cut all connections with the islamic religion. at first i was thinking of keeping quiet about all this. but then i found this website and i thought hey maybe my story could make a difference to someone out there?
for reading my story.
Topic: Heres my story