Re: An Infidel living in the midst of muslims
Reply #37 - August 23, 2010, 09:43 AM
Thanks a lot guys, I appreciate all your concern, support and kindness, it wasn’t one of those days that I liked.
Here is what really happened, I wasn’t Praying 5 times a day consistently and that’s what caught their attention. Also like I said before we have a mosque in our house. But what really broke the camel’s back was I once told my immediate sister (we became close recently) that I was going out with a Christian girl(we broke up 2 weeks ago). She went and told my mother. What is even sad is that I can’t trust her anymore.
My parents tracked down my flatmate and interrogated him. It was then he told them that I don’t pray and fast during the ramadan. it was the fasting part that convinced them that I am lost. So I told them the truth to see how they will react which was a risky move.
After I told my parents about my apostasy, My elder brother was in rage, in fact he even suggested that I should be thrown out of the house because he can’t live with the fact that I am a kaffir and he even said this “no wonder your are still a loser and a black sheep in this family because you have offended Allah”, the news came as a shock to my mother ,when I tried to show them what deism really means they couldn’t bear it in their stomach and couldn’t bother to hear why I apostatize ,because they have already set their mind on converting me back to Islam.
I even showed them some of the scientific errors in qur’an especially the semen production because my mother was among the muslims championing the fact that Qur’an has a scientific facts before the scientist discover them .She even went to the extent of saying that she believes it, because Muhammad doesn’t know how to read or write and yet it was a miracle that he was able to bring out those scientific proofs. Despite showing them the errors, they still couldn’t believe all they see is their son going crazy spouting nonsense because he has been brainwashed by the enemies of Islam
When I excused myself from them to take a fresh air, the first thing I could think of was to come and log in CEMB to seek your advice and I would like to thank you guys for your help.
I realized that I have a lot to lose and will commit social suicide, I am still in college and financially dependent, so I felt that the best thing I can do is to go back to them and tell them that shaytan has tricked me into a doubt so I was lost and I am willing to convert back to Islam(so as to buy more time for myself by pretending)
To my surprise they believed me and were glad to hear the news, I pronounce the shahada and took ghusl(not really because I used a soap)
Despite what happened that day I wasn’t happy with the outcome why?
Because my family can’t accept who I really am, it’s understandable because if I was a Muslim I would react the same way. My parents are educated people especially my father who likes science and I learn a great deal form him. He is a chemical engineer. But I never thought religion could make an educated person become irrational and bias
Now I fully understand that Religion can blind you away from love and it’s all due to the fear of hell fire.
You know I wasn’t a serious student but after this incident the first thing I did today in the morning was to kick out my flatmate since I pay the rent and gave him a place to stay. My main goal now is to face my studies, get a good grades so that I can get a good job with a good pay, after I become self reliant, meet the woman of my choice to be with, and create my own family. later on in life I will tell them.
This may sound evil and harsh but I wish my mother won’t be alive if I come out of the closet again because I don’t think I can bear to watch her in pain and blame herself on how I became lost.
From now on no more distractions, no more parties or hanging out and living in boredom, Freedom is all I want, and getting good grades is my only gateway
I will be more cautious with my actions next time.
"I'm standing here like an asshole holding my Charles Dickens"
"No theory,No ready made system,no book that has ever been written to save the world. i cleave to no system.."-Bakunin
Topic: An Infidel living in the midst of muslims