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Theme Changer

 Topic: Relationships without attraction?

 (Read 22010 times)
  • 12 3 ... 8 Next page « Previous thread | Next thread »
  • Relationships without attraction?
     OP - October 20, 2010, 04:06 AM
    So say you're 10 years into a relationship with someone, when something changes and you are no longer attracted to them (because you realize you're gay, or just because of some other reason). Do you think that you can still have a healthy marriage/relationship without that aspect, if the relationship is otherwise fine?

    I'm thinking a situation in which you love them and enjoy spending time with them, sort of like a really close sibling or friend that you're not attracted to. As long as they sort of feel the same way (hence they don't become frustrated and angry), do you think this is a relationship worth staying in?

  • Re: Relationships without attraction?
     Reply #1 - October 20, 2010, 05:49 AM
    The sex is gonna get in the way. And it will ruin everything. Sex always do that.



    Dirty little sex. Filthy evil thing.


    Damn I need to get laid.
  • Re: Relationships without attraction?
     Reply #2 - October 20, 2010, 08:37 AM
    Quote from: zoomi on October 20, 2010, 04:06 AM
    So say you're 10 years into a relationship with someone, when something changes and you are no longer attracted to them (because you realize you're gay, or just because of some other reason). Do you think that you can still have a healthy marriage/relationship without that aspect, if the relationship is otherwise fine?

    I'm thinking a situation in which you love them and enjoy spending time with them, sort of like a really close sibling or friend that you're not attracted to. As long as they sort of feel the same way (hence they don't become frustrated and angry), do you think this is a relationship worth staying in?



    yes   there is no singular definition of what constitutes a relationship, provided you are both willing to make the compromises required then it can still work. 
    My Book     news002       
    My Blog  pccoffee
  • Re: Relationships without attraction?
     Reply #3 - October 20, 2010, 11:12 AM
    Quote from: BlackDog on October 20, 2010, 05:49 AM
    The sex is gonna get in the way. And it will ruin everything. Sex always do that.



    Dirty little sex. Filthy evil thing.


    Damn I need to get laid.

    He's no friend to the friendless
    And he's the mother of grief
    There's only sorrow for tomorrow
    Surely life is too brief
  • Re: Relationships without attraction?
     Reply #4 - October 20, 2010, 02:39 PM
    The concept of platonic relationships has always confused me, so I guess I would say no.

    And I need to get laid too.  Cry
  • Re: Relationships without attraction?
     Reply #5 - October 20, 2010, 03:03 PM
    Quote from: zoomi on October 20, 2010, 04:06 AM
    So say you're 10 years into a relationship with someone, when something changes and you are no longer attracted to them (because you realize you're gay, or just because of some other reason). Do you think that you can still have a healthy marriage/relationship without that aspect, if the relationship is otherwise fine?

    I'm thinking a situation in which you love them and enjoy spending time with them, sort of like a really close sibling or friend that you're not attracted to. As long as they sort of feel the same way (hence they don't become frustrated and angry), do you think this is a relationship worth staying in?


    It matters more if you're attracted to other people (beyond a bit of healthy windowshopping). If your eyes are straying, or you're seriously wishing you were with someone else, there is already some kind of disconnect there. That will obviously eat away at the relationship or drive a wedge between you.

    It also matters if your sex-drives are not synchronised, if one is just never interested and the other is, if one is just going through the motions and the other is fully hungry for it. That is corrosive to a relationship. A relationship should be more than just a habit. Its supposed to satisfy many different needs. If either isnt getting what they want of need, its only natural that they will at least think about going elsewhere for it, or actually take that step when the opportunity is presented. We are animals, after all.
    Too fucking busy, and vice versa.
  • Re: Relationships without attraction?
     Reply #6 - October 20, 2010, 06:18 PM
    Quote
    Damn I need to get laid.


    Thou prayeth to the prophet of orgasm, and he shall bringeth the intercourse uppon you.  piggy
    "We are never deceived, we deceive ourselves." - from Goethes Faust
    "Only the wisest and the stupidest men never change." - Confuzios
    "there is no religion of peace, only people who are peaceful while being religious."
  • Re: Relationships without attraction?
     Reply #7 - October 21, 2010, 04:31 AM
    Quote from: Ishina on October 20, 2010, 03:03 PM
    Its supposed to satisfy many different needs. If either isnt getting what they want of need, its only natural that they will at least think about going elsewhere for it, or actually take that step when the opportunity is presented. We are animals, after all.


    Even though I myself am a full monogamist[my womanizer father Roll Eyes]. I believe that a woman deserves a man who can satisfy her needs and desires and that if she isn't satisfied should be allowed to proceed on to a man who can. To me its nothing about sexuality being animalistic but rather simple biological rights.

    Also I believe that sex doesn't have to be animalistic. Sure it is driven by primitive instincts.

    But it can be done almost like an art and my own personal principle is that it should be reserved between those who are in love. For I hold it to be an exclusive act that lovers perform with each other, which both; gives an incredibly euphoric sensation and due to this being as such, reserve the performance of it with each other and also one that strengthens and deepens the bond that they have between them and increases their attachment over each other.

    That's why I want to become an ascetic unless I find the right woman.
  • Re: Relationships without attraction?
     Reply #8 - October 22, 2010, 12:32 PM
    Quote from: zoomi on October 20, 2010, 04:06 AM
    So say you're 10 years into a relationship with someone, when something changes and you are no longer attracted to them (because you realize you're gay, or just because of some other reason). Do you think that you can still have a healthy marriage/relationship without that aspect, if the relationship is otherwise fine?

    I'm thinking a situation in which you love them and enjoy spending time with them, sort of like a really close sibling or friend that you're not attracted to. As long as they sort of feel the same way (hence they don't become frustrated and angry), do you think this is a relationship worth staying in?




    We've all known that z10 is gay for some time now. I hope it works out for the two of you.
    ''we are morally and philisophically in the best position to win the league'' - Arsene Wenger
  • Re: Relationships without attraction?
     Reply #9 - October 22, 2010, 12:38 PM
     Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy
  • Re: Relationships without attraction?
     Reply #10 - October 22, 2010, 03:49 PM
    Quote from: abuyunus2 on October 22, 2010, 12:32 PM
    We've all known that z10 is gay for some time now. I hope it works out for the two of you.


     Cheesy Perfect burn.
    "In battle, the well-honed spork is more dangerous than the mightiest sword" -- Sun Tzu
  • Re: Relationships without attraction?
     Reply #11 - October 22, 2010, 09:04 PM
    Yes. I'm asexual and can't have sexual attraction with people. But, men always take issue in it/
    Quote from: Mount A Bison on September 26, 2010, 03:19 PM
    Is your grammar defective? Just askin'.


    "The wound is the place where the Light enters you." - Rumi

  • Re: Relationships without attraction?
     Reply #12 - October 22, 2010, 09:36 PM
    Yes evil bastard men. Because a woman wouldn't take issue with asexuality.
  • Re: Relationships without attraction?
     Reply #13 - October 22, 2010, 09:39 PM
    truesay  Afro
    My Book     news002       
    My Blog  pccoffee
  • Re: Relationships without attraction?
     Reply #14 - October 22, 2010, 09:45 PM
    I'm assexual.

    *sniggers childishly and runs away*
  • Re: Relationships without attraction?
     Reply #15 - October 22, 2010, 11:18 PM
    Haha, very funny.
    Quote from: Mount A Bison on September 26, 2010, 03:19 PM
    Is your grammar defective? Just askin'.


    "The wound is the place where the Light enters you." - Rumi

  • Re: Relationships without attraction?
     Reply #16 - October 22, 2010, 11:19 PM
    Quote from: BlackDog on October 22, 2010, 09:36 PM
    Yes evil bastard men. Because a woman wouldn't take issue with asexuality.


    This is true. Most women I know could care less about sex. It's mostly the man thing. Hence why I hate guys sometimes. Why can't you guys control yourselves?
    Quote from: Mount A Bison on September 26, 2010, 03:19 PM
    Is your grammar defective? Just askin'.


    "The wound is the place where the Light enters you." - Rumi

  • Re: Relationships without attraction?
     Reply #17 - October 22, 2010, 11:22 PM
    Quote from: pierced_beauty on October 22, 2010, 11:19 PM
    This is true. Most women I know could care less about sex. It's mostly the man thing. Hence why I hate guys sometimes. Why can't you guys control yourselves?


    T R O L L
  • Re: Relationships without attraction?
     Reply #18 - October 22, 2010, 11:25 PM
    I ain't no troll. I'm just asking.
    Quote from: Mount A Bison on September 26, 2010, 03:19 PM
    Is your grammar defective? Just askin'.


    "The wound is the place where the Light enters you." - Rumi

  • Re: Relationships without attraction?
     Reply #19 - October 22, 2010, 11:25 PM
    Why do women moan so much?
  • Re: Relationships without attraction?
     Reply #20 - October 22, 2010, 11:28 PM
    Because I want to meet a nice person who doesn't want sex and accepts that I'm asexual. That's why I get grumpy.
    Quote from: Mount A Bison on September 26, 2010, 03:19 PM
    Is your grammar defective? Just askin'.


    "The wound is the place where the Light enters you." - Rumi

  • Re: Relationships without attraction?
     Reply #21 - October 22, 2010, 11:29 PM
    http://www.asexuality.org/en/

    http://www.experienceproject.com/groups/Am-Asexual/420/forum
  • Re: Relationships without attraction?
     Reply #22 - October 22, 2010, 11:32 PM
    Quote from: pierced_beauty on October 22, 2010, 11:19 PM
    This is true. Most women I know could care less about sex. It's mostly the man thing. Hence why I hate guys sometimes. Why can't you guys control yourselves?

    Most women? Would most women not be bothered about kissing either?  

    Why cant girls control themselves?
    My Book     news002       
    My Blog  pccoffee
  • Re: Relationships without attraction?
     Reply #23 - October 22, 2010, 11:32 PM
    Quote from: pierced_beauty on October 22, 2010, 11:28 PM
    Because I want to meet a nice person who doesn't want sex and accepts that I'm asexual. That's why I get grumpy.


    Sorry I think you missed my point...nevermind.
  • Re: Relationships without attraction?
     Reply #24 - October 22, 2010, 11:34 PM
    PLEASE DO NOT FEED TROLLS

    Trolls have special diets, properly balanced for nutritional needs. Please - for their safety and for your health - do no feed them anything, even leaves.
  • Re: Relationships without attraction?
     Reply #25 - October 22, 2010, 11:42 PM
    I AM NOT A TROLL. I AM A MEMBER! WHY CAN'T YOU ANSWER MY QUESTION?!

    AND BY THE BY, I'M ALREADY A MEMBER OF THAT SITE.
    Quote from: Mount A Bison on September 26, 2010, 03:19 PM
    Is your grammar defective? Just askin'.


    "The wound is the place where the Light enters you." - Rumi

  • Re: Relationships without attraction?
     Reply #26 - October 22, 2010, 11:43 PM
    Answer my question. Why do women moan so much? It's annoying.
  • Re: Relationships without attraction?
     Reply #27 - October 22, 2010, 11:44 PM
    Moan in what way, a sexual way? If so, I wouldn't know because I'm a virgin and asexual...
    Quote from: Mount A Bison on September 26, 2010, 03:19 PM
    Is your grammar defective? Just askin'.


    "The wound is the place where the Light enters you." - Rumi

  • Re: Relationships without attraction?
     Reply #28 - October 22, 2010, 11:46 PM
    Quote from: BlackDog on October 20, 2010, 05:49 AM
    The sex is gonna get in the way. And it will ruin everything. Sex always do that.



    Dirty little sex. Filthy evil thing.


    Damn I need to get laid.


    lol. I NEED TO GET LAID, I'm turning 21 in 3 weeks!
    "The more I study religions the more I am convinced that man never worshiped anything but himself."
    ~Sir Richard Francis Burton

    "I think religion is just like smoking: Both invented by people, addictive, harmful, and kills!"
    ~RIBS
  • Re: Relationships without attraction?
     Reply #29 - October 22, 2010, 11:47 PM
    Quote from: pierced_beauty on October 22, 2010, 11:44 PM
    Moan in what way, a sexual way? If so, I wouldn't know because I'm a virgin and asexual...


    No I mean, all they do is "oh i dont have enough shoes", "oh my arse looks fat in this", "OMG you slept with my sister, you bastard". They just whine about trivial things, all the frickin time. Why?
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