He can be a shocker at times can't he.

That he can.
I agree, although I do want an ex muslim man so that my parents have some form of hope that i'm going to a reliable home where atleast the family has islamic values if not the man i'm marrying. But what you've just mentioned raises vital questions in my mind. What if the ex muslim I fall for also hasn't lost certain islamic or cultured ideals? What if he is downtrodden and follows his parents will obediently, I don't want a man like that; I doubt any one would.
Ok, just don't do this. Be braver, just love who you want to love when it happens. Fight your parents, take their rejection but don;t look for a man who fits a set of your parents ideals over your own since it is you who must live with them.
The thing is you have to ask yourself how 'out' are they? will their charade have to become your charade and will you make them play your charade to your parents?
Infact are they brave enough to ever break that charade?
You say that like it's a bad thing.

It's not berbsy it really isn't.
Meh, its cool honestly. I realised I don't need anyone to accept me, just for me to accept me. I will eventually. Probably be lying on my death bed going "You know what Berbs, you weren't all that bad"

I would only repeat what I said to you in PM, it's best to bury the bastard in the grave and trod all over him.
Again what I said in PM, your ex husband and your ex boyfriend were victims of insecure impotent futile disorder, and men like that tend to dump the humiliation and disgrace on the woman. Don't let em succeed, and don't let their words settle in your mind in belief. Don't believe them. Please.
Its cool, I should have added that its not worth arguing with me about this, since it ties in with those self worth issues and until I start to value myself as a person, silly things like this will jus carry on dwelling in my mind.
But hey, at least my mantra has become an every other day mantra, rather than a constant stream of a voice in my head saying "You're nothing, you're worthless, you're no-one", as I walked, as I tried to sleep, no matter what I did for so long that voice went round and round saying those same 3 words. But now it happens every other day, and soon it will be back to only when I'm really down.
Been some of the most miserable months I have experienced since my failed marriage. I'm not ever going through a rerun.
You bring this strong desire of lesbian love in me. I know a man will never be able to satisfy or fulfill you again, but I don't want you settling with no sexual pleasure at all. I wish I could be the lover you've always hoped for, and if anyone's wondering no I don't have any MILF fantasies, and neither do I consider Berbsy as a MILF.

Lol if only that was the route to go. I got close to a lady from the eating disorder clinic and we did hit it off and I did eventually sleep with her, but I don't talk to her as often anymore because she just went on a little bit psycho the last time we went out and tbh how is that any better?
But it was really nice, if it hadn't been for her behaviour that night, I would have liked testing those waters further.
And no, I'm not hitting on you

lol I'm not hitting on anyone atm to infinity and beyond.

errr multiple wtf moments.
So who the heck was this ex-Muslim guy you dated? I don't think I've read that before. But yeah, I know how you feel totally, I just know from a different perspective to a large extent I did what HO and Raza are going to do - all I can say is it it will be a big mistake. You on the other hand are a little different, you don't want just sex you also want that emotional bonding with a person which alot of guys would find hard doing, just take each day as it comes, in many cases sometimes its better being alone, if being with someone is going to make you feel more depressed. And don't get cats, cats will eat you if you die. You can get alot of inlinesses and pathogens from cats.
It doesn't really matter who it was. I think of him as a douche and that is the only name I need to remember him by.
In regards to the above bolded bit, seeing as how its reported that single women live longer than married women, I would say I am better off alone lol and its hilarious that men live longer if they are married.

Seems like they really do suck the life out of you, quite literally.