
My little sister, who worked in Manhattan called. I had just gone downstairs to
make coffee, (i was living in NC taking care of my dad who had Parkinson's
dosease) "Hi, just wanted to let you know I alright" She was six months pregnant
with my nephew.
"Great, you are okay, what happened?"
"you havent been watching the news?"
"no I just got up."
"turn on CNN, a plane JUST crashed into the world trade center"
"omg! How horrible! dad's not up yet, hang on"
Just as I turned on the TV, the second plane crashed into the world
trade center.
Shocked, I ran upstairs to wake my dad, firstly to let him know my
sister was alright before he had a chance to turn on the tv.
My best friend's son was a firefighter on the scene, and was killed
from falling debris.
I spent the next week or so in shock, grieved horribly, and couldn't
comprihend anyone doing this, no matter how great the hatred.
Then all the contriversial videos of people celibrating mixed with
ALL the love and condolences sent to us from around the world.
For a brief moment, I felt united with the world, all of us human,
all of us so ressiliant yet so fragile. My ptsd kicked in high gear
as I recalled bombings during my year in Turkey (1984)
and some very close calls I had, and why the fuck did I survive
them, and all these people didn't.
I thought of all the massive bombings prior to that around the world.
The unbelievable grief from my fellow human beings. I cried. ALOT.
I carried their pain in my heart. I cried for them, not myself.
Then the next day, the stock I had bought many years before, worth
like 138.00 a share (my retirement stock), got knocked down to
4.00 a share. It NEVER recovered, and just last year my broker sent
me a letter and paid me 9.00 a share.
I left NC on Oct 5th, cuz my dad was going to move in with my little
sister. As I drove cross country to Nevada, everywhere I stopped, it
was like a family reunion. I have never experienced such a broad
expression of "family" with Americans across the entire country. It
was unbelievable. What a paradox.