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 Topic: I still feel like Allah is watching me...

 (Read 6702 times)
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  • I still feel like Allah is watching me...
     OP - November 01, 2011, 01:36 PM
    I don't know if this is the right section to post this in, but here goes.

    A while back I left Islam and I am working to rid myself of it. I have educated myself about the problems and dangers of Islam, and the fascism and hatred that it presents. And yet, I continuously feel this ever-present ominous presence, which is the same thing I felt when I was a Muslim.

    What I mean is, let's say I read a quote from the Qur'an, and then I look upward as if I am looking at Allah. And I feel like Allah is looking back at me, and it really creeps me out. It scares me because I don't want to believe in a fascist and anti-Semitic and misogynistic god, but this feeling won't go.

    How did you guys do it? I know some of you actually grew up in Muslim countries, so you were probably far more brainwashed by Islam than I was. How did you guys get rid of that feeling of being watched by Allah, you know, the feeling that you would get when you knew you were doing something haraam?
    Pat Condell  -  ISLAM: What the West Needs to Know  -  Wafa Sultan
  • Re: I still feel like Allah is watching over me...
     Reply #1 - November 01, 2011, 01:42 PM
    My personal advice would be to research more into the psychology of religion. The 'presence' you feel will probably fade away the more you research.

    I compiled some vids in this thread...

    http://www.councilofexmuslims.com/index.php?topic=18469.0
    An alternative to religion;

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i2nfXfTg92E

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dWNW-NXEudk
  • Re: I still feel like Allah is watching me...
     Reply #2 - November 01, 2011, 02:35 PM
    Quote from: Sortsdam on November 01, 2011, 01:36 PM
    I don't know if this is the right section to post this in, but here goes.

    A while back I left Islam and I am working to rid myself of it. I have educated myself about the problems and dangers of Islam, and the fascism and hatred that it presents. And yet, I continuously feel this ever-present ominous presence, which is the same thing I felt when I was a Muslim.

    What I mean is, let's say I read a quote from the Qur'an, and then I look upward as if I am looking at Allah. And I feel like Allah is looking back at me, and it really creeps me out. It scares me because I don't want to believe in a fascist and anti-Semitic and misogynistic god, but this feeling won't go.

    How did you guys do it? I know some of you actually grew up in Muslim countries, so you were probably far more brainwashed by Islam than I was. How did you guys get rid of that feeling of being watched by Allah, you know, the feeling that you would get when you knew you were doing something haraam?


    I still feel like that quite regularly - though this feeling isn't associated with the God described in the Qur'an - or any religion I know of.
  • Re: I still feel like Allah is watching me...
     Reply #3 - November 01, 2011, 03:16 PM
    i don't feel watched .. rather more like i'm under constant surveillance by my own conscience.. like jiminy cricket.. damn bug!..
    strangestdude is right about researching psychology of religion..
    helps alot.. helped me
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NV9vdUjuWxc
  • Re: I still feel like Allah is watching me...
     Reply #4 - November 01, 2011, 03:17 PM
    Sometimes when I have to read the Quran or pray (most of my family don't know I'm an exxie) I read and pray properly instead of daydreaming because I feel like I'd be cheating Allah--even though at the same time I don't mind swearing at him  wacko
  • Re: I still feel like Allah is watching me...
     Reply #5 - November 01, 2011, 03:31 PM
    Quote from: nessrriinn on November 01, 2011, 03:16 PM
    more like i'm under constant surveillance by my own conscience.. like jiminy cricket.. damn bug!..


    That's a good way of putting it, Ness  Afro
  • Re: I still feel like Allah is watching me...
     Reply #6 - November 01, 2011, 04:45 PM
    that's weird, i forgot i used to have that feeling. I kind of gave up Allah, so to speak, 2 years ago, but it's not like the feeling of allah watching me went away, rather i realised i was just watching and judging myself, what i thought of allah was infact my own creation based upon all the information i had been given on what allah is i.e. what his preferences, likes/dislikes. Allah was a character i created, like the way an actor creates his character from the information he receives of the script and director

    Quote from: Aphrodite on November 01, 2011, 03:17 PM
    Sometimes when I have to read the Quran or pray (most of my family don't know I'm an exxie) I read and pray properly instead of daydreaming because I feel like I'd be cheating Allah--even though at the same time I don't mind swearing at him  wacko


    i kinda get that except, i dont feel i would be cheating allah, i feel like i am cheating myself.
    "The words that oscillate between nonsense and supreme meaning are the oldest and truest." - C.G. Jung
  • Re: I still feel like Allah is watching me...
     Reply #7 - November 01, 2011, 04:51 PM
    I never really felt like allah was watching me before, only the jinn whilst I was on the toilet because they like to hang out there and watch people pee.

    I do sometimes, momentarily have brief fear of hell waiting for me (the whole o.O pascal is riding me again moment), but then I remember all the reasons it's a fantasy and move past it.  I'm hoping to one day shake that completely.

    Don't want to be a deathbed desperado.
    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: I still feel like Allah is watching me...
     Reply #8 - November 01, 2011, 04:57 PM
    Quote from: BerberElla on November 01, 2011, 04:51 PM
    I never really felt like allah was watching me before, only the jinn whilst I was on the toilet because they like to hang out there and watch people pee.


    that explains alot

    i go in toilet, pull down my pants, start peeing

    then i hear sound..

    *fap fap fap fap fap
    "The words that oscillate between nonsense and supreme meaning are the oldest and truest." - C.G. Jung
  • Re: I still feel like Allah is watching me...
     Reply #9 - November 01, 2011, 04:59 PM
    That's because you're wanking in the toilet again.

    Ceiling cat told me.

    He also said the fapping was so fast you could tell it wasn't long strokes......is that true?
    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: I still feel like Allah is watching me...
     Reply #10 - November 01, 2011, 05:01 PM
     Cheesy
    Formerly known as Iblis
  • Re: I still feel like Allah is watching me...
     Reply #11 - November 01, 2011, 05:51 PM
     Cheesy Cheesy
  • Re: I still feel like Allah is watching me...
     Reply #12 - November 01, 2011, 05:56 PM
     Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy that one deserves an award!!
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NV9vdUjuWxc
  • Re: I still feel like Allah is watching me...
     Reply #13 - November 01, 2011, 06:00 PM
    Quote from: Sortsdam on November 01, 2011, 01:36 PM
    I don't know if this is the right section to post this in, but here goes.

    A while back I left Islam and I am working to rid myself of it. I have educated myself about the problems and dangers of Islam, and the fascism and hatred that it presents. And yet, I continuously feel this ever-present ominous presence, which is the same thing I felt when I was a Muslim.

    What I mean is, let's say I read a quote from the Qur'an, and then I look upward as if I am looking at Allah. And I feel like Allah is looking back at me, and it really creeps me out. It scares me because I don't want to believe in a fascist and anti-Semitic and misogynistic god, but this feeling won't go.

    How did you guys do it? I know some of you actually grew up in Muslim countries, so you were probably far more brainwashed by Islam than I was. How did you guys get rid of that feeling of being watched by Allah, you know, the feeling that you would get when you knew you were doing something haraam?


    I recently left Islam as well. I think it's only normal that you sometimes still feel like that, get ridding of Islamic habit will not go away overnight... I'm still trying to stop saying Bismaillah whenever I eat. Just don't focus on it too much.

    A-La3natu 3la Allah!  dance
  • Re: I still feel like Allah is watching me...
     Reply #14 - November 01, 2011, 06:35 PM
    Quote from: BerberElla on November 01, 2011, 04:59 PM
    That's because you're wanking in the toilet again.

    Ceiling cat told me.

    He also said the fapping was so fast you could tell it wasn't long strokes......is that true?


    "The words that oscillate between nonsense and supreme meaning are the oldest and truest." - C.G. Jung
  • Re: I still feel like Allah is watching me...
     Reply #15 - November 02, 2011, 05:02 AM
    This may not be the whole reason, but part of it may be because of how many reinforcing etiquette practices there are in Islam. Almost anything you do, you're constantly reminded of doing things the "right" way (always using your right hand or repeating things 3 times). I dunno..but i noticed this a lot after I stopped practicing, so many reinforcing behaviours that are hard to break away from at first.
    "Live a good life. If there are god(s) and they are just, you will be rewarded based on virtue. If they're unjust, then you shouldn't want to worship them. If there are no gods, you will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of others."

    -Re-interpretation of Marcus Aurelius
  • Re: I still feel like Allah is watching me...
     Reply #16 - November 02, 2011, 05:20 AM
    This is all very interesting. I guess I always felt this presence, and then Muslims start telling me about all the minor signs, and I think, oh shit, this is really accurate. Of course Muhammad never said that AIDS would come about, but you can make up a lot of bullshit about religion before people start asking you to source it.

    Anyway, Strangestdude I think you were spot on: the more research I do and the more I can disprove Islam, even with something as basic as common sense and logic, the more it makes Allah go away.

    I am also thinking that I need to stop listening to nasheeds. I mean, I don't really listen to nasheeds much, but sometimes they are stuck in my head and so I listen on YouTube and then, bam!, I'm right back to having Islam and Allah at the forefront of my mind. Instead of randomly drawing when I'm bored and paper is available, as many do, I write random words and phrases in Arabic, much of it Islam-themed, which I gotta stop as well... Maybe I should just throw away or delete anything that is even remotely reminiscent of Islam. Except of course this forum.
    Pat Condell  -  ISLAM: What the West Needs to Know  -  Wafa Sultan
  • Re: I still feel like Allah is watching me...
     Reply #17 - November 02, 2011, 10:50 AM
    Quote from: Sortsdam on November 02, 2011, 05:20 AM
    I am also thinking that I need to stop listening to nasheeds. I mean, I don't really listen to nasheeds much, but sometimes they are stuck in my head and so I listen on YouTube and then, bam!


    Don't worry dude I think that happens to most of us. The emotional conditioning of Islam/'religion is insidious, I know from personal experience of leaving a cult previously it will takes a while for the emotional conditioning to subside.

    Generally I don't have the 'feel' of Islam/theism, but every now and then it will be aroused by some art, or meeting muslims who I shared experiences with. A heartfelt Quran recitation is still moving to me - as long as I don't know what is being said.

    Yesterday in fact, I was watching an atheist presentation of arguments against the existence of God. The irony was - he was mocking the Kalam argument by putting pictures of nature and dramatic music during it's presentation, but I began to get the old 'theist' feel back. I've heard the Kalam argument many many times, yet because of the photos and music accompanying it I began to feel moved by it on this occasion.

    Afterwards I contemplated the argument anew, and again came to the conclusion that it's bullshit. It surprised me how the presentation of the argument would elicit such a response from me - but psychology can explain that  Smiley.  
    An alternative to religion;

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i2nfXfTg92E

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dWNW-NXEudk
  • Re: I still feel like Allah is watching me...
     Reply #18 - November 02, 2011, 11:21 AM
    that reminds me of a philhellense video..  yes yep most everything does..  grin12
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ZDIbw9qyCo
    listen to the story..  grin12
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NV9vdUjuWxc
  • Re: I still feel like Allah is watching me...
     Reply #19 - November 02, 2011, 11:37 AM
    when are you two gonna get married? Wink
  • Re: I still feel like Allah is watching me...
     Reply #20 - November 02, 2011, 11:58 AM
    the "m" word!!!..  Over react
     it's more like ...
    me Phwoar
    him  Snap out of it
    lol
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NV9vdUjuWxc
  • Re: I still feel like Allah is watching me...
     Reply #21 - November 02, 2011, 12:09 PM
     Cheesy
  • Re: I still feel like Allah is watching me...
     Reply #22 - November 02, 2011, 12:16 PM
    Quote from: nessrriinn on November 02, 2011, 11:21 AM
    that reminds me of a philhellense video..  yes yep most everything does..  grin12
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ZDIbw9qyCo
    listen to the story..  grin12


    That was fantastic!!! Thanks for posting ness, I'm gonna go through the rest of phil's vids now - they helped me to deconvert.
    An alternative to religion;

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i2nfXfTg92E

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dWNW-NXEudk
  • Re: I still feel like Allah is watching me...
     Reply #23 - November 02, 2011, 02:32 PM
    Allah IS still watching you.
    Allah knows everything you do.
    Allah knows everything you think.
    Allah does have access to the inside of your head.

    That is because Allah is a construct of your mind.  Allah is the personality your mind constructed to represent something intangible so that a non-existent personality could exist, just like how you construct a personality of a relative you have never met that your parents talk about so often.

    This alternate personality has access to everything inside your mind, but nothing outside of it. So imagine a little man inside your head. Imagine you can go inside there with him and bitch slap him, and all he can do is to whimper.  Grab him around the neck and throttle him, watch how he falls to his knees.  Flick him with your finger and watch him fly across your mind.  Spit on him.  Blow him over.  Eventually see him for what he is, nothing, and then imagine him shouting "nooooo" as he slowly fades away.

    Any time you get an Allah twinge just purse your lips and blow, then imagine the mini-you in your mind getting blown away like a worthless tumble weed.
    I don't come here any more due to unfair moderation.
    http://www.councilofexmuslims.com/index.php?topic=30785
  • Re: I still feel like Allah is watching me...
     Reply #24 - November 02, 2011, 02:37 PM
    i am allah. as you are allah. as we are all allah.

     cool2
  • Re: I still feel like Allah is watching me...
     Reply #25 - November 02, 2011, 02:47 PM
    Fuck Allah!
  • Re: I still feel like Allah is watching me...
     Reply #26 - November 02, 2011, 03:05 PM
    actually, when I left islam, everything went very quiet lol.
    All the damned chattering monkeys in my head ceased   Cheesy

    So tell me this.  WHY do you think Allah is up?  why not straight
    ahead, or to your side, or below you? He is supposedly omnipresent,
    right? LOL  
    When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.
    Helen Keller
  • Re: I still feel like Allah is watching me...
     Reply #27 - November 02, 2011, 03:15 PM
    No, Allah is a cunt! Just like Muhammed!
  • Re: I still feel like Allah is watching me...
     Reply #28 - November 02, 2011, 03:16 PM
     Cheesy
    Formerly known as Iblis
  • Re: I still feel like Allah is watching me...
     Reply #29 - November 02, 2011, 03:45 PM
    It`s called existensial emptiness or that is at least what i call it. You dont need Allah, you just need a hug.  grin12
    "Beauty is truth, truth beauty," - that is all
            Ye know on earth, and all ye need to know.

    - John Keats
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