Hi Da_Dude, thanks for your reply.
You put a lot of effort into it and I appreciate it. My answer shan't be satisfactory, I know, but I'll try my best.
Why do we have to be tested on this earth with huge amounts of suffering? Why do some people suffer more than others? Do I have to suffer more than say the guy across the street 'cause I'm weaker than him? Do I have to suffer more to make me stronger somehow?
I was wondering this too, cuz clearly I have one of the easiest life's from people in this forum, and I don't understand why? :/ I mean, even if I was an atheist (or a deist, which is basically the same thing
), it seems so unjust. A feeling of cosmic universal injustice that no amount of intellectualising can do away with :/
I wish we all got the same slice of pie Dude.
Sorry that yours has been so tough.
And Islamically, well---some pain, I think, is unjustifiably immense. Otherwise I'm sure you know Muslims' answers. Suffering according to what one can bear, as a means of growth, higher levels of Paradise, etc etc.
dog stuff
I get your point, and actually I thought it was weird that the People of Heaven would kinda laugh at those in Hell :/ in the Qur'an, maybe it represented ultimate justice through humiliation or something, I dunno.
But while it is ugly in that aspect, once that mindset of "be grateful and appreciative to God" is kinda internalised, it is a nice and kinda beautiful one. But I'm in group (a), what can I say for groups (b) or (c)!
Why would I want to worship someone who is so sadistic, who already knows where I'm going, what will happen to me, and how my end will be? Not to mention making this life as awful as it has been from when I was born (yes, my life wasn't easy from the moment I was born). If there is a god, what is the point in it all? Really, what is the point? What is the point in creating children only to watch them be beaten to death at a young age (a large portion of children's deaths before the age of 1 is due to murder, neglect, and assault)? What is the point in creating a world full of people just to worship him? Is his ego that small?
Je ne sais pas.
What I want to know, is why did Allah/god create me knowing full well that I would end up going off the tracks and become an atheist? Why when he is all-knowing, all-seeing, knows the past, present and future, why would he create me for this?
Your life hasn't ended.
You could always go back you know.
Why would he create me to burn and watch me cry many hours of dua when I started having doubts, dua to be kept on sirat ul-mustaqim, why would he let me veer straight off into the path of jahanam when I struggled so hard to stay on the true path? Is that just? Does that make sense for a just and merciful (ar-rahman ar-raheem) omniscient and omnipotent being to allow me to go this way when I tried so hard to be faithful and obedient to him?
I can't speak for your experiences, but in mine I'm torn between three things:
1. What I find to be beautiful (Islam -- generally speaking, some aspects are kinda ehh)
2. What I find to be intellectually true (constantly confused, but atm it's deism from what little I know)
3. What I want to be true (Islam because it'll make life easier, but not Islam because then I'd have pray 5 times a day and give up other things that I enjoy, like wasting time
)
So I feel like if Islam were true, my prayers for sirat-ul-mustiqeem are kinda insincere, because sometimes I want Islam to not be true, and of course prayers are answered through the prayee's efforts and intentions, not in spite of them, and that would affect the result of the prayer. :/ If that makes sense.
But I can't speak for anyone else.
How is worshiping him good for us? When I am more moral now than I ever was as a muslim? I have more integrity now, I am no longer lying to myself about some dude up in the sky that previously I was trying to desperately hold onto. I get more out of writing and reading and drawing and cleaning my house than I ever did praying to him.
I don't
My productivity has shot down. 3001 posts in 3 months, Dude, I've never wasted so much time in my life before!
But I'm glad you're happier
And then we come to the fact that there are so many religions on this earth, which is the right one? Almost all of them claim to be the right religion and all others wrong, so if Allah/god was really merciful and just, how can he expect us to know which one is the right one to follow? Just because he sent a prophet with an apparently infallible book to show us the right way? I've read many sacred scriptures, some that have long since been deemed as being heretic but in the past was considered the true way by many people, and most of them say the same thing: this is the right way, this book is holy and good and perfect and infallible, this books will show you the right way, and if you don't do x,y, z, then you're going to burn for eternity. Many men have come asking us to believe that they will show us the right path, that they have been ordained by god/allah/whoever, and that if we don't listen to them we are going to burn. So if Allah/god is really ar-rahman ar-raheem and all just, then why should picking the right path to follow be so hard? Should I burn simply because if I tried to pick the right path I probably couldn't? Should I burn because I am not as enlightened as everyone else in the world? Should I burn because I cannot make myself believe in something that my brain cannot accept?
Yeah that's a toughie. If Islam was true, it would be clearer. :/ The fact that it isn't clearer doesn't bode too well for it.
But I don't know how much my understanding of Islam and other religions are muddied by bias, prejudice, and flat out internal rejection. :/ For instance, with Christianity, I'm pretty sure that I hold no bias for or against it. If the Christian conception of life were to be true, and God the Father said to me: "Chepea you're going to Hell!" I could say, with a perfectly clear conscience, that it was unjust because I have sincerely explored Christianity and found it to be false. I can't say the same for Islam, and until I can, I think God (Islamic) would be justified in punishing me. :/ I guess I'm afraid that if I leave Islam as a culture too, I'll love non-Islamic life so much that my reasons for leaving Islam will no longer be based on reason, but on pure 'want'. And of course no-one can live with integrity if they ignore things based simply on what they find more satisfying in the carnal sense :/
Ahhhh :/ I have to study Maths now
Enough of this Islamic fluff and duff
Thanks Da_Dude, take care.
Topic: Leaving CEMB