Skip navigation
Sidebar -

Advanced search options →
↑ ↓
CEMB → Forum → Welcome to the forum → The Lounge → The Wahhy Project

Welcome

Welcome to CEMB forum.
Please login or register. Did you miss your activation email?

Donations

Help keep the Forum going!
Click on Kitty to donate:

Kitty is lost

Recent Posts

Lights on the way
by akay
Today at 02:51 PM
Do humans have needed kno...
Today at 06:45 AM
What music are you listen...
by zeca
Yesterday at 08:08 PM
Gaza assault
Yesterday at 07:56 PM
Qur'anic studies today
by zeca
Yesterday at 05:07 PM
New Britain
November 20, 2024, 05:41 PM
اضواء على الطريق ....... ...
by akay
November 20, 2024, 09:02 AM
Marcion and the introduct...
by zeca
November 19, 2024, 11:36 PM
Dutch elections
by zeca
November 15, 2024, 10:11 PM
Random Islamic History Po...
by zeca
November 15, 2024, 08:46 PM
AMRIKAAA Land of Free .....
November 07, 2024, 09:56 AM
The origins of Judaism
by zeca
November 02, 2024, 12:56 PM

Theme Changer

 Topic: The Wahhy Project

 (Read 54397 times)
  • Previous page 1 2 34 5 ... 8 Next page « Previous thread | Next thread »
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #60 - February 04, 2013, 09:55 PM
    No, I won't stone you, just disappoint you.
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #61 - February 04, 2013, 11:44 PM
    Quote from: Jila on February 04, 2013, 01:19 AM
    Surat Al-Lipgloss (Based on Al-Asr)

    By party time
    Indeed, without lipgloss, men are in loss
    Except those who have MAC, estee lauder, and advised each other to have at least one shade in electric pink

    Surat Al-Belly Dance (Based on Al-Zalzalah)

    When the dancefloor is shaken with its final earthquake
    And the party people discharge their burdens
    And the DJ says "why don't we belly dance?"
    That day there will be a dance off
    Because your DJ Lord demanded it
    That day, people will shake their ass so hard
    So whoever does an atoms weight of shimmy will see it
    And whoever does and atoms weight of dabke will see it

    omfg I'm so going to hell.


    It makes no difference wether or not you keep these verses to yourself or not, it's to late, God know's you've already thought them so you might as well get them out there and have a laugh.
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #62 - February 05, 2013, 01:18 AM



    Surat al-Beyonce


    1. The Beyonce

    2. Verily a wench Your Lord did say

    3. And by which combination of sperm and sand

    4. Thy lord hath created such gluteus maximus with His own hand

    5. And did not Queen Sheba also entrance

    6. Infidels and Nubians with her buttock-quaking dance?

    7. As a pagan Goddess she stands beside

    8. Allat, Manat, al-Uzza but they subside

    9. When placed as an idol next to This body

    10. With siren voice and Pagan Booty

    11. The Satanic courtesan, Queen Beyonce

    12. So apple in Thy thighs and Eyes even angels go astray!

    "we can smell traitors and country haters"


    Quote from: arX on May 01, 2011, 03:33 AM
    God is Love.
    Love is Blind. Stevie Wonder is blind. Therefore, Stevie Wonder is God.

  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #63 - February 05, 2013, 01:32 AM
    lol. I would have expected a more Zaynab style revelation about Beyonce  Wink
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #64 - February 05, 2013, 01:36 AM
    Plenty of scope for future Zaynab style revelations  Afro
    "we can smell traitors and country haters"


    Quote from: arX on May 01, 2011, 03:33 AM
    God is Love.
    Love is Blind. Stevie Wonder is blind. Therefore, Stevie Wonder is God.

  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #65 - February 05, 2013, 01:39 AM
     Cheesy
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #66 - February 05, 2013, 02:23 AM
    Surat al-Ahmed

    1.   O righteous murtads
    2.   Hath it not reached to ye the news of thy obedient messenger, Ahmed?
    3.   Yea, he was the most noble one, questioner of his times
    4.   We tested Ahmed, not once, but twice
    5.   His family were of the devout Muslims, yet we placed a seed of doubt in Ahmed’s heart
    6.   Verily, Ahmed was strong in prayer yet thy prayers were never answered
    7.   He observed the scripture for answers but recognized the inconsistences within
    8.   ‘Hath we be able to beat our wives?’ Ahmed proclaimed
    9.   ‘By thy most perverted lord, what nonsense is this!’ Ahmed complained
    10.   Verily, Ahmed witnessed our signs
    11.   Thy lord was not convinced, Ahmed was tested again
    12.   He observed the scriptures before him, thy wretched Torah and Injeel
    13.   And within Ahmed became more so convinced
    14.   “I swear by thy middle finger, tis all be bullshit!” said Ahmed
    15.   Indeed did thy lord guideth Ahmed to the straight path
    16.   And doth we reveal the story of Ahmed to the disbelievers
    17.   As a mercy and a sign, so ye may take heed
    18.   Sadaqallahul Azeem
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #67 - February 06, 2013, 08:39 PM
    Surah Al Motor

    Woah! Verily, we have granted you a motor!
    Your lord doth command you to attach it to a floater! (The Ulema tell us floater means boat.)
    Go forth, make a living on the sea as a boater! (The Ulema are in debate about this verse, but the general opinion is that the verse commands us to boaters)
    Verily, your lord is a great promoter! (This verse is rich in meaning. The word promoter has two meanings here. First, the obvious meaning of someone who promotes a cause. But also, if you look closely, the word is also PRO-MOTER. The lord is telling us that he is pro-motor. He is in support of motors! Amazing. Look at the linguistic miracle. No man could have come up with this.)
    Maliki yawm ul LULZ
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #68 - February 06, 2013, 09:04 PM
    Surah hello.jpg

    1. By the Moon.
    2. And the Great Widening.
    3. Verily, we have given unto you a great undertaking.
    4. For the worthiest amongst you are in possession of the widest gates to Paradise
    5. A way that is forbidden unto the Unbelievers, who may not pass thence, be it even by the merest fingertip.
    6. O believers! Allah commands you to plant trees in Sharjah
    7. For he who places wood within a fundament is blessed beyond measure.

    Before it gets too late, you will find escape.
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #69 - February 06, 2013, 09:13 PM
    Quote
    Your lord doth command you to attach it to a floater! (The Ulema tell us floater means boat.)


    omgawd I am dying over here!   Cheesy 
    Do not go gentle into that good night.
    Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #70 - February 06, 2013, 09:18 PM
    speaking of motors....I'm waiting for "Suratul-Harley" or in other translations: "Suratul-Heritage Softail Classic"
    Do not go gentle into that good night.
    Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #71 - February 06, 2013, 10:00 PM
    Quote from: Diem on February 06, 2013, 08:39 PM
    Surah Al Motor

    Woah! Verily, we have granted you a motor!
    Your lord doth command you to attach it to a floater! (The Ulema tell us floater means boat.)
    Go forth, make a living on the sea as a boater! (The Ulema are in debate about this verse, but the general opinion is that the verse commands us to boaters)
    Verily, your lord is a great promoter! (This verse is rich in meaning. The word promoter has two meanings here. First, the obvious meaning of someone who promotes a cause. But also, if you look closely, the word is also PRO-MOTER. The lord is telling us that he is pro-motor. He is in support of motors! Amazing. Look at the linguistic miracle. No man could have come up with this.)


    LOOLLL  Cheesy Love it!
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #72 - February 06, 2013, 10:12 PM
    brilliant  Grin

    I love this thread

    "we can smell traitors and country haters"


    Quote from: arX on May 01, 2011, 03:33 AM
    God is Love.
    Love is Blind. Stevie Wonder is blind. Therefore, Stevie Wonder is God.

  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #73 - February 06, 2013, 10:18 PM
    Quote from: Diem on February 06, 2013, 08:39 PM
    Surah Al Motor

    Woah! Verily, we have granted you a motor!
    Your lord doth command you to attach it to a floater! (The Ulema tell us floater means boat.)
    Go forth, make a living on the sea as a boater! (The Ulema are in debate about this verse, but the general opinion is that the verse commands us to boaters)
    Verily, your lord is a great promoter! (This verse is rich in meaning. The word promoter has two meanings here. First, the obvious meaning of someone who promotes a cause. But also, if you look closely, the word is also PRO-MOTER. The lord is telling us that he is pro-motor. He is in support of motors! Amazing. Look at the linguistic miracle. No man could have come up with this.)


    That's bloody brilliant. LOL. Cheesy Seriously, this needs to be in a humor magazine for ex-Muslims.
    Tell the bird of superstitions not to speak
    The string of reasons will tie its beak
    Even if faith comes with water of the seven seas
    It'll evaporate on the griddle of wisdom with a shriek.

     - Josh Malihabadi
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #74 - February 06, 2013, 10:21 PM
    mohammed, you just gave me an idea for an awesome zine

    the time has come.
    Do not go gentle into that good night.
    Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #75 - February 06, 2013, 10:21 PM
    hmmm....what should we tittle it though?  every good zine has a kick a** tittle
    Do not go gentle into that good night.
    Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #76 - February 06, 2013, 10:22 PM
    Tabby is kinda like my Umar. She makes a statement and Jibreel comes to affirm what she says:

    Suratul-Harley

    1.   By the Harley’s, roaring
    2.   On open roads, exploring
    3.   With RPMs, soaring
    4.   And onlookers, adoring
    5.   Verily, Tabby was born to be wild
    6.   And verily, she was made a true nature’s child
    7.   See thou not how she sits on the heritage softail?
    8.   In full leather gear, and shining chrome detail?
    9.   Stopping only to eat and enjoy strong ale?
    9.  Yea, by your lord, she is one badass female!
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #77 - February 06, 2013, 10:29 PM
    *laughing whilst screen-printing Suratul-Harley on a Tshirt*   Cheesy

    heh heh heh...

    this revelation must be divine...for verily it cometh so quick and with such ease!  'tis a marvel indeed!  Al-Hamdu-HappyMurtad.
    Do not go gentle into that good night.
    Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #78 - February 06, 2013, 10:30 PM
    Quote
    Tabby is kinda like my Umar. She makes a statement and Jibreel comes to affirm what she says:


    ha!  and I have a temperament just like Umar to match it.  trust me
    Do not go gentle into that good night.
    Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #79 - February 06, 2013, 10:33 PM
     Cheesy We just need an Abu Bakr and we can start our own empire!! lol Billy strikes me as the Abu Bakr type. Don't worry billy, I won't marry your kids.  Afro
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #80 - February 06, 2013, 10:35 PM
    Quote from: tabularasa on February 06, 2013, 10:21 PM
    hmmm....what should we tittle it though?  every good zine has a kick a** tittle


    Quote from: tabularasa on February 06, 2013, 10:21 PM
    hmmm....what should we tittle it though?  every good zine has a kick a** tittle


    'Murtad Express.' 'The "Final" Revelation.' 'Al-Quran Al-Hilarious.' I'm sure there's more better titles out there.
    Tell the bird of superstitions not to speak
    The string of reasons will tie its beak
    Even if faith comes with water of the seven seas
    It'll evaporate on the griddle of wisdom with a shriek.

     - Josh Malihabadi
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #81 - February 06, 2013, 10:36 PM
    Murtad Express....hmmm, it's gotta ring to it.....

    i'll have to sleep on this....
    Do not go gentle into that good night.
    Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #82 - February 06, 2013, 10:37 PM
    'Al-Quran Al-Hilarious.'  Cheesy lmao
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #83 - February 06, 2013, 10:37 PM
    Quote from: happymurtad on February 06, 2013, 10:33 PM
    Cheesy We just need an Abu Bakr and we can start our own empire!! lol Billy strikes me as the Abu Bakr type. Don't worry billy, I won't marry your kids.  Afro


     literally rolling on the floor LoL Grin
    "we can smell traitors and country haters"


    Quote from: arX on May 01, 2011, 03:33 AM
    God is Love.
    Love is Blind. Stevie Wonder is blind. Therefore, Stevie Wonder is God.

  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #84 - February 06, 2013, 10:39 PM
    No, seriously, we should do something with this. Lets allow the thread to grow organically with contributions and then let the revelations choose the format though, the spontaneity is what is bringing the genius out  Afro
    "we can smell traitors and country haters"


    Quote from: arX on May 01, 2011, 03:33 AM
    God is Love.
    Love is Blind. Stevie Wonder is blind. Therefore, Stevie Wonder is God.

  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #85 - February 06, 2013, 10:40 PM
    Quote
    We just need an Abu Bakr and we can start our own empire!!


    Oh, we're already an Empire!  And we're Striking Back like a motherf***r
    Do not go gentle into that good night.
    Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #86 - February 06, 2013, 10:53 PM
    I think we should do kinda like an “If you like…, then you’ll love…” campaign. If you like Suratul Kawthar, you’ll LOVE Suratul Motor.  If you like Suratul Aadiyat, You’ll LOVE suratul Harley” lol … Should really catch people off guard!
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #87 - February 06, 2013, 10:58 PM
    Quote from: happymurtad on February 06, 2013, 10:53 PM
    I think we should do kinda like an “If you like…, then you’ll love…” campaign. If you like Suratul Kawthar, you’ll LOVE Suratul Motor.  If you like Suratul Aadiyat, You’ll LOVE suratul Harley” lol … Should really catch people off guard!


    There's great potential in this. Satire exists among Atheists/Agnostics in the Christian and Jewish community, so why can't it exist amongst ex-Muslims making fun of Islam? The people on this thread are extremely talented Smiley
    Tell the bird of superstitions not to speak
    The string of reasons will tie its beak
    Even if faith comes with water of the seven seas
    It'll evaporate on the griddle of wisdom with a shriek.

     - Josh Malihabadi
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #88 - February 06, 2013, 11:08 PM
    Thank you thank you. I'll be here for about another 20 years until someone casts a spell on me and I die.
    Maliki yawm ul LULZ
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #89 - February 06, 2013, 11:33 PM
    Quote from: Mohammed Mohsin on February 06, 2013, 10:58 PM
    There's great potential in this. Satire exists among Atheists/Agnostics in the Christian and Jewish community, so why can't it exist amongst ex-Muslims making fun of Islam?

    Coz that would be racist and Islamophobic innit. Smiley
    Devious, treacherous, murderous, neanderthal, sub-human of the West. bunny
  • Previous page 1 2 34 5 ... 8 Next page « Previous thread | Next thread »