according to scholars its meant to be a symbol of how upset your husband is, to humiliate her, but not hurt her. I'm going to tell you off!! Then i'm not going to talk to you anymore and no sex for you!!! Then if it goes that far i'm gonna fuckiiing tap you with my toothbrush, That's how pissed I am!!
And whats your options if he's out of line and disobeying Allah? Advise him with kind words, can't not give him sex, so give him more sex, and erm live with it and make dua you'll be rewarded for your trials kmt.
This is my biggest issue with it. Even
if the scholars were right and men can't beat their wives, there's still no equivalent for a woman. I do remember being taught in class once that the only time a Muslim woman can disobey her husband is if he tells her to do something that is un-Islamic.
I have mentioned it before, but I personally believe men in a general sense should protect and look out for women, maybe i'm a bit of traditionalist. Although a lot of men are weeners, i'd probably get my mum to back a fight rather than some men lol,. But in a general sense. I think for the time it may have been suitable to be overprotective, though its a bit strange that in the earlier days of Islam women would fight in the wars, cut a mans head off but I want to shelter you from harm now. Sheltering ppl makes it worse for them when they are actually confronted with something. I remember when I got mugged and I couldn't chase after him or kick him off his bike because my abaya restricted me from that movement, and I repeatedly was told an abaya protected me, in that moment I thought if I was attacked, my abaya would of made me an easier victom because I couldn't run away effectively, so joggers and trainers and the ability to run would protect me more that this big black cloth.
I personally have no issues if a guy said he wanted to protect me. Have at it. The problems come if he decides that I am inferior to him because of it. As that is what Islam says.
Something that's been apparent to me since I researched islam is that the modesty thing is something of a paradox. The point of the hijab (and burka, and niqab, and so on) is to understate your gender while at the same time highlighting exactly that. It empathises the fact you're female while at the same time trying to downplay it. It's rather strange, like being told not to think of a black dog while having a picture of a black dog shoved in my face.
Yep. If it helps, my friends and I always preferred the hijab because we, being raised in the west, saw how women here were objectified and didn't want that to happen to us. Not knowing of course that Muslim women are objectified, too. I don't know if you've seen any hijab memes, Quod, but this one seems to be a favorite:
Being female, we're taught from an early age that if you're not an eight, then you might as well be a 1 (not that I find any issue with being a 1). I was even talking to my friend about the uselessness of hijab a few weeks ago and she asked me if I wanted to start dressing like Miley Cyrus at the VMAs. See, no in between. It's no wonder western Muslim women cling to hijab.