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Theme Changer

 Topic: Ramadhaan fever

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  • Ramadhaan fever
     Reply #180 - June 27, 2014, 07:37 PM
    He says he is all the time, especially if he wants something. "Come on, I am your son now/you are my mother now." He swears that it's a high compliment where he comes from to compare a woman to your beloved mother, but I keep telling him that out here it is repulsive and also if I were his mother he'd be dead by now. I don't know how she did it with all those kids. My husband alone is more than a village could raise.  wacko
  • Ramadhaan fever
     Reply #181 - June 27, 2014, 07:48 PM
    Creepy, creepy, creepy!
  • Ramadhaan fever
     Reply #182 - June 27, 2014, 07:51 PM
    Yep. I think he still does it just to bother me.  finmad
  • Ramadhaan fever
     Reply #183 - June 27, 2014, 10:15 PM
    Why doesn't he want to meet your friends?
    `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
     `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad.  You're mad.'
     `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
     `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
  • Ramadhaan fever
     Reply #184 - June 28, 2014, 12:36 AM
    Threatened?
  • Ramadhaan fever
     Reply #185 - June 28, 2014, 12:48 AM
    He's the one she married.
    `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
     `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad.  You're mad.'
     `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
     `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
  • Ramadhaan fever
     Reply #186 - June 28, 2014, 04:21 AM
    Quote from: Quod Sum Eris on June 27, 2014, 10:15 PM
    Why doesn't he want to meet your friends?


    He really dislikes the idea of me having male friends. I've spoken to girlfriends/wives of Saudis before who reported that they were pressured into dropping all contact with any unrelated males and they complied, and even my husband has said things to me like, "No one in my country would accept their wives to be friends with other men. If they do, they do not care about her." I suppose part of it is religious but I have the feeling more of it is on the cultural side.

    I've certainly been far more lucky than the others, though. It bothers him, but like the clothing, like the praying, like everything, he lets me have my way. He just isn't happy about it, and feels that when I go to hang out with my friends knowing his discomfort I am showing my husband disrespect, that every time one of them looks at me they're showing him disrespect, that every male friend of mine wants to be with me, or, at the very least, have sex with me, and that's the only reason they hang around. Circling like vultures, waiting for a shot, because that's all that anyone could ever want from me, I guess.

    Ah well. He can't much feel disrespected when they're carrying his stuff for him when he meets them, right?
  • Ramadhaan fever
     Reply #187 - June 28, 2014, 04:32 AM
    Let it be known. Grin
    `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
     `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad.  You're mad.'
     `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
     `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
  • Ramadhaan fever
     Reply #188 - June 28, 2014, 04:46 AM
    On a side note, I did compromise with him in some ways on this and even wound up dropping one friend. This friend proposed to me after I had gotten married. I figured even rational, sane men would take issue with me if I continued seeing that guy after that. But the damage was done and he still points to that guy as proof that men and women can't be friends.  Roll Eyes
  • Ramadhaan fever
     Reply #189 - June 28, 2014, 06:11 AM
    When the majority can, it's not proof. I dated a girl like that once, also convinced I'd cheat left right and centre, so figured if she didn't trust me what was the point of continuing. Add that to the idea that I'd have to just cut off contact with my friends, a few of which I count among my best friends, probably wouldn't be the start of a healthy relationship anyway.

    A girl who's fine with my having friendships and trusts me not to cheat, that's a girl I can stick with. Afro
    `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
     `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad.  You're mad.'
     `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
     `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
  • Ramadhaan fever
     Reply #190 - June 28, 2014, 09:18 AM
    I dunno, I've had awkward experiences with male "friends", as have many of my friends. It's  politically incorrect but I think there is *some* substance to the stereotype that men and women can't be friends. 

    Quote from: lua on June 27, 2014, 07:37 PM
    He says he is all the time, especially if he wants something. "Come on, I am your son now/you are my mother now." He swears that it's a high compliment where he comes from to compare a woman to your beloved mother, but I keep telling him that out here it is repulsive

    Cheesy that's so creepy.

  • Ramadhaan fever
     Reply #191 - June 28, 2014, 09:20 AM
    Not the point.
    `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
     `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad.  You're mad.'
     `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
     `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
  • Ramadhaan fever
     Reply #192 - June 28, 2014, 09:27 AM
    What do you mean? I'm just saying that I get why he'd be suspicious of the intentions of her male friends. Regardless of what he thinks about the scruples of the friends though, he should still trust her enough to not get jealous or paranoid about potential cheating. 
  • Ramadhaan fever
     Reply #193 - June 28, 2014, 09:32 AM
    Quote from: lua on June 28, 2014, 04:21 AM
    He really dislikes the idea of me having male friends. I've spoken to girlfriends/wives of Saudis before who reported that they were pressured into dropping all contact with any unrelated males and they complied, and even my husband has said things to me like, "No one in my country would accept their wives to be friends with other men. If they do, they do not care about her." I suppose part of it is religious but I have the feeling more of it is on the cultural side.

    I've certainly been far more lucky than the others, though. It bothers him, but like the clothing, like the praying, like everything, he lets me have my way. He just isn't happy about it, and feels that when I go to hang out with my friends knowing his discomfort I am showing my husband disrespect, that every time one of them looks at me they're showing him disrespect, that every male friend of mine wants to be with me, or, at the very least, have sex with me, and that's the only reason they hang around. Circling like vultures, waiting for a shot, because that's all that anyone could ever want from me, I guess.

    Ah well. He can't much feel disrespected when they're carrying his stuff for him when he meets them, right?


    Oh his poor little ego!  Cheesy
  • Ramadhaan fever
     Reply #194 - June 28, 2014, 09:50 AM
    So - apparently Ramadan starts today for some and tomorrow for others.

    And some say Ramadan Kareem and other say Ramadan Mubarak.

    Anyone care to give a little crash course of the differences? Huh?
    Danish Never-Moose adopted by the kind people on the CEMB-forum
    Ex-Muslim chat (Unaffliated with CEMB). Safari users: Use "#ex-muslims" as the channel name. CEMB chat thread.
  • Ramadhaan fever
     Reply #195 - June 28, 2014, 09:54 AM
    Lol, we usually say "Ramadan kareem" and "Eid mubarak" but I don't think it really matters much. 

    I thought it was today but my mum and sister were all "no, it's tomorrow" and apparently that's what the local mosques all said…so tomorrow it is. 
  • Ramadhaan fever
     Reply #196 - June 28, 2014, 01:43 PM
    Quote from: Quod Sum Eris on June 28, 2014, 06:11 AM
    When the majority can, it's not proof. I dated a girl like that once, also convinced I'd cheat left right and centre, so figured if she didn't trust me what was the point of continuing. Add that to the idea that I'd have to just cut off contact with my friends, a few of which I count among my best friends, probably wouldn't be the start of a healthy relationship anyway.

    A girl who's fine with my having friendships and trusts me not to cheat, that's a girl I can stick with. Afro


    Quote from: Al-Alethia on June 28, 2014, 09:27 AM
    What do you mean? I'm just saying that I get why he'd be suspicious of the intentions of her male friends. Regardless of what he thinks about the scruples of the friends though, he should still trust her enough to not get jealous or paranoid about potential cheating. 


    He bristles at my suggestion that he must not trust me whenever this comes up and insists that he does "one-hundred percent!" (couldn't say if that's true, but whatever), but that it still just bothers him because he is a guy and he knows what the guys are thinking, the fact that they are my friends is evidence that they're into me, they're gonna be wondering about my body whenever we're around (interestingly, most of these guys are neighbors I grew up with, and both they and their mothers and fathers have all seen me running around naked as a kid in my lawn, something I'm still reminded of to this day) and that he doesn't trust them.

    Also, he doesn't like that I continue to do something that he knows so upsets him. I have very few female friends, only some roommates and coworkers that I've kept over the years, but I've tried my best to explain to him why it is a heavy request and a large burden to put on me to ease his unfounded discomfort. It remains a sensitive subject, but he does let me do as I'd like.

    Quote from: Lilyesque on June 28, 2014, 09:32 AM
    Oh his poor little ego!  Cheesy


    I think that's the TL;DR version of his objections. He's not paranoid, he's insulted.
  • Ramadhaan fever
     Reply #197 - June 28, 2014, 01:58 PM
    Do you get on better with men than women lua? I find I do mostly.

    I'm so lucky Lassan isn't like that!
  • Ramadhaan fever
     Reply #198 - June 28, 2014, 02:04 PM
    I tend to, mostly because I rarely find women who share my interests. I know there's women out there who will stay up into the late hours of the night shooting space monsters with me, but they're much harder to find! For me to start getting along with a woman, she usually has to be forced to be in contact with me for long enough where we find some hidden common ground, like if we work together. Grin
  • Ramadhaan fever
     Reply #199 - June 28, 2014, 02:45 PM
    I don't know why I get on better with blokes in terms of interests to be honest. Just find they are more direct and to the point. Hate the way women (generalising here) beat round the bush to be diplomatic cause I can't tell what they really think then. I'd prefer honesty and be hurt than dishonesty where I feel somewhere down the line I might get hurt cause somebody hasn't been truthful with me.
  • Ramadhaan fever
     Reply #200 - June 28, 2014, 03:44 PM
    Aha, interesting...For whatever reason, I'm glad I'm not the only one with few female friends! I don't know if things would have been different had I not grown up with all these gross boys around.  wacko
  • Ramadhaan fever
     Reply #201 - June 28, 2014, 03:46 PM
    Quote from: Nikolaj on June 28, 2014, 09:50 AM
    So - apparently Ramadan starts today for some and tomorrow for others.

    And some say Ramadan Kareem and other say Ramadan Mubarak.

    Anyone care to give a little crash course of the differences? Huh?



    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qpAZ40CsRnw

    LULZ

    My mind runs, I can never catch it even if I get a head start.
  • Ramadhaan fever
     Reply #202 - June 28, 2014, 03:48 PM
    Quote from: lua on June 28, 2014, 03:44 PM
    Aha, interesting...For whatever reason, I'm glad I'm not the only one with few female friends! I don't know if things would have been different had I not grown up with all these gross boys around.  wacko


    I have two older brothers.
  • Ramadhaan fever
     Reply #203 - June 28, 2014, 04:09 PM
    Quote from: Qtian on June 28, 2014, 03:46 PM
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qpAZ40CsRnw
    LULZ


    Considering who he is it was surprisingly direct and concise wacko

    Some guy with a Turkish-looking name told me that Arabs start Ramadan tomorrow but his type of Islam - whatever that was, no idea - could even be Alevi? - start it today because they follow the (moon, I guess) calendar of the country they are in.
    Danish Never-Moose adopted by the kind people on the CEMB-forum
    Ex-Muslim chat (Unaffliated with CEMB). Safari users: Use "#ex-muslims" as the channel name. CEMB chat thread.
  • Ramadhaan fever
     Reply #204 - June 28, 2014, 04:22 PM
    So it is now ramadaan Smiley I can already feel this month is going to drag by.
    Out of curiosity, this question is directed to the ex muslims who were really religious at one point, I know in ramadaan I use to get this sense of peace and tranquility and I use to best connect with god. Anyone else felt that way? Does anyone know why exactly we felt that way. I am nostalgic of that time
    "I Knew who I was this morning, but I've changed a few times since then." Alice in wonderland

    "This is the only heaven we have how dare you make it a hell" Dr Marlene Winell
  • Ramadhaan fever
     Reply #205 - June 28, 2014, 04:40 PM
    I loved fasting. It made me high, seriously. I think some of it was bodily, and the rest was a delusion of grandeur or some such, over pleasing God.
    Of all religions, fasting and quiet contemplation/prayer are considered to be gateways to mysticism.
    When you are joining a cult, they deprive you of protein to make you more compliant and obedient. Protein is vital to asserting your will. The mind is far more receptive to brainwashing without it.
    Just things I used to think about when I was not able to fast after the children started being born one after the other.
    Don't let Hitler have the street.
  • Ramadhaan fever
     Reply #206 - June 28, 2014, 04:41 PM
    ^ fasting in general puts you on a high and makes you feel peaceful and clean..

    Edit: you beat me to it  : )
  • Ramadhaan fever
     Reply #207 - June 28, 2014, 04:44 PM
    Thing is between the ages of 16-19 I used to not eat much and was 45kg. I have never felt as calm and in control as I did then, but I ate tonnes of protein and had binge sessions.

    I felt so driven then and would pinch my tummy every day and weigh myself also to check I was staying in a range.
  • Ramadhaan fever
     Reply #208 - June 28, 2014, 04:55 PM
    im not talking about a high or anything like that, but a spiritual connection that I felt in that month, a beauty in the month itself. Where I would get extra religious and feel closer to god.
    Honestly fasting was a small part of ramadaan for me
    "I Knew who I was this morning, but I've changed a few times since then." Alice in wonderland

    "This is the only heaven we have how dare you make it a hell" Dr Marlene Winell
  • Ramadhaan fever
     Reply #209 - June 28, 2014, 05:01 PM
    But that is the high, just that because you were religious at the time, and dedicating your being to your faith, that happy connected feeling, self control, serenity etc, was actually the high in effect.

    When I am hungry I feel wonderful.  I don't attribute that feeling to being hungry at the time however, I attribute it to other things I am committed to that bring me a sense of inner peace.  It feels like they are entwined.

    When on the other hand, I am full, I feel disconnected, unhappy, stressed, isolated even since my desire to extrovert even a little is overrun. 

    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
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