Yes. I have been dealing with figuring out what I believe on the "big issues" of morality, and honestly it's quite scary and it's difficult to try to work things out for yourself. I can really understand why so many people find it so comforting to have someone else give them answers, whether it's God or their guru. That's why I've been a bit more withdrawn and less active the last few days, I've been dealing with how do I make up my mind for myself and how do I avoid falling into just latching on to someone else to give me my morality, whether it's a secular writer or a religious figure. I don't want to become someone's lackey, basically, and trying to figure out how to avoid that is confusing and difficult.
I think everyone goes through periods of that kind of soul-searching. For me, my view of morality is grounded in empathy, in the golden rule or reciprocity: I try as much as possible to put myself in others' shoes. It's not always accurate because I don't have full access to anyone else's experiences or thoughts, but at least if I have this as my foundation, I am flexible about it. When new information comes to me about how my view might be inaccurate or harmful to others, I try to re-evaluate my position and modify it to encompass a larger and more diverse perspective. It's an ongoing thing. Most important, IMO, is to keep learning & stay humble and not start thinking we know everything about everything and have nothing new to learn.
But I can see now that the answer is definitely not to lock myself away and try to work it all out on my own. I need to have a more free and open exchange of ideas, to float around different ideas, and have them subjected to criticism, and crucially, I need to determine the merits of that criticism and decide whether or not to incorporate it into my beliefs. That is the part I think has been lacking in the past; when confronted on my beliefs, I tended to either ignore the criticism or completely abandon my position in favor of the new one. I need to critically evaluate the new information on its merits, and not accept or reject it based on my perception of the person presenting it's authority.
It is important to face criticism even when it hurts. It's supposed to hurt a little, otherwise it's not really 'criticism'. Even in the most hurtful criticism, often there's something we need to learn, some kind of blind spot being pointed out to us. Many people criticize not to improve others but to make themselves feel superior to others. It takes a certain amount of thick skin + experience + a detachment from your own ego, to really be able to learn from criticism. As much as possible, when criticizing others, it's a good idea to argue about ideas or actions instead of attacking the person. Unless of course a person is really there just to hurt others & has no empathy themselves.
Ideas are fine-tuned when confronted with criticism. I have learned so much about myself and my thoughts have been clarified to me via those who've criticized them. Sometimes, it IS important to let go of old thoughts and beliefs. There's no shame in learning, growing as a person. Other times, the ideas need tweaking but are basically sound.
[Is that the correct use of an apostrophe in it's? I think it is because it is the person's authority, the it is an extension of the clause including the person, and the clause is possessive. I suck at grammar. Never really understood it, I just have such an extensive vocabulary and so much reading under my belt that I can hide that.]
Yep you used it correctly in most places
It's = "It is" (It's cold outside)
Its = possessive (Read its ingredients)