Actually, didn't you say you're in a Western country now? If it's within your means, you should consider taking university courses on Islamic history, particularly from universities which offer Islamic Studies certificates or something similar. The majority of the courses I took on this subject were from a strictly non-religious perspective, usually starting off pretty far back in pre-Islamic Arabia with discussions on how the climate and the events of the time influenced the religion as it progressed. You might enjoy some of the classes if you have the opportunity.
It may not be the easiest thing in the world to find people interested in discussing it outside of an academic setting, however, but I don't think it's all really the taboo of the religion's fault. I just think there aren't tons and tons of knowledgeable enthusiasts of Islamic history just chatting it up on the internet, and you'd probably be looking for professors and historians and researchers and what have ya.
actually, I am at the "post ex-Muslim" stage, the reason, i got sucked into this subject, I wanted just to have a new narrative, even when I was an Orthodox Muslim, I always believed that the Quran did not come from ex nihilo , I always knew this is not how religion and sacred text emerge.
I worked once in Iraq, and Shia Iraqi liked to discuss with me, as for them, I was an open minded Sunni, and this experience shacked all what I know about the Islamic traditional, so basically those decent guys, have a total different narrative, and they are "normal" Muslim contrary to extremist propaganda.
this experience led me to be very skeptical of the tradition, and i come to the conclusion, that most of it, is an idealized reconstruction of a past that may have happened or not.
i turned then to western scholars, and i was shocked by the state of early Islamic studies, it is into a total disarray !!!! it seems that there isn't even an agreement on the Basics, there are a lot of competing models of " Islam origins".
am I totally objective into reading those models ?, of course not, I still have a very poetic view of Khadija as a motherhood figure, do I believe the story of Zayd ? i totally rejected it, and consider it a later fabrication, I don't even buy into Quraiza massacre , i consider it a myth, and I even use the Medina treaty as a proof. do the Quran have different layers, anyone with basic arabic skills can figure out by himself.
so unconsciously, i pick and choose " proofs " to confirm a pre established image. may be i can't even change that image, maybe I shouldn't, people like to have an idealized view of some historical past, why not ?
Topic: Findings of Critical Scholarship vis-a-vis the Traditional Islamic Understanding