Can Religion be a force of Good?
Reply #25 - June 01, 2015, 03:44 PM
I was pretty much an atheist when some ordeal happened that wound up costing a bunch of people their lives in my hometown, and many families I knew were totally devastated and lost family members and young children, my family was intact but it was a close miss and my mother lost some of her friends, it was just a huge, giant mess.
That Sunday after the incident was only a couple days after, and my whole family woke up in the early morning when it was still pitch black outside and would be for a long time, and I threw on the hijab, pinned a loose end across my face so that you could only see the slit of my eyes and I wouldn't have to worry about the cameras, and we all went to the earliest service at the church in town where my father works.
The little church was packed like I'd never seen it before, the service was loud because everyone was crying, and I sat in the balcony and saw people below reaching across the aisles and holding hands with each other, grown men and teenagers sobbing, it was crazy. The pastor didn't know what to say, said the typical religious lines about how they're in God's hands now and all that, and then some more important lines about anger, blame, and forgiveness. When the service was over, people lingered for a long time, and I remember the pastor's wife took my hands and thanked me for coming, that it meant a lot to her, and it was never really a question, we couldn't not go. Our town is small, everyone knows everyone, so we flock to the places where we know our neighbors are grieving, hijabs and all (I don't think our little town ever saw so many hijabs as it did in the aftermath of this incident from an influx of sympathizers and volunteers).
In one way, the religious institutions in our town were community gathering places. We knew to go there for support. It was a place for people to go for help, for company, for community, and churches always have open doors. I also resented religion a little around this time, because some representatives of some religions that didn't have a location in our town started coming over, and in my view at the time they were vultures, like the guy passing out perfumed scientology guidebooks around town, but whatever. There's good and bad either way, and I'd prefer there to be a sense of community and caring for your neighbors without religion being involved, but that's a tall order for now.
I know some of the people who lost loved ones are not religious. But some of them are. And as you can clearly see, I talk a lot, and I don't pull too many punches, but nothing on Earth will make me shut up faster than one of those parents saying that they know God has a plan for them, that they're going to see their kid again, that the other day they swear they felt her presence beside them or that they spoke to them in a dream. The world is pretty rough, we all have different ways of getting by, and if that makes them feel better, who the fuck am I to complain? Would it make any difference if they realized what I believe is the gravity of their loss? Of course not, God no, and so I've made it a policy of mine that I don't meddle in these coping mechanisms of grief.
Ideally, everyone could just find coping mechanisms outside of religion, support outside of it, but in some situations, I genuinely believe that some people couldn't keep going without this hope, they couldn't take being saddled with the magnitude of the anger and despair of those who look at the situation plainly, and, so long as they aren't causing harm, we should do what we need to do to get by. So in those days, I found myself spouting religious rhetoric at an all-time high, and I don't regret it a bit, would do it again, would not dare to try to take any comfort away from them by suggesting that maybe that dream was just a dream, that feeling was just a feeling, and this world really is worse than you think it is. It's not my right to take that hope away from them, I hope that they keep it for the rest of their lives.
And besides, who knows? I don't have all the answers. And in instances like this, it's the best time to remember it, to step aside and agree that such a thing may be possible.