Just wanted to make sure everyone got to read the speech on the new page. Cheers to you all.
Ehheemmm…(Grabs mic)..
First of all, I’d like to thank God…for not existing.
Secondly, I’d like to thank all of my fellow hypocrites and apostates out there who believed in me and voted for me. I am so grateful for the opportunity to get to know each and every one of you. Your stories, your wit, your logic, and your unrelenting sense of satirical humor keep me addicted to this forum--day in and day out.
Your courage to stand up against those who would wish to silence you inspires me, and your refusal to sheepishly suck up to an invisible, tyrannical sky dictator for promises of cheap bribes in the hereafter encourages me to continue to push for the freedoms of those who are not as fortunate to be as open with their beliefs as we are.
And in the off chance that the universe really is run by a celestial brute, whose ultimate aim for humanity is to sadistically torture all but the most gullible of them, then brothers and sisters, it will be my honor to roast in hell next to you. I could scarcely think of better company. Thank you.