So it is more about maintaining links with the community more than anything else I guess?
Sounds like my Christians I know. Attend the holy days of obligation to keep up appearances.
Yeah, community and what people think really does matter to her. Firstly I'm a fairly introvert type of person and after my apostasy am really careful about who I make friends with and who I tell about my apostasy. I have learnt this the hard way unfortunately. If someone brings something up I don't like then I'll disagree with them and leave them something to think about.
With my wife it's slightly different, for her it's the practical consequences of what my apostasy entails for her and for the circle of friends she keeps company with. The furthest she has expressed to her friends about my feelings is that I have doubts about Islam and never full blown apostasy. Her concern lies more in the realm of what people might say or wagging fingers, the worst extreme is having other kids make fun of our kids, which for me is a bigger concern than what she thinks, because she is an adult and can deal with it.