I'm currently having a discussion with another muslim about this verse, he is insisting it means to tap them lightly with a siwaak. He is quoting this as his source-
?Ata? said: I said to Ibn ?Abbaas, what is the kind of hitting that is not harsh? He said, Hitting with a siwaak and the like. [A siwaak is a small stick or twig used for cleaning the teeth - Translator]
{if you want a proper source for these two I believe they come from Tafsir al-Tabari though that?s not translated}
As far as I'm aware al-Tabari is not considered 100% reliable as it's sources are not properly checked. Also the Quran and hadiths never tell you to use a siwaak, they just tell you to beat her (lightly).
I would like to hear everyone else's opinions on this verse.
First off, if you go by Pickthal's translation (I find it accurate), the word isn't (beat) it's (scourge). We all know what scourge means. Also, the lightly doesn't exist in Arabic-it's only found in some hadith in Tabbarri. Which is ironic that he uses this is a source considering all Muslims on the internet pretend they have never heard of Tabarri when it comes to quoting him on heaven. If I were you, I'd ask him not to use Tabarri because of reliability, if he asks why, show him what Tabarri says about Heaven.
Also, you can quote 38:44, which gives an example of a Prophet beating his wife. In this ayah, a prophet (job) is told to beat his wife with a branch! PICKTHAL: And (it was said unto him): Take in thine hand a branch and smite therewith, and break not thine oath. Lo! We found him steadfast, how excellent a slave! Lo! he was ever turning in repentance (to his Lord).
He even joyfully smites her! How nice, he is a good prophet as well ("How excellant a slave!")
You can even use that story that was found in Ibn Kathir (from Bukhari). If he wants to use a muffassir you should too:
Here is a Hadith from Bukhari[8], vol. 7, # 715, that details Islamic wife beating:
"Narrated Ikrima: 'Rifaa divorced his wife whereupon Abdur-Rahman married her. Aisha said that the lady came wearing a green veil and complained to her (Aisha) and showed her a green spot on her skin caused by beating. It was the habit of ladies to support each other, so when Allah's messenger came, Aisha said, "I have not seen any woman suffering as much as the believing women. Look! Her skin is greener than her clothes! When Abdur-Rahman heard that his wife had gone to the prophet, he came with his two sons from another wife. She said, "By Allah! I have done no wrong to him, but he is impotent and is as useless to me as this," holding and showing the fringe of her garment. Abdur-Rahman said, "By Allah, O Allah's messenger! She has told a lie. I am very strong and can satisfy her, but she is disobedient and wants to go back to Rifaa." Allah's messenger said to her, "If that is your intention, then know that it is unlawful for you to remarry Rifaa unless Abdur-Rahman has had sexual intercourse with you." The prophet saw two boys with Abdur-Rahman and asked (him), "Are these your sons?" On that Abdur-Rahman said, "Yes." The prophet said, "You claim what you claim (that he is impotent)? But by Allah, these boys resemble him as a crow resembles a crow.""
Here are some good observations about wife beating based on this hadith (I found it on the article I found the Hadith ref)
Let's note several items from this Hadith.
1) A woman was beaten by her husband because of marriage discord. The women did not commit any illegal sexual act. She was beaten and bruised because her husband said she was "disobedient" and he thought she wanted to go back to her former husband.
2) Aisha said, "I have not seen any woman suffering as much as the believing women. Look! Her skin is greener than her clothes!
The woman was badly bruised. Her skin was green. Aisha acknowledged that the Muslim women were suffering (from being beaten) more than the non-Muslim women. Muslims today proclaim that Islam gave women rights but Aisha, the "mother of the believers" said otherwise! She said that the Pagan women were treated better!
3) Muhammad did not rebuke the man for beating his wife. In fact, he reproached the women for saying Rahman was impotent. Even though she was hurt Muhammad accepted her bruises and beating because to Muhammad it was not abuse. In Muhammad?s eyes she deserved the beating.
Topic: 4:34 "Beat them"