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Theme Changer

 Topic: Women making the first move?

 (Read 14226 times)
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  • Re: Women making the first move?
     Reply #90 - June 04, 2009, 09:47 PM

    They are usually more subtle then men.  

    Best way is to look out for the signs - fiddling with jewellary, struggling to articulate themselves, prolonged gazes, erect nipples - that kind of thing  Smiley

    That's not subtle, that's completely vague.
    If you look hard enough you can spot those signs even in girls who don't give a crap :S

    Fiddling with their hair, lots of trips to the ladies room with their girly mates perhaps? They are subtle, maybe the girls can help us out here?  (btw I wasnt being serious about the erect nipple thing)

    My Book     news002       
    My Blog  pccoffee
  • Re: Women making the first move?
     Reply #91 - June 04, 2009, 09:49 PM

    If I like you, you won't know about it.  Check to see if I'm ignoring you on purpose lol because that's a good sign.  Tongue

    I've never felt a first attraction for a man IRL, it's always been the other way round.  I need attraction to attract me, so not all women will show signs, infact most of us are pretty good at NOT showing attraction.

    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Women making the first move?
     Reply #92 - June 04, 2009, 09:56 PM

    Fiddling with their hair, lots of trips to the ladies room with their girly mates perhaps? They are subtle, maybe the girls can help us out here?  (btw I wasnt being serious about the erect nipple thing)

    And people wonder why I don't get laid ^_^
    That's seriously too much effort, I'd rather masturbate for life dance

    Do not look directly at the operational end of the device.
  • Re: Women making the first move?
     Reply #93 - June 04, 2009, 09:56 PM

    Lol ah right, I thought you thought I was mocking people who have had to have masectomies and need to use them.  lipsrsealed

    Man am I paranoid tonight,  Wink

    I have such special effect on people Cry

    Do not look directly at the operational end of the device.
  • Re: Women making the first move?
     Reply #94 - June 04, 2009, 09:58 PM

    And people wonder why I don't get laid ^_^
    That's seriously too much effort, I'd rather masturbate for life dance

    I suppose it doesnt matter. There's no point in you going for a women who finds you attractive, but you dont anyway. If you find them attractive, best trying your luck and keeping your fingers crossed.

    My Book     news002       
    My Blog  pccoffee
  • Re: Women making the first move?
     Reply #95 - June 04, 2009, 10:09 PM

    I suppose it doesnt matter. There's no point in you going for a women who finds you attractive, but you dont anyway. If you find them attractive, best trying your luck and keeping your fingers crossed.

    Attraction for me doesn't work that way.

    I cannot look at a woman and think "oh, attractive Smiley".
    I can only go "oh, unattractive :(" if she actually looks ugly. Otherwise if she has okay looks, it depends on her general attitude.

    So I don't make any first move simply because I am not even able to pick a target to approach.

    Do not look directly at the operational end of the device.
  • Re: Women making the first move?
     Reply #96 - June 08, 2009, 08:42 PM

    I had such an experience in 2005 where a lady came onto me quite strogly (and she was a stunner) couldn't figure out what made her do it but thought she might have been on a rebound at the time................. didnt mind it one bit to tell you the truth


    the whole thing didnt work in the end but the fact that she had made the approach was rather flattering and in no way made me think any worse of her, suppose its a bit immature of men to think that way like someone pointed out in one of the replies (male chauvinist would be more likely to take it negatively i suppose)

    You know your god is man-made when he hates all the same people you do
  • Re: Women making the first move?
     Reply #97 - June 08, 2009, 09:21 PM

    I think it is very sexy when women hit on men and make the first move! And flattering indeed! Grrrrrrrrrrrrr! Big hug

    ...
  • Re: Women making the first move?
     Reply #98 - July 06, 2012, 05:20 AM

    See, this is why i dont take what women say seriously most of the time,y'all say a lot of things that you dont actually mean whistling2

    "I'm standing here like an asshole holding my Charles Dickens"

    "No theory,No ready made system,no book that has ever been written to save the world. i cleave to no system.."-Bakunin
  • Re: Women making the first move?
     Reply #99 - July 06, 2012, 06:59 AM

    I've made the first move quite a few times, always worked fine for me Smiley I doubt you'll get many repercussions with the more liberal minded who aren't so up themselves. I asked my current bf for his number (I cant remember which one of us started the conversation first though, it might've been him). We're now in a very happy relationship.

    Don't dress like a slut though, that puts the more sensible men off and it might make you look like a slag if you hit on other men. A lot of it comes down to how you dress.

    Shit I cant believe I ever said that! mysmilie_977 Funny how times change.
  • Re: Women making the first move?
     Reply #100 - July 06, 2012, 07:47 AM

    People change grin12

    "I'm standing here like an asshole holding my Charles Dickens"

    "No theory,No ready made system,no book that has ever been written to save the world. i cleave to no system.."-Bakunin
  • Re: Women making the first move?
     Reply #101 - July 06, 2012, 07:57 AM

    We do indeed.
  • Re: Women making the first move?
     Reply #102 - July 06, 2012, 08:26 AM

    Funny, because yesterday at campus, a hijabi girl passed me by while i was busy scrolling my phone and she said "Hello Cato(my real name of course Tongue ) " and i have no clue who she is,also she even looks back before she turn the other way,though i managed to put on a smile when she did that.

    Tbh, i feel flattered but i wish she could have stop though that would be too much to ask.

    "I'm standing here like an asshole holding my Charles Dickens"

    "No theory,No ready made system,no book that has ever been written to save the world. i cleave to no system.."-Bakunin
  • Re: Women making the first move?
     Reply #103 - July 06, 2012, 01:02 PM

    i find it more arousing when the woman instigates it
  • Re: Women making the first move?
     Reply #104 - July 06, 2012, 01:32 PM

    Shit I cant believe I ever said that! mysmilie_977 Funny how times change.


    So what is your opinion now then?

    I don't judge a woman by how she dresses. In fact I like seeing women dressed revealing because I love the feminine form. The female body is beautiful aside from being sexually arousing so there is nothing wrong with flaunting what you've got. You wouldn't cover up a great work of art because it is beautiful, so why should you cover up a human body?

    My wife has this theory that if you are going to show your bare legs then you should cover your shoulders and if you are going to show your shoulders then you should cover your legs (she is talking about thighs here, not ankles). If you show both your shoulders and your thighs then that looks trashy (according to her). My wife is all around quite conservative and she is from Colombia which has a somewhat different culture from the UK (though still Western).

    Anyway, I never really thought about this before, But since she told me that, I do notice that down here in Miami, the girls that I see showing off their shoulders and their legs at the same time do tend to be hanging out with trashy looking dudes (i.e. Jersey Shore type dudes with gold chains and stuff), whereas the girls that show either their shoulders or their legs (but not both) tend to be with more classy looking, or at least less 'flashy' looking dudes.
  • Re: Women making the first move?
     Reply #105 - July 06, 2012, 02:21 PM

    That would be down to all the people who still think a woman is trashy if she does both. 

    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Women making the first move?
     Reply #106 - July 06, 2012, 02:41 PM

    So what is your opinion now then?

    As liberal as it can get (or I'm trying to be anyway).
  • Re: Women making the first move?
     Reply #107 - July 06, 2012, 02:47 PM

    i find it more arousing when the woman instigates it


     13
  • Re: Women making the first move?
     Reply #108 - July 06, 2012, 02:54 PM

    See, this is why i dont take what women say seriously most of the time,y'all say a lot of things that you dont actually mean whistling2


    It only seems like Colonel Q-Daffi and onlyme have had this happen to them. The latter we can discredit on post count alone, and the former from the rarity of such an experience I think we can now safely conclude is a troll.

    But seriously, I think socialized gender roles just are too damn comfortable to like 98% of people. Even those who fight.

    how fuck works without shit??


    Let's Play Chess!

    harakaat, friend, RIP
  • Re: Women making the first move?
     Reply #109 - July 06, 2012, 03:08 PM

    That would be down to all the people who still think a woman is trashy if she does both. 


    You are right. It is all about cultural norms and how people are perceived based on those. Me personally I would not be put off by a girl dressing revealingly. On the contrary I like it, especially if she is attractive.

    Anyway how did the whole making the first move thing work out?

    I have never heard of men feeling intimidated by a girl making the first move. In fact that is every man’s fantasy. Men are not used to this kind of thing so they would feel super complimented by it. Even if they don’t find the girl attractive I doubt they would be rude or embarrass her because it would be a massive compliment to the guy’s ego. It is not like for women where guys are constantly hitting on them so they feel justified to be rude to guys because it gets tedious.

    The approach of buying the guy a drink is definitely not a good move though as that reeks of desperation. Unless you already know the guy and are trying to turn a friendship into something more, then buying a drink would be a great gesture.

    The best thing to do is to just try to make eye contact and then smile or wink and if you get a smile or a wink back then just go up and introduce yourself. In fact that is probably the best approach for men or women.

    For a woman, smiling and winking after some eye contact should be enough to get the guy to come over to you if he is into you. Then you don’t even need to deal with the fear of rejection but you still played the active part in initiating the contact and got to choose the guy, so it’s a win-win.
  • Re: Women making the first move?
     Reply #110 - July 06, 2012, 04:35 PM

    You are right. It is all about cultural norms and how people are perceived based on those. Me personally I would not be put off by a girl dressing revealingly. On the contrary I like it, especially if she is attractive.

    Anyway how did the whole making the first move thing work out?


    I just reread this thread..............maaaaan was a different person back then.

    I never did it, and now I never will since I no longer care.  Cheesy

    As awful and sexist and whatever it makes me, I have completely gone off men.  I have no trust for them on so many levels it would be utterly pointless hitting on one.

    I apologise to all the guys on this forum who think they aren't like that in advance but whether or not my statement is true to real life, it is true to my life, which is the real life I live in.


    Quote

    I have never heard of men feeling intimidated by a girl making the first move. In fact that is every man’s fantasy. Men are not used to this kind of thing so they would feel super complimented by it. Even if they don’t find the girl attractive I doubt they would be rude or embarrass her because it would be a massive compliment to the guy’s ego. It is not like for women where guys are constantly hitting on them so they feel justified to be rude to guys because it gets tedious. 


    I think you'll find it isn't.

    After all my ex would lose his erection if I so much as made a dominant move and automatically assumes if she is hitting on a guy then she is a slut.

    Many men are like him, and many are not, but it's not really a fact to say that it is every man's fantasy.

    Quote

    The approach of buying the guy a drink is definitely not a good move though as that reeks of desperation. Unless you already know the guy and are trying to turn a friendship into something more, then buying a drink would be a great gesture.

    The best thing to do is to just try to make eye contact and then smile or wink and if you get a smile or a wink back then just go up and introduce yourself. In fact that is probably the best approach for men or women.

    For a woman, smiling and winking after some eye contact should be enough to get the guy to come over to you if he is into you. Then you don’t even need to deal with the fear of rejection but you still played the active part in initiating the contact and got to choose the guy, so it’s a win-win.



    or everyone could think you have something in your eye Grin

    well thank you anyway.

    I'm just not the person I used to be by a long shot.  I feel defeated and that's that really.

    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Women making the first move?
     Reply #111 - July 06, 2012, 04:45 PM

    hmm... sounds like me.. BerberElla  wacko
  • Re: Women making the first move?
     Reply #112 - July 06, 2012, 05:40 PM

    I think you'll find it isn't.

    After all my ex would lose his erection if I so much as made a dominant move and automatically assumes if she is hitting on a guy then she is a slut.

    Many men are like him, and many are not, but it's not really a fact to say that it is every man's fantasy.


    Well it is true that I do not know anything about Moroccan men, or what is perceived as "dominant behavior" in Moroccan culture. If that is the way your ex would see it then am I sure you are right but it seems strange to me. But then again Arab men do tend to have some pretty strange ideas about how men and women should behave with one another.

    I don't know any guy that would feel "emasculated" by the thought of a girl hitting on him. The thought of being so good looking that you are turning all the girl's heads and they are all desperate to come and talk to you, that is surely the epitamy of alpha masculinity. I.e. you don't even need to make an effort, the girls come right to you.  cool2

    Unless of course the girl is not attractive and keeps doing it and starts being aggressive about it, that's a whole nother matter.

    As awful and sexist and whatever it makes me, I have completely gone off men.  I have no trust for them on so many levels it would be utterly pointless hitting on one.

    I apologise to all the guys on this forum who think they aren't like that in advance but whether or not my statement is true to real life, it is true to my life, which is the real life I live in.


    No offence taken, based on what you have gone through with your ex, I totally understand why you would have such a negative view of men. But everyone is an individual.....

    Anyway I think it is always best to be prepared for the worst but expect the best.
     
    ....or at least expect mediocrity.  Tongue
  • Re: Women making the first move?
     Reply #113 - July 06, 2012, 11:00 PM


    I have never heard of men feeling intimidated by a girl making the first move. In fact that is every man’s fantasy. Men are not used to this kind of thing so they would feel super complimented by it. Even if they don’t find the girl attractive I doubt they would be rude or embarrass her because it would be a massive compliment to the guy’s ego. It is not like for women where guys are constantly hitting on them so they feel justified to be rude to guys because it gets tedious.



    Not with my X, if I tried to hug him he'd get angry (most of the time), if I made the first move in the bedroom, he'd get really angry. And I mean really angry, 'cause he was "the man", THE MAN.

    It was all about control - I was his property, I had to come at his beck and call, let him fuck me whenever he wanted, no matter how I felt about it. And in being his property, I had no right, in fact it was a big no no to make any advances no matter what, he felt like I was taking away his power in doing so. He had to have all the power, all the control, all of the time. I was HIS sex object, his sex toy. I had no such privileges. It was about ownership. If he gave me permission to hug him (like if I asked him and he said yes, which was rare), I could, or if he hugged me then I could hug him back, but I couldn't just go up to him and hug him. If I tried to initiate sex with him, he'd blow up so fast and I'd get a bashing (I think I only tried to initiate sex with him maybe twice), but if he wanted to have sex, then sex it was, no matter how I felt. If I tried kissing him, he'd backhand me. If he told me to do something, than I had to do it (like give him a blow job, massage, kiss etc...), but if I tried to initiate physical affection it was a big no no, or if I asked him to say kiss me on my neck 'cause it feels nice, he wouldn't do it and get angry and hit me 'cause I was acting like a man by asking for what I want. No wonder I never had an orgasm when with him.  Cheesy

    So I rarely tried to initiate any physical affection towards him, it was a guaranteed way to get him really angry really quickly and probably end up with a punch in the face.

    Mind you, he used to come home and tell me about how ALL the women who walked into the shop he was working in desperately wanted him (and I'd be thinking, you're deluded mate) and he'd moan and moan about it, asking me how to stop women from wanting him. How to stop them from wanting to fuck him. He was very concerned about zina and was concerned that he might sleep with one of these women 'cause they all wanted him so badly.  Roll Eyes He'd ask me what's wrong with women that they are all sluts and want him so badly. He'd say to me that I'm a woman, so what are those women thinking when they wear mini skirts and revealing clothing. Blah blah blah blah, he'd go on about their boobs etc, and he asked a few of the women who come into his shop if they would become second wife and couldn't understand why none of them would take him up on the offer. He said to me that the only reason they didn't want to become second wife was 'cause they are sluts and only want to have sex with him and nothing more. Roll Eyes

    Funny thing, is that the X is not that attractive, not to mention sporting a long black beard and wearing a jelabiyah most of the time, and acting like a pompous arrogant arsehole... so the chances that some woman would walk into the store and want to fuck him is very unlikely, it was more likely that they'd think he was a complete and utter wanker.

    He used to try to convert women who'd come in the store, he'd try to convince them why polygamy is a good idea, he'd tell people why a wife needs to be taught a lesson at home by her husband (and wonder why the fuck no one took him up on his "second-wife" offer  Cheesy ) whilst he was on the phone with me - I'd have to listen to him telling these people these things more times than I can count when he'd call me at home from the shop whilst he was dealing with the customers. Aka giving dawah. He was a very good dawah giver, funny no one converted 'cause of him though.  Cheesy

    Crazy wanker.

  • Re: Women making the first move?
     Reply #114 - July 06, 2012, 11:34 PM

    this thread depresses me.
  • Re: Women making the first move?
     Reply #115 - July 07, 2012, 01:56 AM

    This thread is fun. Women want to hit on me too, and not just the other way around?  dance  party!

    how fuck works without shit??


    Let's Play Chess!

    harakaat, friend, RIP
  • Re: Women making the first move?
     Reply #116 - July 07, 2012, 03:04 AM

    Crazy wanker.


     far away hug

    Wow Dude! Sometimes I am just left totally speechless after reading your stories. I am so sorry you had to go through this. But I am also so happy that you managed to leave that asshole.

    I was thinking about it and I have come to the conclusion that the best revenge against this asshole is that he will live knowing that his kids will not be raised as Muslims. Seeing as he is such a Dawah fanatic, then knowing that his own kids will not be Muslims must really hurt him. It must hit him at the core of his being and that is probably the best single piece of revenge possible. Obviously that slimeball deserves a lot more than just that, but that is probably the biggest single thing to get back at him.

    The best revenge is living well, for you and your kids.  Smiley
  • Re: Women making the first move?
     Reply #117 - July 07, 2012, 05:58 AM

    Da_Dude, i think your husband is an archtype douche who has a gnawing sense of inferiority and very sensitive to their weak ego. What kind of man would get angry at his wife for making the first move or try to surprise him with something kinky? Fuck him, i say good riddance.

    "I'm standing here like an asshole holding my Charles Dickens"

    "No theory,No ready made system,no book that has ever been written to save the world. i cleave to no system.."-Bakunin
  • Re: Women making the first move?
     Reply #118 - July 07, 2012, 07:49 AM

    Not with my X, if I tried to hug him he'd get angry (most of the time), if I made the first move in the bedroom, he'd get really angry. And I mean really angry, 'cause he was "the man", THE MAN.

    It was all about control - I was his property, I had to come at his beck and call, let him fuck me whenever he wanted, no matter how I felt about it. And in being his property, I had no right, in fact it was a big no no to make any advances no matter what, he felt like I was taking away his power in doing so. He had to have all the power, all the control, all of the time. I was HIS sex object, his sex toy. I had no such privileges. It was about ownership. If he gave me permission to hug him (like if I asked him and he said yes, which was rare), I could, or if he hugged me then I could hug him back, but I couldn't just go up to him and hug him. If I tried to initiate sex with him, he'd blow up so fast and I'd get a bashing (I think I only tried to initiate sex with him maybe twice), but if he wanted to have sex, then sex it was, no matter how I felt. If I tried kissing him, he'd backhand me. If he told me to do something, than I had to do it (like give him a blow job, massage, kiss etc...), but if I tried to initiate physical affection it was a big no no, or if I asked him to say kiss me on my neck 'cause it feels nice, he wouldn't do it and get angry and hit me 'cause I was acting like a man by asking for what I want. No wonder I never had an orgasm when with him.  Cheesy

    So I rarely tried to initiate any physical affection towards him, it was a guaranteed way to get him really angry really quickly and probably end up with a punch in the face.

    Mind you, he used to come home and tell me about how ALL the women who walked into the shop he was working in desperately wanted him (and I'd be thinking, you're deluded mate) and he'd moan and moan about it, asking me how to stop women from wanting him. How to stop them from wanting to fuck him. He was very concerned about zina and was concerned that he might sleep with one of these women 'cause they all wanted him so badly.  Roll Eyes He'd ask me what's wrong with women that they are all sluts and want him so badly. He'd say to me that I'm a woman, so what are those women thinking when they wear mini skirts and revealing clothing. Blah blah blah blah, he'd go on about their boobs etc, and he asked a few of the women who come into his shop if they would become second wife and couldn't understand why none of them would take him up on the offer. He said to me that the only reason they didn't want to become second wife was 'cause they are sluts and only want to have sex with him and nothing more. Roll Eyes

    Funny thing, is that the X is not that attractive, not to mention sporting a long black beard and wearing a jelabiyah most of the time, and acting like a pompous arrogant arsehole... so the chances that some woman would walk into the store and want to fuck him is very unlikely, it was more likely that they'd think he was a complete and utter wanker.

    He used to try to convert women who'd come in the store, he'd try to convince them why polygamy is a good idea, he'd tell people why a wife needs to be taught a lesson at home by her husband (and wonder why the fuck no one took him up on his "second-wife" offer  Cheesy ) whilst he was on the phone with me - I'd have to listen to him telling these people these things more times than I can count when he'd call me at home from the shop whilst he was dealing with the customers. Aka giving dawah. He was a very good dawah giver, funny no one converted 'cause of him though.  Cheesy

    Crazy wanker.



    geee! Well, I thought I met weirdo's but this just does it  Roll Eyes The only good part in this post is the word 'X'  Wink
  • Re: Women making the first move?
     Reply #119 - July 07, 2012, 02:12 PM

    I could never. I already hate displaying too much emotion as it is so I couldn't imagine walking up to a guy and letting him know exactly how I feel about him. Kudos to guys and chicks who just go for it without so many hangups. You have many more huevos than I ever will.  cool2

    "I know where I'm going and I know the truth, and I don't have to be what you want me to be. I'm free to be what I want."
    Muhammad Ali
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