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 Topic: Conversation with Mum

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  • Conversation with Mum
     OP - September 12, 2009, 10:18 PM
    I spoke to my mother, in Pakistan, on the phone today.

    Me: Hello mum, how are you?
    Mother: I am fine. Tell me, are you fasting regularly?
    Me: Well, not really.
    Mother: You better fast, if not every day, at least on the weekends
    Me: Well, we will see
    Mother: How is your son, I so much want to see him
    Me: Thanks mum. I hope you will meet him soon. He is fine. He has started crawling (he is 8 month old). He also likes to talk in his own baby language, which we cannot understand.
    Mother: You better make sure that the first word he says is Allah. So say allah, allah in front of him all the time.
    Me: Mum, I dont want to get my 8 month old baby into religion.
    Mother: If you dont teach your son to say allah, allah, I fear that your white wife will teach him say God, God.
    Me: Mum, we both are not religious. When our son grows older, he can choose a religion to follow, if he wishes to do so.
    Mother: I am very disappointed from you. You have read Koran with translation and tafseer, you should be doing tabligh (preaching).
    Me: Mum, there are not many good things in Koran. Lets talk something else.
    Mother: Are you out of your freaking mind? You should watch Q channel. Learn from Dr Zakir Naik. He is such a learned person. He is converting so many Hindus, Sikhs and Christains to Islam.
    Me: Mum, he is a fraud. He tells partial truth.
    Mother: Do not say stupid things.
    Me: Mum, can we please talk about something else. Tell me how is weather in Pakistan.
    Mother: disappointed and does not want to speak anymore.

    Question
    How do you guys avoid religious conversations with your parents?
  • Re: Conversation with Mum
     Reply #1 - September 12, 2009, 10:23 PM
    We dont ever stop! Even when I am not having a religious conversation, my brothers would wind my mum up with "his kids first words will be Hare Krishna"

    P.S Your mum sounds like mine, particularly with the zakir naik comment.
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  • Re: Conversation with Mum
     Reply #2 - September 12, 2009, 10:23 PM
    I'm usually the one who's starting about religion... =P
    Twitter: https://twitter.com/ExMuslims
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  • Re: Conversation with Mum
     Reply #3 - September 12, 2009, 10:29 PM
    Oh don't get me started on conversations with mothers  banghead
    "Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused."
  • Re: Conversation with Mum
     Reply #4 - September 13, 2009, 01:31 AM
    My mum usually avoids conversations about religion with me cos I always bring up questions she can't answer  Cheesy
  • Re: Conversation with Mum
     Reply #5 - September 13, 2009, 05:54 AM
    My mom is no different.  Roll Eyes
    Pakistan Zindabad? ya Pakistan sey Zinda bhaag?

    Long Live Pakistan? Or run with your lives from Pakistan?
  • Re: Conversation with Mum
     Reply #6 - September 13, 2009, 06:29 AM
    Quote from: IsLame on September 12, 2009, 10:23 PM
    We dont ever stop! Even when I am not having a religious conversation, my brothers would wind my mum up with "his kids first words will be Hare Krishna"

    P.S Your mum sounds like mine, particularly with the zakir naik comment.



    I'm fairly sick to the back teeth of religious discussions with relatives, simply because I used to be a practising muslim and got in and out of all the profundities and fallacies that it presented. Zakir Naik and his ilk have been presented to me before, but the guy is hopeless in the face of all the great philosophers that have ever existed. If they need something to argueabout, then I would just email them a document I've put together.
  • Re: Conversation with Mum
     Reply #7 - September 13, 2009, 06:32 AM
    Unlucky mate, sorry to hear it. I don't have this issue personally, my mum occassionally asks if I believe in an after life or in angels or something stupid but I don't give straight answers so that I don't have to get into it, plus she doesn't really want to talk about it either.

    I hope things get better for you-it's difficult to lie but at the same time the truth causes arguments!
    "I am ready to make my confession. I ask for no forgiveness father, for I have not sinned. I have only done what I needed to do to survive. I did not ask for the life that I was given, but it was given nonetheless-and with it, I did my best"
  • Re: Conversation with Mum
     Reply #8 - September 13, 2009, 07:27 AM
    Quote from: open_thinking on September 12, 2009, 10:18 PM
    I spoke to my mother, in Pakistan, on the phone today.
    Question
    How do you guys avoid religious conversations with your parents?



    Like this:

    Mum; Hi How are you? are you fasting.
    Me; No.
    Mum; You should be, naughty boy, how is my lovely little Ali? Is he crawling? (he's 22)
    Me; Yes, towards the door, blood everywhere. I've been eating him, thats why I'm not fasting.
    Mum; Oh no.

    Always works.
    Ha Ha.
  • Re: Conversation with Mum
     Reply #9 - September 13, 2009, 07:38 AM
    Back when I first left Islam I used to speak to both my step mother and my father, if speaking is what you can call my very angry demands for answers to all the hadiths many of us were shocked by, and all the verses in the quran I had never read with my eyes open.

    Initially that tried to explain things to me, they tried to be patient, they even tried to give me cures, like listening to a recitation of the cow verse 30 times each night, in Arabic (not english), which I didn't even want to do lol infact by the time they gave me that cure I was very clear when I said "no way in hell will I listen to it".  Roll Eyes

    Eventually they got snappy with me, told me to stop asking questions, infact all the muslims I felt close to all ended up asking me not to mess with their faith anymore, and this was just from asking questions.

    My father stuttered this out when I was confronting him about the rape hadiths, he had no answer he knew would satisfy as I have always been the biggest supporter of a humane way of living and he knew nothing he could say could change the disgust I felt with what I had found out.

    I don't talk to them anymore though so I am spared this crap now.
    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Conversation with Mum
     Reply #10 - September 13, 2009, 08:12 AM
    Quote from: allat on September 12, 2009, 10:29 PM
    Oh don't get me started on conversations with mothers  banghead



    I only had one conversation with Mom long long time ago. It went like this:

    Mom:  I don't see you pray like your brother!
    Me:     I will when Allah guide me and increase my Imaan (I play I am just a non-practicing Muslim).
    Mom:  Try to pray and Allah will increase your Imaan.
    Me:     Mother, don't you know the verse "Allaho Yahdee Man Yashaa"..... English Translation:"Allah Guides whoever he wish to Imann"? So please Mother don't interfere with Allah's work. He is definitely waiting for something he only knows. When the time comes, he will "Insha Allah Yihdeeeni"..

    She never said a word to me about religion or praying after that. dance


    -------------

    Allat, I love your Greenish Angelic avatars, this one and the last one too. They are different! Afro
    ...
  • Re: Conversation with Mum
     Reply #11 - September 13, 2009, 08:20 AM
    wow sorry to read this.

    It sadly seems your mum cares more about religion than you, your wife and childs wellbeing. Sad that some religions can cause people to become so narrow minded and in someways uncompassionate.

  • Re: Conversation with Mum
     Reply #12 - September 13, 2009, 10:14 AM
    Quote from: spiral dive on September 13, 2009, 01:31 AM
    My mum usually avoids conversations about religion with me cos I always bring up questions she can't answer  Cheesy


    lol same here!!
    أشهد أن لا إله إلا الله وأن محمدآ عبده ورسوله
  • Re: Conversation with Mum
     Reply #13 - September 13, 2009, 10:24 AM
    it only serves to fuel the fire with my mum
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  • Re: Conversation with Mum
     Reply #14 - September 13, 2009, 10:57 AM
    i can't even have conversations like that with my wife or sisters, let alone Mum. I just add and agree when she talks religion, she needs it in her life so let her be.
    Take the Pakman challenge and convince me there is a God and Mo was not a murdering, power hungry sex maniac.
  • Re: Conversation with Mum
     Reply #15 - September 13, 2009, 12:05 PM
    I never have conversations with mum, it's usually mum going on about whatever she thinks, she doesnt even face me when she talks about religion.... Roll Eyes I just don't respond, because if i did i'd get emotional, might say something i regret, and my parents tell me off for using shouty voice and that i should use a soft voice when talking to them...so I decided no i won't talk to them.

    "Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom." - Viktor E. Frankl

    'Life is just the extreme expression of complex chemistry' - Neil deGrasse Tyson
  • Re: Conversation with Mum
     Reply #16 - September 13, 2009, 12:48 PM
    Yes, I find Islam is negative and plays on the insecurities & fear of its believers.

    The best memes dont have a conscience nor need to apply the truth - they spread because they work, and they work because they have spread.
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  • Re: Conversation with Mum
     Reply #17 - September 13, 2009, 12:49 PM
    Quote
    Stuff my mum say's goes like: I'll kill you lot someday; chop you up while your sleeping, put you in a black bag and chuck you out with the rubbish (this was the phrase she'd use a lot when I was a kid); wish you all died; you're better off dead; it's in the blood isn't it? (because my grandma's white/non-muslim), wish they die before they touch alcohol (she said that to a taxi driver) etc


    She sounds mentally unbalanced. 
    "Befriend them not, Oh murtads, and give them neither parrot nor bunny."  - happymurtad's advice on trolls.
  • Re: Conversation with Mum
     Reply #18 - September 13, 2009, 02:07 PM
    Quote from: open_thinking on September 12, 2009, 10:18 PM
    Mother: If you dont teach your son to say allah, allah, I fear that your white wife will teach him say God, God.


    And they call us goray log racist!!!   finmad
    Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

    The sleeper has awakened -  Dune

    Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day Give him a religion, and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish!
  • Re: Conversation with Mum
     Reply #19 - September 13, 2009, 02:13 PM
    Quote from: Cheetah on September 13, 2009, 12:49 PM
    She sounds mentally unbalanced. 


    If your family had been white and English Social Services would have been all over your mum for making threats like that!
    Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

    The sleeper has awakened -  Dune

    Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day Give him a religion, and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish!
  • Re: Conversation with Mum
     Reply #20 - September 14, 2009, 01:15 AM
    Quote from: Cheetah on September 13, 2009, 12:49 PM
    She sounds mentally unbalanced.  


    +1

    Stardust, is there any chance your mom would be up for going to see a therapist? She sounds like a highly stressed woman who is likely suffering from clinical depression, anxiety and possibly more dangerous mental issues. I am a big supporter of psychotherapy (when done of one's own choice and with a wise and truly caring therapist). I'm sorry to break it to you as my mother had said similar things to me when I was younger, but no sane woman would say or even think these kinds of things about her own children.
    "Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused."
  • Re: Conversation with Mum
     Reply #21 - September 14, 2009, 01:29 AM
    Hmm, yeah well my mum's not far off with comments such as "I'll kill myself if you so and so". But the regular comments include "you children of a pig", "I'll kick your teeth out", etc. I think she is a bit unbalanced, and she definitely suffer of begum syndrome. It's serious village mentality. But even my aunt's aren't this bad. Don't know what to do ....
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  • Re: Conversation with Mum
     Reply #22 - September 14, 2009, 01:35 AM
    Btw, hey stardust, I feel for you, I feel exactly the same sometimes. Though your mum sounds harsher. Quite honestly I find the "Oh just f*ck-off!" mentality is a good barrier to all the poison sometimes. Of course I never express it to anyone, except myself.
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    Relativism | Cognitive dissonance | Cognitive biases | Memeplex | Consequentialism
  • Re: Conversation with Mum
     Reply #23 - September 14, 2009, 01:53 AM
    My parents know that I'm an apostate, and they say they accept it, but from time to time, they try to persuade me to return to Islam by emotional blackmail.  eusa_boohoo
    Call me TAP TAP! for I am THE ASS PATTER!
  • Re: Conversation with Mum
     Reply #24 - September 14, 2009, 03:24 AM
    Quote from: HighOctane on September 14, 2009, 01:29 AM
    Hmm, yeah well my mum's not far off with comments such as "I'll kill myself if you so and so". But the regular comments include "you children of a pig", "I'll kick your teeth out", etc. I think she is a bit unbalanced, and she definitely suffer of begum syndrome. It's serious village mentality. But even my aunt's aren't this bad. Don't know what to do ....


        your mother calls you 'children of a pig' ? She hasn't thought that through has she ?
  • Re: Conversation with Mum
     Reply #25 - September 14, 2009, 08:25 AM
    My mum is forever calling me a bastard in Urdu.  Ive addressed with her what that means and its not really an indictment on me but her.  She usually goes all quiet and funnily enough she has stopped saying it now.
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  • Re: Conversation with Mum
     Reply #26 - September 14, 2009, 09:37 AM
    Quote from: IsLame on September 14, 2009, 08:25 AM
    My mum is forever calling me a bastard in Urdu.  Ive addressed with her what that means and its not really an indictment on me but her.  She usually goes all quiet and funnily enough she has stopped saying it now.

    She called you 'haramzadah' or 'harami' didn't she?
    Pakistan Zindabad? ya Pakistan sey Zinda bhaag?

    Long Live Pakistan? Or run with your lives from Pakistan?
  • Re: Conversation with Mum
     Reply #27 - September 14, 2009, 10:03 AM
    Both and if she is really mad then she normally reverts to English, buut dad usually tops them all all with 'bahn chaud'

    I still think insults work best in Punjabi though "Lan pe char, Bhangra kar"

    For those that dont know the lingo, it means 'sit on my  whistling2, and do Bhangra'
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  • Re: Conversation with Mum
     Reply #28 - September 14, 2009, 10:08 AM
    Quote from: IsLame on September 14, 2009, 10:03 AM
    Both and if she is really mad then she normally reverts to English, buut dad usually tops them all all with 'bahn chaud'

    I still think insults work best in Punjabi though "Lan pe char, Bhangra kar"

    For those that dont know the lingo, it means 'sit on my  whistling2, and do Bhangra'

    Imagine an angry parent calling their kid a "Gaandu"  Cheesy
    Pakistan Zindabad? ya Pakistan sey Zinda bhaag?

    Long Live Pakistan? Or run with your lives from Pakistan?
  • Re: Conversation with Mum
     Reply #29 - September 14, 2009, 10:12 AM
    Hey, I call my kids Gaandhu in front of my parents, you should see their reaction.  I just claim I dont know what it means as I was born here (its a queenie isnt it Wink).  They say its a bad word, but refuse to tell me what it means.
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