I always understood a completely opposite, lenient view of sex. The Salafi women's group I was involved in was allll about sex. They loved talking about it, and were of the strong opinion that between a husband and wife sex was meant to be ENJOYED. And fully, damnit.
Everyone likes to vilify verse 2:223 ("Your wives are as a tilth unto you; so approach your tilth when or how ye will.") as treating women like property. But that wasn't the point at all. Rather, it's meant to say there are no strict rules on how and when to have sex. There are only two restrictions: no period sex and no anal sex. Beyond that, anything is fair game, so enjoy yourselves!
As for oral sex, here is an anecdote I heard third hand from a friend of a sheikh's wife. A man came to the sheikh asking about oral sex, but he was too shy to ask outright so he instead tried a euphemism:
Man: Is it ok to eat my wife's... apple?
Sheikh: Yes, brother, apples are halal.
Man: No, I mean can I eat her
apple?
Sheikh: Yes, of course, all fruit is halal!
Man: No I don't mean an apple, I mean my
wife's apple.

Sheikh: Yes, if she wants to give you an apple you can eat it!
He wasn't getting it so finally the man spelled it out for him. The sheikh was a little dumbfounded, but after considering for a moment he said, yes I don't see why not.
He later told his wife about the strange request, and she confirmed it was a pretty normal thing. So he said, WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?
