Really? This is a difficult question, and ignore it if you wish. But would you change what you did so you could lead the life of your choosing, perhaps be sexually satisfied, but if it meant you wouldnt have had your children?
Hi IsLame
Thanks for raising some very pertinent questions
What I have is wonderful: a wife who cares for me and 2 gorgeous kids. A home of my own in a pretty bit of London. A respectable job. A comfortable life. Billions of people would love to have this life. Looking after my wife and raising my kids is something I enjoy and cherisg, and I have every intention to fulfi my obligations.
However, if I could turn back time, I would absolutely, definitely, certainly, forsake all of that in order to have lived a life of my own, not a life designed and constructed for me by others.
I dream daily about being an openly ex-muslim gay male. Oh how wondrful that sounds. To live a life of my own, even if I end up a penniless homeless drunk druggie. But it would be my choice. My life. My sex. My lusts. Me. I wish I had the freedom to be me.
I think thats why I joined this site, so my inner soul could be released for all to see. Whether I am judged with hostility, pity or welcomed with love and affection. I just need a place to be me.
I want to be able to say that Mohammad is, for me, a meaningless fictional imposter. That, for me, Allah is a non-entity. That I despise the arrogance and rightousness of my muslim 'friends'. That I think the male being is something that always has and continues to this day to sexually arouse me. That I enjoy fantasising about gay sex and realising it. That is the real me.
I want the world to know the truth about me.
Mowgli